


Crossfire

by JET_MacLeod



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:40:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 72,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29861004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JET_MacLeod/pseuds/JET_MacLeod
Summary: AU: Liv is a special agent/spy that is tasked with keeping Alex alive after she goes after a South American drug cartel. Liv's only task is to keep Alex alive. However, Alex isn't going to make that an easy task. She doesn't like taking orders well and is very spirited when it comes to Liv. Liv has to figure out a way to keep them both alive for Alex's court date or die trying.
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Alexandra Cabot
Comments: 10
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

She took apart her weapon and slowly, methodically packed it back into the hard black case. She continued to scan the horizon, looking to see if anyone had noticed her presence. It hadn't been easy but she'd made the shot. She would clean the rifle when she got back to her safe house. Until then, she would just keep moving. It was safer...for everyone.

It was her last job. She kept telling herself that, but she knew that the "company" wasn't going to let her go. They would let her "rest" and when they needed her specific skill set, they would call her back. She really didn't have a choice in the matter. She has been theirs from the beginning and she knew it. It was better than corning home to an abusive mother every night. Her rifle was her only family now. She took better care of her altered M40 and long range M82 then she did herself.

She sat back on her haunches as she closed the case and listened to the world around her. She was in it, but she wasn't part of it. She never had been, really. This wasn't the life she'd envisioned when she left home and joined the military. But, her upbringing and their training had groomed her for this and she knew it. They couldn't just let her walk away. They gave her a life. They gave her purpose and meaning. She couldn't leave unless they let her.

She was about to head out of her hide when her cell vibrated on her side. She pulled it out of her pocket and glanced at the number. She shook her head. She knew that they already had another target in mind and they were going to get her to move on it quickly. She was their emergency clean up when everyone else failed. She wondered who screwed up this time. They knew she was on the job and hadn`t called in to confirm her kill. It had to be important if they were calling her so fast.

"Yeah?" she questioned as she answered the phone in greeting.

"We need you to come in," the male voice on the other end replied.

"Got another job already?"

"Something like that. It isn't target though. Can you make extraction in twenty?"

"Not a target? You got a mark for me to follow? You know I don't do that. I am strictly in eliminations now. I don`t do spy work. I am not trained for that. I won't do it."

"We can talk about this when you get back. Time is of the essence right now. Can you make your extraction or not? Do we need to move it?" he asked.

"No, I can make it. I was just packing up and ready to move. I'll be at the point in ten."

"Good, I'll see once you come back in. We have a lot to talk about. For now, just rest. I promise you that you'll like this new job. It will be perfect for you."

"Don't toy with me, Gregor. You know I'm about to retire. I'm done with this. This was supposed to be my last job. What the hell is going on?"

"You'll see when you get here. I can`t tell you right now. It isn't secure. But, trust me, Liv, you`ll like this assignment. It is a little more...permanent," he answered and then hung up before she could say anything in reply.

She sat in the tiny apartment, surprised that the world hadn't ended like she'd hoped. She was still alive. She had no purpose, but she was still alive. It was something that she could use to build a new life on, she mused.

She stared around at the blank, normal white walls and sighed. There was no way that she could go back and she knew that, but this nondescript place was now her personal Hell. She had no one to blame but herself and she knew that. She longed for the smell of the City, the sounds, the hustle and bustle. It was the City and its demons that almost killed her, but she couldn't think of another place that she wanted to be. It was near winter and she wanted to see the snow. She wanted feel the vibe that the City gave off, but she was stuck in the middle of nowhere's-ville with a new name.

She wondered how long she would have to stay in the apartment. The marshals had mentioned that they were giving her to a new handler. She wasn't sure that she liked the sound of that, but she was sure it was better than where she was at. She tried to listen in on their conversations so she could prepare herself for this new "handler," but nothing they said made since to her. She couldn't help but wonder if what some code that they were giving her.

She walked around the living room area of the small apartment, a mug of hot tea in hand. She peered out of the front picture window and sipped her tea trying to calm her nerves. As she looked around outside the window, her eyes met that of a tallish woman. After a quick breath, she realized that the woman wasn't smiling at her but she looked angry.

She had been watching her for an hour. Her mark, rather her ward, was probably going to be an issue and she could tell already without having met her. She knew that this was going to be a tough assignment, but she was now realizing why everyone had warned her about Alexandra Cabot.

"How do you make it in WitSec for four years and have to move five times?" she thought to herself.

Watching her now as she stared out the window, Liv finally understood. She was going to be difficult. Anyone who was beautiful and blonde was going to be bane of her existence. Alexandra Cabot was that in spades. Liv shook her head as she walked towards the apartment building. She steeled herself, preparing to do battle with the blonde as soon as she entered apartment.

She decided that she would go in strong and hard. It was the only way that she could keep the upper hand. She read the reports. She studied them for days, trying to get into the head of the illustrious Alexandra Cabot. She was impressed with her reputation, but not her actions. She would have to remain steadfast in her approach to keep Miss Cabot in line and protected. She only hoped that Miss Cabot would agree to do things her way without too much fuss, for both their sakes.

She straightened her shoulders, stretched her neck and began the journey across the parking lot to the apartment. Alexandra was watching her the entire time. Liv imagined that her cobalt blue eyes were laser beams aimed right at her as she scowled back up at her. She was angry with her and just because she was near the window, in the full light of day, where anyone could see her, kill her. She was a sitting duck and she didn't even know it. Liv could see it on her face.

"I'll have to teach her to be a little more self-aware. This is going to be fun. Hampton is going to owe me big time for this assignment. No wonder the marshals didn't want her anymore," Liv stated to herself as she climbed the stairs leading to apartment 3304.

She stopped in front of the door and stared at it. She put her hand in her jeans pocket and felt around for the keys. As she stared at the door, she decided that she would knock. She was going to test Alexandra. She wanted to know exactly what she was up against. It was the best way, she told herself. She knocked on the apartment door and waited.

She was disappointed several minutes later when Alexandra opened the door and was face to face with her. Liv's scowl returned as Alexandra stood there in looking fabulous in faded jeans and a local university sweatshirt. She watched as Alexandra scanned her up and down, slowly, before she said anything to Olivia.

"Yes, can I help you?"

"Why did you answer the door?" Liv demanded.

"It is a social norm to answer the door when someone knocks on it," she replied.

"Not for you any more it isn't. Now, get inside. We have some things to discuss Miss Cabot before we move in the next few weeks," Liv stated pushing past her.

Liv turned around, shut the door and bolted it. She ran the security chain and then checked out the peep hole for good measure. When she turned hack around, Alexandra was standing them, hands on her hips, just watching her.

"Look, I don't know who you think you are, but you will not speak to me that way," Miss Cabot told her.

"It doesn't matter who I am, Miss Cabot. What matters right now is that you stay alive. I am here to make sure that happens. I've read your file. You are no longer under the jurisdiction of the FBI and the Marshalls. You are in mine. I don't play by the same rules. Then sooner you realize that, the sooner we will get along," Liv told her.

"You don't work for the Marshalls?"

"No, ma'am, I don't. I am not entirely sure why I was chosen for this assignment, actually your file explained a lot to me, but that isn't the point. The point of the matter is you have to stay alive. I am quite skilled in that area and I plan to deliver you to your court dates. Until then, Alexandra Cabot is dead and doesn't exist. Can you understand that?"

"I am not dumb. Yes, I understand that I will be issued a new name and identity. I just hope that this time it won't be something mundane in Podunk."

"No, it isn't."

"So, what is my cover this time? Hmm, suburbanite? Insurance salesperson?"

"Nothing so illustrious, I'm afraid," Liv told her.

"Then what?"

"It remains to be seen. I haven't been given full disclosure yet. I was asked to report to you and see if I could actually keep you alive. It seems that the Marshalls fear you have a death wish."

"I do not have a death wish."

"Then, can you explain to me why you were standing next to the window in broad daylight where anyone could see you and shoot you?"

"I like too the city. I like looking out windows. It helps me think."

"Well, you are going to have to break that habit, I'm afraid. Windows are off limits. You can't be protected through glass. I'll make sure to add to the provisions of the new safe house we will be going to, wherever it may be."

"You can do that?"

"Right now, as long as I agree to keep you alive, I can do whatever I want. Cost is not a problem with my superiors as long as you are able to testify. Look, I don't know what you got in to and I don't care. You are my newest and last assignment. Once, I deliver you back to the US Courthouse in New York, I finally get to retire."

"You aren't a Marshall. You don't work for the FBI. Who do you work for? And, retire? You can't be older than thirty-five. What are you talking about?" Alex asked her.

"My name is Olivia Benson. I work for the government. Technically, I belong to no one. I am ghost. But, we generally just call my organization the 'Company.' Like I said, this isn't a normal assignment for me. This is a little out of my comfort zone. And, thank you for the compliment. I have been doing my job for quite some time. My age is not relevant at the moment, however."

"So what is?"

"Keeping you alive, Miss Cabot."

"And, then you are going to retire?"

"If they will let me, yes, I plan on retiring. I have seen enough in my years to know that I am done. I have done what they have asked of me and then some. Your case being one of those things, but it isn't part of what I normally do."

"I take it that usually you would be the one tasked with eliminating me," Alex said.

"Usually, that would be correct, Miss Cabot, but I have many skills."


	2. Chapter 2

She looked over at Alex. She knew that this woman would probably get her killed. She figured it was a fitting end to her run. They were giving her this assignment as her "retirement." If she could survive, then she could leave without worrying about them coming after her for more.

She went back downstairs to her unmarked SUV and grabbed her two cases and a soft back pack. She went back upstairs and into the apartment. She placed the cases on the small kitchen table and threw the backpack at the couch. Alex watched her but didn't say anything. She just stood there with her arms crossed across her chest. Liv eyeballed her, but didn't say anything to her as she started going into one her cases. Alex's eyes widened when she saw the broken down rifle spaced out in the case.

"You weren't kidding, earlier, were you?" Alex asked her.

"No, I wasn't."

"You don't get out much, do you?"

"That depends on what you mean," Liv told her.

"You don't deal with people much, do you?"

"Not in the traditional sense, no. Mostly the only way I've dealt with people in the past was in eliminations. This would be a complete change for me."

"So you've never been on a protection detail?" Alex asked her.

"No, ma'am, I have not."

"Well I guess this is going to be really interesting for both of us."

Liv didn't answer her. She pulled out her scope only and grabbed a chair. She sat back a good distance from the windows and began to check for lines of sight. She grabbed a small notepad out her back pocket and began to make some notes on angles. Every now and again she would write down something at length that made Alex curious.

"What was that note, there, about?" Alex asked, breaking her concentration.

"What note?"

"The notes that you are making," Alex replied.

"I am making notes about where you could be shot from. I'll go explore those areas later to make sure that no one has set up a hide yet. Until then, I will mark areas on the floor that will be okay for you to be at. I will move the furniture accordingly."

Alex just stared at her. She couldn't believe that she was being so clinical about the situation. This was her life, didn't she understand that? Couldn't this cold assassin see that?

"You don't understand why this hard for me, do you?" Alex asked.

"It isn't my problem, Alexandra. I am here to keep you alive. I am here to protect you. I don't have to be your friend. I don't have to care about the life that you are leaving. I have to care for your safety and your well-being. I am sorry. I don't do people well."

"I can tell."

Liv ignored Alex as she continued to study everything outside the window. She could feel Alex watching her. It was a little unnerving but she had a job to do and she was going to do it. She had to keep Alex safe. She hoped that Alex wouldn't fight her once she made her a regimen to follow. She read the file on how difficult Alex had been with the other agents and agencies. She would have to lay some ground rules for her to follow.

Liv sat down again across the room on the couch and stared at the apartment's only door. Alex continued to watch her. She didn't move when Liv changed positions. She stood rigid and angry. Liv didn't seem to care. She continued with her assessment of the apartment.

"You'll be found from the couch. It is the safest place for you in the main common areas. If something does go down, it will give you the clearest points to hide or to escape. Do you understand that, Miss Cabot?"

"I do."

"Can I show you what I want you do?"

"No."

"Are you going to let me help you?"

"You are my body guard, right?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what are you?"

"I am here to make sure you stay alive. I am here to protect you. You will do what I tell you to do to accomplish this. You will not be going out in public unless it is necessary and I will tell you when it is okay to go out. I know that you might not like what it going on, but that isn't my problem. I need to coordinate our departure for a safe house outside the City. I want you to stay here and stay low. I have some things to check out. Can you do that for me?" Liv asked her.

"I don't really have a choice in the matter, do I?"

"Unless you have a death wish, no, you don't," Liv replied.

Alex walked across the room and sat down on the couch. She got next to Liv to see if she could use her close proximity to make Liv uncomfortable. Liv didn't say anything about how close she was to her. She just pointed at the door.

"That is the only entry and exit besides a window."

"I noticed."

"Then, you need to be constantly aware of how to get to it. The only problem with that is that it is the only entry and exit. That means that they first people in who might try to hurt you know that as well. They are going to try to block it. If they can't block it, they are going to try to flush you out of it. If they flush you out of it, there will be someone or something there to take you or kill you. If they try to flush you out, you need to get to a window and get out. I would suggest that one there with the fire escape," Liv told her, pointing at the window across the room.

"And, if I can't?" Alex stated.

"Then, you fight your way into the bedroom. There is a closet with an attic access. You will climb your way to the roof and hide. I will leave preparations up there for you."

"Preparations?"

"Yes, there will be a dump phone and a pistol. I'll show you how to use it later. There will be preprogrammed numbers in the phone. The first one will be for me. You will call me and I will come faster than you can imagine. The second number will be to the Marshalls. They will send a team as fast as they can, but it won't be fast enough. The third number will be the FBI. Same deal with them. The fourth number will be 9-1-1. That is your last resort. You will call us all in order. You will only tell the 9-1-1 operator what you can and never who you are. Do you understand?" Liv asked her.

"What? Wait? You aren't staying here with me?"

"Oh, I am. But, I have some things to do first. I need to know, that if I am not with you, that you can handle this. If you can't, we leave tonight. No questions asked. My priority is keeping you alive. If you can't handle this, tell me now and I'll have a car downstairs in five."

"I can handle this. How long will we be here? Can you tell me that?" Alex asked her.

"That depends on you and how hot things really are here."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Not more than an hour," Liv stated as she stood up from the couch and went back to her cases.

She replaced her notebook and her scope. She pulled out a small compact five shot pistol. It was a custom .45. She checked it and made sure that it was loaded. She walked back to the couch and handed it to Alex.

"This is for you and only if you have to use it."

"I don't like guns."

"I don't like bullets, but the people out there use them both. This is just for protection and only as a last resort. You are to run first and call me."

"I got that part."

"Good. Now, stay here and don't even think about going out. I'll be back as soon as I can. I have to check in with the local Marshalls that were in charge of you. I will find a place for us to hide where no one would think to find you. Until then, we will stay here," Liv told her.

"Fine."

"Alexandra, I know that this isn't ideal for either of us, but as long as you do as I ask, it will be an easier and quicker relationship until your court date."

Alex didn't respond. She reluctantly took the pistol from Liv and held it. Liv waited until it seemed that Alex was able to handle the weapon effectively. She gave Alex a look and went back to the cases. She locked them up and grabbed them.

"I'll be back soon. Lock the door and bolt the chain. I'll call the phone in my bag over there before I come back. No one has that number. I will call only once. I will let it ring four times and hang up. Let the phone ring. If someone leaves a voice mail, hide. If someone calls and doesn't let it ring four times, hide. Under no circumstances are you to answer that phone."

"Yes, Mistress, I understand," Alex answered her sarcastically.

Liv just rolled her eyes. She knew that Alex was going to test her, but what Alex didn't know was that Liv was about to test her. She wasn't going to speak with the Marshalls or the FBI. She had already had the only briefing that she was going to get. She and Alex were on their own. Alex didn't know that yet, but Liv knew that she would have to make her understand how venerable she really was. Alex was in for a surprise.

She didn't know that Liv was testing her. The next hour would set the tone for their unorthodox relationship. Liv knew that she would have to have Alex back in the City in six months. Alex didn't even know that much. They weren't letting her know when the case was going to trial because they knew that Alex would demand to be there for the whole trial. Liv wasn't going to let her know where they were going until they got there. She figured the less that Alex actually knew the better off she would be. No one would be able to find her, if she didn't know where she was going until she got there.

She waited outside the apartment's door until she heard Alex lock the door behind her. She started to walk away when she finally heard the chain and bolt being slid into place. She smiled as she walked down the corridor. She made sure that she counted each step. She looked at each door until she made it to the elevator.

She pushed the button to go into the parking garage. Once she was in the garage, she made her way to her unmarked SUV and put the cases back in the hatch. She sat in the driver's seat and turned on the radio. She waited a few minutes and tuned in to an AM station. She waited a few minutes and she could hear Alex moving around in her pack.

She smiled. She knew that Alex was a naturally curious person. She knew that Alex wasn't going to sit back and not give her some sort of grief about basically being under house arrest. She was a social person and in the elite circles of New York. This world, this entire operation was a completely foreign idea to her. She couldn't fathom the depths that she was about to fall into and have to learn to survive in because it meant her life.

Liv turned the radio up. She knew that the bug would only give her limited range. She pulled out of the space and started out of the garage. She would go to the building across the street. It had the best vantage point and many places on the roof for an assassin to make a hide. She was going to investigate and use it to scare Alex.

It wasn't meant to hurt her. It was meant for her to realize that Liv was there to protect her and keep her safe. She would have to do something drastic so Alex would learn to trust Liv's instincts and her knowledge.

She read the file four times before she realized why she was chosen. She pulled into a space behind the building in question. She reviewed the file once again. She shook her head and then hid the file again in the secret compartment. She got her scope and a laser pointer and made her way up to the roof. She was amazed at how easy it was for her to gain access. It was just another reason that she would move Alex.

She made her way up to the corner of the building and hunkered down. She waited. She lay there in wait, because she knew that Alex would get curious and go to the window. She was good at waiting. She knew that it wouldn't take her an hour to make the move. She might have already missed in while she was driving, but she doubted it.

As she sat in the corner of the building, with her scope in hand, she began to think about where she would take them. Money wasn't going to be a problem. She'd made sure of that. The Alphabet soup wouldn't be a problem either. She wasn't about to tell anyone where they were going or where they were once they were there. She was a lone agent with a mission. Her own handler wouldn't even know where she was. She was a government ghost. It was her job. She was good at it. She was going to make Alex a ghost, too.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught movement. She'd been surveying the rooflines and looking for other vantage points that she might have missed being in the apartment. She turned at the movement and caught Alex standing in full view of the window. She reached in her pocket and turned on the laser. She shined it right onto Alex's chest. It was only a warning, but it would serve its point.

She watched through the scope as Alex saw the red light. She backed up away from the window and ducked behind the couch. Olivia waited. She ran the laser around the room a few times just to be sure that it wasn't a fluke and Alex had really seen it. Then, her cell rang. She smiled. She turned off her laser pointer and started her way back to the SUV.

"I'm on my way," she said into the phone.

She didn't need to look at the caller ID. Only one person had that number, and it was Alex. She smiled as she made her way to the apartment. Alex could learn quickly. She actually listened to what Liv had told her. Liv thought that maybe she could get through to her now and Alex would actually do as she asked without question or reservation.

She decided that they would leave that night. She would use the dark as cover. She would slowly pack the SUV so if any of the Alphabets were watching, they would think that she was unloading and moving in. Getting Alex out tonight would test not only her abilities, but also the Alphabets determination on watching Alex. Tonight, they would learn that Liv never took a job she couldn't complete and she always did it her way. Tonight, they would become ghosts.


	3. Chapter 3

Liv didn't wait. She came used her key, but forget that she had Alex bolt the door with the chain locks too. She busted through the door and was inside the apartment before Alex could register what was going on. She crossed the room and found Alex still hiding behind the couch, pistol in hand, but trained on nothing. The fear in her eyes was apparent. Liv squatted down beside her.

"What happened?" she asked, already knowing the answer, but not betraying her self to Alex.

"There was a laser sight. I didn't know what to do. I did what you told me."

"Did you cull any of the other numbers?"

"No, just you. You answered and told me that you would be right here. I was just so scared I didn't know what to do. You said that you were coming. That was all I needed to hear," Alex told her.

"So, now, you will listen to me, because you know that I can keep you alive. That is amusing to me, Miss Cabot. You had to be threatened, again, to take this seriously. That actually disturbs me and makes me wonder about my own safety when it comes to you."

"I am sorry," Alex replied.

"For what?"

"Not listening," she told her.

"What did you do?"

"I was looking out the window."

"There is no harm in that," Liv told her, already knowing how close she was to the glass.

"I wasn't behind the line you told me to use," Alex admitted.

"Ah, so you were at the window?" Liv asked.

"Yes."

It was a simple answer, but it spoke volumes about how Alex felt now. Liv could tell that she was scared. Maybe the trick was mean, but it made Alex realize that Liv only had her safety in mind. She knew that she would fess up about it later...much later, when they weren't in the City. It gave her the resolution she was looking tor and now she would be able to get Alex to listen and follow her directions. She could only hope that her obedience would last long enough to get her to the court house.

"We need to move."

"Where?"

"I don't know. I wasn't planning on leaving the City this fast," Liv lied, but then continued with the truth. "I haven't checked in with the Alphabets and I don't have a safe house ready. If we go, we go blind and to be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way."

"We would go blind?" Alex asked.

"Yep."

"What does that entail?"

"It would mean that the Alphabets wouldn't even know where you were. I would be the only point of contact for you and they only have one number for me. They will try to track me, but they'll fail. I was given a mission und I have a tendency not to resurface until I'm ready. They know that. They also know that I don't plan on failing. So, they'll let me do things my way until you don't show up for court. Then, they'll come after my ass. Which is why you'll make the court date, once I find out when it is."

"You don't know, yet?" Alex questioned, worried about her supposed lack of information.

"I wasn't given a formal briefing, Miss Cabot. I was given a file, a name and a location. That is it."

"So, we really doing this blind, then," Alex replied.

"Yes, we are," Liv responded, happy that Alex was on board.

"What do we need to do?"

"Pack up some clothes and toiletries, take nothing that has your name on it. Alexandra Cabot no longer exists. We'll figure out a new name later. Now, we need to go."

"What about you? What should I call you? Are you going to change your name?"

"No, because according to the government, I don't exist. So, you can call me Liv or Olivia, whichever your prefer. I answer to both. If you have a name in mind, I'll make some calls and get your identity in the works. I have a few select individuals that I can trust long enough to make a new you. Are you opposed lo dying your hair?" Liv asked as she began to search through the cabinets.

"Dye my hair?"

"Yeah, ever thought about being a brunette or a red head?" Liv asked her seriously.

"No, I haven't."

"Well do, the less you look like you the better."

Alex didn't know how to reply to her comment. She stared at Liv as she continued to go through the kitchen. She hadn't notice when Liv grabbed her back pack, but she noticed that she was grabbing some of the food. Then it hit Alex like a ton of bricks. They were leaving and they were running. The gravity of the situation hit her hard. She didn't like to run. She wanted to confront the drug dealers and now her life was in danger. She had placed others in danger all because she wanted to win the case.

She shook her head, got up from the couch where she'd been placed by Liv and made her way into the back bedroom. She looked around the room for minute. Everything was falling apart around her. She wasn't prepared for this to happen. She was supposed to be the "Ice Queen DA," where had she gone so wrong with the case.

She sat down on the bed and looked at the clothes she had been given. None of them were something that she would actually wear. Half of the items she hadn't owned anything like them since she was kid. She hadn't seen a pair of jeans since college. She missed the comfort and grabbed them to take. She grabbed the tanks, camies and a few sweat shirts. She decided that comfort would override the desire to look good. She was on the run after all, practicality was more important.

She came back into the living room to find Liv waiting on her. She had a small suit case waiting on the table for her. Alex didn`t know where she procured it from and she didn't care. She put the clothes inside it and then went back for some shoes, socks and underwear. Once she was completely packed, she closed the suitcase and looked over at Liv. Liv took the suit case from her and started towards the door, expecting Alex to follow her.

"I'm ready. Let's go," Alex told her. "Oh, and by the way. You can call me Emily Paxton."

"Emily Paxton, huh? Where did that come from? Don't tell me that you have any relation to the name or anyone with those names, though," Liv told her.

"Well, I have a DA friend that has the last name Paxton," Alex replied, following Liv out of the apartment and into the hallway.

Liv turned, locked the doors, and started down the corridor to the elevators, shaking her head. She sighed. She didn't spare a glance at Alex as they entered the elevator and prepared to go to the parking garage. She knew that Alex was on autopilot now and was just blindly following her, but there was something about it that bothered her.

"You can't use Paxton, then," Liv told once they were on the elevator.

"Why not?"

"You have a personal connection. You can't use anything that has a personal connection. When someone wants you dead, they'll use everything and anything they can that is personal to get to you. I am sorry. You'll have to pick something else for a last name. Does Emily mean anything to you?"

"No, it doesn't."

`You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Okay, Emily," Liv replied.

Alex looked at her for a second before she realized what Liv was doing. She was trying to help her learn her new name. The more Liv called her Emily. The more likely she would actually use it.

"I never thanked you."

"You don't have to, Emily," Liv told her.

"I still feel like l should. I mean, you are putting your life on the line for mine. I should be able to thank you for that. I know that this is your job, but l think that I am getting a more personal touch than others would. You've even admitted that to me," Alex replied.

"I did, but that is because I have never done a protection detail. I don't exactly work well with others. You'll find that out as time goes by. I was selected because of my skill set. I was picked because you have single handedly bested the best of all the Alphabets."

"Who are the Alphabets?" Alex asked.

"The FBI, the CIA, NSA, et cetera, et cetera...I call them the Alphabets. I don't work for them. I refuse to do so. Too many politics for my taste. I like simple, cut and dry missions. I don't like to think about what I am doing. I want to get in, eliminate whoever quickly and get out. I'll admit that I was good at it. I was one of the best, but I was getting tired of it. Politics inevitably come into play with eliminations, too. I realized this the hard way and I wanted out."

"Killed someone that didn`t deserve it?"

"Oh, no, they deserved it. I just didn't like the pretext in which I was sent to do it. The person that put out the contract trumped up some charges, which in the end turned out to be true," Liv explained.

"Did it bother you?"

"At the time, yeah, after I found out it that the trumped charges were true, not so much. It was just the principle of the matter, then. I don't like being lied to about who I am supposed to kill. If they deserve it, it's one thing. I refuse to let an innocent die, if I can help it." Liv stated.

"I guess that is how you ended up with me, then," Alex said.

"It is one reason I agreed to take the mission, yes."

"And, the rest?" Alex asked.

"I'll let you know, later. Over there is my SUV. We'll take it out of the City. I am sure that they are going to try and track it. I already called for another vehicle. We'll move into it soon. Go ahead and get in. I'll just finish packing the hatch," Liv told her as she popped the hatch and the locks.

Liv knew how dangerous this mission could be for the both of them. Their lives were at stake, but she was used that being a problem. There were plenty of missions that she shouldn't have come home from, but she did. She learned not to question it, because she didn't believe in a higher power. If she did, she would question her entire life and that would be more dangerous than the position she found herself in with Alexandra Cabot.

She closed the hutch and got in the driver's seat. She started the SUV and backed out of the space. She headed for the Jersey border with no specific destination in mind. She had to get Alex out of her comfort zone and out of the City. It had been too long since Liv was Stateside and she didn't know where to go. She didn't want a major city because it would be too easy to trace. She needed somewhere backwoods and mural. It needed to be somewhere that people wouldn't question Liv when she gave them their story, once she thought one up. She decided to just drive and decide on the way.

She reasoned that she thought better on the fly anyway.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know, yet."

"Do you have an idea?"

"I have some thoughts, but I need to get an atlas."

"What about Canada?"

"I don't have jurisdiction there. If we did jump borders, then things would get really dicey. I am not taking you out of the country. I mean we could go to Alaska or Hawaii, but even that is stretching things. I don't want to give any of the Alphabets a reason to think that I've kidnapped you. I need them to believe that you went under like you were supposed to and that I have your protected," Liv stated.

"I understand."

"Listen, Alex, I know that this is going to be difficult for you. You cannot have contact with anyone back in New York. As far as they are concerned, you will die tonight. Once you are dead. The Alphabets will do what they can to protect your assets and things. After tonight, Alexandra Cabot will be dead. I am sorry. You can't even tell your mother," Liv told her.

"This will destroy her, you know," Alex said wistfully.

"Unfortunately, it can't be helped. I am sorry for that, but we can't tell her. I know that it will be hard. But, your health and welfare are more important than your mother knowing that you are actually alive. I am sorry that sounds crass, but it is the truth."

"Your mother doesn't know that you are still alive does she?"

"I don't know. I don't even know if she is still alive. It is better for me that way."

"That is a cold way to view things," Alex told her.

"It has kept me alive."

"True, but I'm sure that it is lonely."

"I've learned to deal with it."

"But, you do have friends, right?" Alex asked, noticing that they were leaving the City.

"I have people that I care for and that help me, yes. Are we friends? I cannot answer that. I have learned not to get close to people. I don't stay in one place for very long."

"But, what about me? How will you be able to deal with me? Who are the people you go to when you need something? Do they help you when you call?" Alex asked.

"Yes, they do. As for you, each day will prove to be an adventure for me. There is someone that I will take us to see first. Hopefully he will have another vehicle waiting for us. He'll take care of this one and get it back to me when we finally get somewhere more permanent."

"What is his name?"

"His name is Cole Jackson."

"Where are we meeting him?"

"Somewhere outside of Amish Country in Pennsylvania."

"Pennsylvania?"

"Yeah, he likes to stay hidden. It is better for us in our line of work. We know who we can trust and where we go when we need to hide. We have a network that even the Alphabets don't even know about. We have to find our way on our own. We have a way of dealing with each other that keeps us all alive and hidden at the same time," Liv told her.

"So, Pennsylvania, then. How long are we going to be there? Are we going to stay there?"

"We'll probably be there for a few days. It will be just long enough for me to get your new identity worked out. Have you thought about a name, yet, Emily?" Liv asked her.

"What about Emily Sullivan?"

"Sounds good. When we stop for some gas, I'll call Jackson and let him know. You will be officially Emily Sullivan as soon as we get to Jackson's farm. Get comfortable and take a nap. I'll wake you when we stop," Liv told her.


	4. Chapter 4

The drive was uneventful just as Liv had hoped. She was amazed at how quickly they had made time to Pennsylvania. It would only be an hour or so before they found themselves at Jackson's farm. Liv sat back and looked at the sky. She was still debating if she should wake Alex, but decided to wait. She looked peaceful considering the situation and Liv knew that the next few months were going to be anything but peaceful for them.

The trip down I-80 thru the main part of the state of Pennsylvania was nice. It reminded Liv of some of her more delightful missions in Europe. She shook her head and looked around. She was making sure that no one was following them. She doubted that the Alphabets even knew that they were gone, yet. She knew that she would have call in once they got to Jackson's but right now, she was just worried about getting there. She glanced at GPS and realized that they needed to take highway 310 soon to get to Jackson's farm.

It only took about thirty minutes once she got out of the town of Anita to make it to Jackson's farm. Liv still didn't know why the old man had picked Pennsylvania, but he was far enough out of civilization that no one would bother him. She wondered what Alex would think of him. He wondered what he would think of Alex and this mission.

She pulled into the drive and woke up Alex. She looked at the small two story, white clap board farm house and turned to Liv to make sure they were at the right place. Liv just smiled and got out of the SUV. She didn't wait for Alex to follow her. She knew that were safe here.

"Olivia Benson, I do declare," he said meeting them both on the porch.

"Hello, Cole," Liv replied.

"And, who do we have here?" he asked turning his attention to Alex.

She regarded the older grizzled man for a moment, before she extended her hand to him. He looked at Liv and then at Alex, before he stuck his hand out to her. She shook his hand before she said anything to him.

"Hello, Mister Jackson, I am Emily," she replied.

He laughed, a deep and good natured laugh. He held his belly while he did it. He turned back to Liv and smiled. He motioned for them to follow him inside the house. He laughed the entire way to the kitchen, where he bid them to sit down at the table, as he poured them some tea.

"Where in God's name did you find her, Liv?"

"New York," Liv replied.

He turned and stared at the blonde a little harder. There was something off about the way she was dressed. Her manners were too good to be with the likes of Benson. Something was definitely wrong with the situation in his mind, but he couldn't figure out what it was.

"You didn't tell me you were bringing friends," he stated.

"Sorry, it was a spur of the moment thing."

"Spur of the moment, huh? Guess she was the spur? What's going on here, Lieutenant?"

"Well, Sarge, she is in trouble and I've been tasked to make sure she stays safe."

"What?" he asked flatly.

"That is about what I said when I got the mission," she told him.

"Someone after her?"

"You could say that," Liv replied.

"Emily ain't her real name," he stated.

Alex looked at them. She couldn't believe that they were talking about her like she wasn't there. She couldn't believe that they were discussing her like she was some kind of black op.

"I'm right here," she piped up.

"No, you ain't. Get yourself upstairs. Take the bedroom to the left of the stairs," he instructed.

Alex looked over at Liv. She just nodded for Alex to comply. Alex opened her more to protest, but shut it just as quickly. She had agreed to listen to Liv. She made a face at her, but she left the kitchen and went upstairs.

"I cannot believe you brought her here," he told Liv once she was gone.

"I need papers."

"For who?"

"Her," Liv replied.

"You want me to get her papers?"

"Yes, Jackson, I do. I know you already got me a car in the back barn. I'm leaving the SUV here. I'll call you when I get somewhere safe. I'll expect it back and better than I left it."

"You want the usual? New paint and VIN? Anything else?"

"She's already loaded from the last mission in Kosovo. She's got plating because they thought I was going to sneak in from the north into Afghanistan. SEALs got that mission instead."

"I'll take care of her."

"I know you will, Sarge. I am counting on it. I'm going to leave my M82 here with you as well. I don't think that I am going to need it."

"You still got the Forty?"

"Yes."

"And, the rest?"

"All still your designs, all still working, and all still going with me," she told him.

"Good girl, you had me worried there for a minute. So, how in the Hell did Alphabet Soup manage to saddle you with…with…with her? What the Hell did you do, Lieutenant?"

"I asked to retire."

"She is your retirement package?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"Well, damn, I guess there could be worse things. At least she is something to look at. Do me a favor with her, though?"

"Yeah and what is that?"

"Don't fall for her. That girl has got ice on her heart and she'll just break yours, Liv. She ain't made for love. She's made to make a name for herself. That's likely what got her into this mess to begin with, ain't it?"

"It is."

"Well, shit, Lewy, where ya going go?"

"I need a map."

"You ain't decided yet."

"Like I said on the phone, I need papers and a few days to get my head together."

"You left the City without a plan?"

"It wasn't my finest hour, no. She is in danger and the Alphabets gave her to me. She is handful. She doesn't listen for her own good."

"You scared her, didn't you? You pulled Cologne on her, didn't you? That is why you were in such a hurry, isn't it?"

"I cannot say if…"

"How long did it take for her to piss you off?"

"I hadn't even met her yet."

"You set ground rules for her."

"Some."

"Do you think that she'll follow them?"

"I hope that she will. I think that she actually understand now that it isn't just her name, but her life that is on the line. She finally understands that all the Alphabets were trying to do was keep her alive. It seems like three agents lost their lives in the line of duty for her. I think she just figured that she would get a protective detail. I don't think she understood the importance of a clean break for protection. Today, she did."

"You sly dog, you did pull Cologne on her," he stated.

"I did what had to be done."

"I'll get the ol' computer fired up. I am sure that I can have your Emily up and functional by tomorrow. Do I need to make you a new identity, too?"

"Not yet. Just get me a backup, just in case we have to leave the country. I'm going to try to convince her to dye her hair again. Then, I'll sit down with one of our maps and pick a ,question us just showing up."

"I'll call Sanchez. I think that he has a place that will work for you in Illinois. You could stay there for a while. I am sure that he wouldn't mind letting you lone the place. It would be a small town outside of Chicago, but it would give you enough small town charm that you could hide her without too much question," he explained.

"That sounds ideal, plus Chicago would be right there. I could let her out once and again once she understand what to do if she feels threatened again. We would be near enough to an FBI site if I needed them," she told them.

"True. Liv, are you sure that you can handle this one? She ain't exactly the norm for you."

"Meaning that she is still breathing? I know that, Sarge. We've already discussed that is why I was chosen for this assignment. I only have to deal with her for six months. As long as I get her back to New York for her court date to testify, everything else will be okay. I can handle her for a few months. There is nothing to worry about," Liv told him.

"If you say so, Liv. But, I'm telling you that one is going to be trouble for you. And, not the kind of trouble that you know how to deal with. She might break you."

"I doubt that she'll break me."

"Ten says she will."

"Double it and you're on," Liv stated.

They slapped the table in agreement. Liv stood to go upstairs to see about Alex, but shook Cole's hand before she went upstairs. She swore that she could hear the old man chuckle as she left. She shook her head. He knew that Liv would always put the mission first, especially after the fiasco in Kiev. He knew that Liv had a penchant for blondes, but her heart had been harden to almost stone because of Kiev.

He went into his office to begin to create Emily's identity. He wished that Liv would actually tell him what happened in Kiev. He'd read the records, what parts he could get his hands on, and some of the parts he couldn't. So much of the mission had been redacted from the official record that he wasn't even sure that Liv knew the whole story and she was the one who lived it.

He sighed and turned back to the computer. The wars had changed her. The wars had changed them all. She had grown colder and more distant after that mission. He'd tried to ask her what happened, but she gave him the "company" lies. He had worried about the darkness that surrounded her, but the CO gave her another mission two weeks later. She'd been cleared for duty, but anyone in the unit could have told you that she faked her psyche screening. They all had. They knew how. It was part of their training. Liv had excelled at faking out everyone.

He wondered if she had succeeded in lying to herself. Maybe she came to believe the story that had been told to her about the mission. Maybe she really couldn't believe what had happened had actually happened. She had been really beaten up and the bombs hadn't helped her. He knew that rattled brain didn't remember things clearly from his own time in Beirut. He hoped that once Liv was free that she would find something or someone that would make her happy again. He would help her as much as he could, but she would have to help herself, too.

He would hide her if need be. She'd saved him in Iraq. Found him after the barrage in Kosovo when no one else would look for him. He owed her and he never forgot that. He got to come home and have a life, kids and the rest. He couldn't help that the PTSD drove them all away. She was the one that came when Jessa called her asking for help. She was the one who got him out of the bottle and out of D.C. She was the one who helped him move on and fight the demons that his memories conjured up. He knew all too well what their line of work did to the brain.

"Find something soon, Liv, but the Devil eats your brain, too," he said to no one as he began the faked identity of Emily. He created a Texas driver's license and birth certificate. Next, he doctored school records and even produced a University of Mississippi diploma in Liberal Arts. He decided that he would let Emily pick a field later. He would manufacture a work experience and a resume' for her. She would be a built woman.

Liv would need some things, too. But, first they would have to come up with a cover story. Developing a new background was easy, it was going to be remembering it and making a new life that was going to be the problem. That was going to be their challenge together, now.


	5. Chapter 5

She made her way upstairs. She was only slightly starting to feel guilty for what she did in New York, but she knew that Alex wouldn't cooperate if they stayed there any longer. She would apologize for her actions later. Right now, they needed to get on the same page.

Liv made her way upstairs and into the bedroom next to Alex's. She was tired, but she knew that she needed to talk to her. She dropped her bag on the bed. She pulled a small side arm out and put it in her pants at her back. It was habit and she knew it. She couldn't go anywhere without a weapon on her, even in a safe house. She dropped her leather jacket on the bed. She raked her hands through her hair and caught her reflection in the mirror over the bureau across the room.

"Stop worrying about it, Liv," she told herself. "It will all work out. Just keep her safe and retire."

She made her way down the small hallway to the room that Alex was staying in. She knocked on the door and waited. She was going to give her some privacy and some semblance of normal, well as much as she could considering their situation.

"What do you want?" Alex asked her, still drying her hair with a towel.

"I thought that we should talk."

"About what? I figured that you and the good 'Sarge' were doing a good enough job without me. Is there really something that I can help you with? I am tired and need to figure out who I am." Alex said.

"I'm sorry," Liv stated before she could stop herself.

"For what?"

"I know that this is hard for you. I know that you had to leave everything, again. I understand that you will be going somewhere you don't know, with no real friends, and no real hope of ever seeing home and knowing that you can go back to it again. I have an idea what that is like, but you have only had to start over once. It is hard becoming someone new, sometimes someone you would never be, but it is a survival skill that you are going to have to learn. You're a lawyer. You know how to lie or bend the truth enough to make people believe what you need them to believe. This is just going to be a very large and gross exercise of that ability," Liv told her.

"Way to make me feel better." Alex replied.

"I am not here to make you feel good. I am here to keep you alive. I'm just trying to make your transition to Emily Sullivan as easy as possible."

"I know that."

"Then could we cut down a little on this hostility?"

"I am not promising anything."

"We need to figure out who Emily is for you. We need to talk about that so I can let Cole know. Starting the identity on paperwork is easier than actually living it. You are going to have to do the latter, so we need to figure out who Emily Sullivan really is. Do you have any ideas?"

"I guess being a lawyer is out."

"You know that. You can't really do anything that has to do with law or courts. So what will it be? Anything else you ever wanted to be?"

"I don't know. Whatever you think is best, I guess. All I know is law," Alex told her.

"I'll talk with Cole about it later. He is better at figuring these things out. I am sure that it will end up being something purely mundane, though. Do you think that you can handle a desk job?"

"I am not really going to have any choice in the matter and you know that. I will do whatever I have to do. I am not stupid. I know that this is for my own safety. I will accept whatever job you stick me with even if I hate it," Alex answered.

"I am sorry about that. If I can come up with some sort of situation where you don't have to seem normal, I will. I don't understand normal. I've never been normal. I can only imagine what this is doing to you and for that I am sorry."

"Where are we going next?"

"I have another friend in Illinois. We will probably go there. We might turn into nomads. Would that be so bad for you? Would you be able to handle a life on the road?" Liv asked her.

"It isn't if I can handle it that should be the question. The question should be: will you be able to handle me if we are on the road together? I take it that you have never really had a partner for long in time. Are you going to be able to handle that?"

"I will be able to deal with it."

"Then I don't think that we should have too much of problem. Get some rest. I know that I keep telling you that, but eventually your mind is going to catch up with your body and when that happens, you will crash hard. I think that we are going to slay here for about u week. So, you'll have time to deal on your own. I'm going to check on getting dinner started. Get some rest. I'll come get you for dinner. Oh, and Alex," Liv told her.

"It's Emily."

"What?"

"My name is Emily, remember?" Alex asked her.

"So, it is," Liv answered, "You can go anywhere on the grounds. Take your phone, though. The farm is bigger than you think. Also, how do you feel about learning to protect yourself?"

"Meaning?"

"We'll discuss it later. I can teach you some moves. You could learn to shoot as well."

"I don`t like guns, but if you think that it is for the best."

"It isn't that I think it is for the best. You need to be able to handle yourself if we get in a situation. It is my job to make sure that doesn't happen, but I need to know that you will be able to deal with it should something arise and it is needed. I am going to protect you, Alex. I swore to that and l will do it. You might think that my methods and my rules are archaic and demeaning, but they are there to help you."

"I know that. I know that you are going to protect me. You've already proven that in bringing me here. You have done everything that you have told me that you are going to do. I believe you when you tell me that you are going to protect mc and have my well-being as your main mission. I also understand that you are to deliver me to the courthouse on time, with or without any minor scrapes or bruises."

Alex saw something in Liv's eyes, but she wasn't sure what it was. She decided not to question it, yet. There was a haunted-ness that surrounded them both and Alex wasn't in the mood to deal with it. She knew that Liv had a complicated life, how could she not with her line of work. Alex dealt with enough shit being a lawyer to know that "normal" didn't exist. All they could do was strive for it. Now, she had no "normal" to base anything on. She knew that Liv was trying to appease her and help her deal with the situation, but she doubted that even Liv knew how painful this was for her.

"Is there anything that you need?"

"To go home?"

"Is there anything that I can actually do to help you?" Liv rephrased.

"I think that you are actually doing it."

"I am not trying to be harsh with you. I hope that you know that. I am not sure that I will be overtly friendly with you, either. I not really in habit, as you know of working with someone else. I will try not to be overly demanding and rigid in my commands, but I ask that you will try to not fight me as much as possible," Liv stated.

"I understand. I will do my best, but you have to understand that I am a lawyer. Fighting back with words comes naturally for me and it will be a hard habit to break. I will do my best, though."

"That is all I can ask of you."

Liv didn`t wait for a response. She left the room. She felt like she had to get out of there.

As she made her way back downstairs and to Cole's office, she felt herself changing. She didn't know what it was about Alex, but there was something that made her want to protect her. It wasn't a feeling that Liv was happy about. She didn't want to feel responsible for anyone, but now she was. She wasn't sure how well she would survive this mission. She would find a way like she had with all the other missions that she had completed over the years. She was adaptable. It was part of the reason she was chosen and she knew it.

Her entire life had been about adaptability. The Army had trained her to adapt and overcome any obstacle that may arise in her way. She was taught not to retreat, but to fall back and find a way around if she couldn't punch right through. She feared her emotions. She knew that Cole had found her after the incident in Kiev and now she was wondering if he was right. Would Alex become her next Kiev?

She shook the thoughts from her mind. She couldn't be worrying about that. She had to make plans. She needed to call Sanchez to make sure that she could use his hideaway. They would have to find some sort of permanent arrangement. She didn't really think that being nomads would work for Alex. She knew that it was a short term fix to their situation, but they would have to find a long term place, something that would keep them both grounded in their new "normal."

She made her way into Cole's office. He was still hard at work deleting any information that pertained to Alex since they left New York. She knew that he would create a new life similar to Alex's but instead it would be Emily Sullivan's. They both knew it was because it would be easier for Alex to remember. Alex didn't have their training and the more complicated and complex the new background the harder it was going to be for her to remember. Liv hoped that it would be something that Alex could deal with, but then again, it didn't matter. Alex no longer existed. The woman upstairs was now Emily Sullivan. She didn't really have a choice in that matter. The only thing that Liv could hope for her was that the Alphabets would take care of her things.

She wondered what the cover story would be for her disappearance. She wondered how Alex will have "died" She of all people thanks to the Alphabets knew what it was like to come home after being "dead" Sometimes people were angry. Others just didn't care. They were happy that you were actually still alive. They were the ones who sought you out to bring you back into your "normal" Liv could only hope that the people that Alex had in New York could be that way for her.

"Almost done?"

"With destroying her, yes."

"What did you decide that Emily would do?" Liv asked him.

"Well, we both know that she can't work in law. That doesn't leave me with a lot of prospects for a woman of her caliber. Did you bother lo research that blue blood upstairs? Or, did you do like normal scan the folder, see the mission, and take it?"

"The latter."

"Lieutenant, you should know better than that."

"I should, but she is my retirement package. After this one, I'm done. I plan on sitting back and relaxing somewhere, not a care in the world, and not worrying about if I am going to make it out alive. She is my way out. It was all I needed to know," Liv explained.

"She is rich beyond belief, but decided to be a DA. That doesn't strike you as odd? What is it with her? There is something that you aren't telling me, isn't there?" he questioned.

"No, there isn't, really. She is just headstrong. She kept ducking her other handlers. They figured that I could scare some sense into her and she would be better off with me. The rest of the handlers had been men," Liv explained.

"Did they tell you why?"

"No."

"You didn't ask them about this at all, did you?"

"Nope," Liv said, plopping down in a chair beside him.

"Olivia, you can't keep going head first into things."

"I'm fine, Cole. She's safer with me than any of the Alphabets anyway. You can't out run a professional liar, runner, and assassin. I think that she knows this. She wasn't very happy that I showed up at the safe house apartment with my rifles and started to scope things out. I've treated her like any other mission. The only difference this time is that instead of trying to find a place to hide and acquire my target for the kill, I'm trying to make sure that no one else can do that with her. I know that I am qualified to do this. So are you, but you are already retired."

"And, I am not a lesbian guarding a lesbian blue blood lawyer from New York City."

"What are you talking about?" Liv demanded.

"What are you talking about?"

"You really didn't do any research, did you?"

"I already told you: no."

"She is one of the most eligible bachelorettes in New York City. You are going to have to hide her somewhere without a huge rich population that has been there for years. You are going to have to take her somewhere without a huge history. I don't think that you will be able to stay in Illinois that long before someone figures out whom she is." Cole told her.

"I know that. I was thinking out West somewhere. Maybe somewhere south of Tucson. I doubt that anyone would be looking for her there."

"That may be true, but stay out of the big cities. They are more likely to be crawling with someone who might be looking for her. You know how the cartels work. They have spies everywhere, looking for the next big score or the target that got away."

"I know. I look care of a lot of their 'look outs.' I know what to look for while I'm protecting her."

"Just remember to keep it professional."

"That won't be a problem for me, Sarge. I have no need for a love life. It just complicates things. I will have enough trouble dealing with just her and keeping her in line," Liv told him.

"I am sure that you will. That one looks to be a firecracker, LT. You sure you don't want me to make you some papers. I know you got money stashed from here to Switzerland and back, but don't you want something a little more local?"

"No, it is a way for them to track us. I am going to keep her off the grid as much as possible. And, that means me, too. I have to stay off the grid, too. If they figure out that I am her protection, they'll just start tracking me when they can't find her trail. For now, both of us will have to be ghosts."

"I can arrange that for you."

"I know. You are the best. That is why I came to you," Liv told him.

"You still cooking me dinner for this?"

"Yeah, Sarge, I am. Now, let me go sec what you don't have to work with. Hopefully, I can scrounge up something without having to go to the barn to kill it," she joked with him.

"I am sure that wouldn`t be a problem for someone of your training," he poked back.

She laughed as she left his office. He was right. They had both been trained on how to 'field strip' an animal in the wild to survive. It was a necessity. She knew that the long days in the field, hiding and waiting for the perfect shot were behind them, but they both knew that some habits die hard.

She made her way into his kitchen. He was well stocked, like she knew he would be. She didn't know what he wanted, but right now, she wanted a good steak and baked potato. She pulled some rib-eyes out and made a marinade. She looked out the kitchen screen door and saw his converted barrel grill. Tonight they would dine like ranchers of old and tomorrow, Emily and Liv would have to figure out their story. Tomorrow would be the beginning of her new life, a life she would have to get comfortable with.

She wondered as she prepared the marinade if she should warn Alex that she might have to return to being Emily once the trial was over. She shook her head. Alex had to know. She had to know that even if they convicted the heads of the cartels that she would still be in danger. She always would. She had a permanent target on her back. It wasn't like Liv didn't, too.

She looked out the kitchen sink window as she washed the potatoes. She watched Cole's horses as they galloped and frolicked in the pasture. She wished that she could find the peace and quiet like he did. She had done too much, seen too much, to just settle down and retire. She wanted out, but she had no idea where she was going to go. She was wanted in fifteen countries and if Interpol ever caught wind of who she really was, she would be tried and the government would disavow her to save face. She knew this. She understood it. She would be a sacrifice of one to save many. It was a common practice and common knowledge among the Alphabets.

She would become a star on the wall, a name in u book, and that was it. There would be no funeral. There would be no memorial. There would be no search and rescue mission. She would find her own way out and home or she would die. She knew that was her fate. She knew it and she accepted it.

Her mind wandered back to Alex. She hadn't asked for this. She didn't understand the complications of what her actions would do for her life. She had no idea the pain and suffering those that she knew would go through while they tried to find her. If the Alphabets did their normal fare, Alex Cabot would cease to exist. It would be up to them to establish a new identity, a new life, and a new back story. Liv decided then, that Alex wouldn't be left alone. She didn't trust the Alphabets.

She finished her prep work for the potatoes and the steaks. She washed her hands and headed back to Cole's office. He was still staring at the screen making fake diplomas and such.

"Hey, you get your grill going and I'll be back down in a few."

"Going to take a shower?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Steak and potatoes, huh?"

"Yup, that okay?" she asked.

"Sounds perfect. Go wash the memories away, LT. I'll be done with most of this by then."

"Thanks. Sarge."

"Don`t thank me yet. You'll have to help me with the Coupe if you want something to drive. Tomorrow, I'll doctor the DMV records for it. One thing at a time, but in a few days, neither of you will be you anymore, that much I promise."

She shook her head at him. He was good. He was very good. Hell, the Alphabets still didn't know where he was or who he was now. The only ones that did were people who needed to know. Liv was glad that she was still part of that company with him. He had helped her cover her ass more times than she wanted to admit. And, here he was about to do it again and also for Alex.

She ran upstairs to the bathroom. She got in the shower. She let the water carry her memories away.


	6. Chapter 6

It was late. She knew that they would start working on the vehicle in the morning. Liv wasn't surprised that Cole wanted to go to bed after dinner. She was a little surprised that Alex went to bed so soon after dinner. She figured that they could stay up and talk. When she didn't stay up with Liv, she decided that she would walk the grounds. It would allow her to clear her head and make sure that there wasn't anything that would hurt them. It was habit. She was scouting. She didn't care that she knew that Cole would have booby-traps and other devices planted around his farm to make sure that he was safe.

She grabbed her sidearm. She checked it and put it in her waistband at her back. She grabbed a few extra fully loaded clips and put them in her pockets. She put a boot knife in her boot. She didn't figure that she would need them, but she wasn't going to leave the house unprotected.

She made her way to the barn. She saw the car in question and knew that it wouldn't take them long to get it running to her specifications. She saw some other vehicles that it looked like Cole was working on. She shook her head, remembering all the times that his tinkering had saved their lives. They might not have been "approved military upgrades" but the powers that be didn't care when they came back and the mission was accomplished.

She closed up the barn and headed out into the pasture. She liked nights like this, when it was quiet and comfortable, when she didn't have a target she was seeking, when she could try to find peace in her fucked up existence. She sighed and looked around at the grass and then the few horses that she could make out in the darkness. Cole was right to settle down here. It was nice.

Liv thought about all the times that they had been in some Hell hole, knee deep in God knows what and waiting for the order to fire. It was an easy job for those who could stomach it. Those were the pie missions. The ones that sucked were the ones that they had to find the target, play along with the locals and pretend to be friendly, and then one night once the order was given end the target without a second thought. Those were the sticky ones. Sometimes you got a little too close, but then you had to do it. You had to get in close to gain their trust. She could remember too many times how it felt to bury her knife into the heart of someone and watch their lives slip away with only one word spoken in various languages over the years: "Why?"

It was a question that she couldn't really answer herself. She didn't know why she was good at it. She didn't want to exam her upbringing to decide if that is what led her to becoming an assassin for the government. She didn't want to think about the fact that she could compartmentalize the mission from her emotions and take the shot. It was a special person that could do that. Many couldn't, but she could. And, she could do it without remorse. Her mission personae and her "real-world" personae never met. They were two identities from their births. The assassin didn't cross over into Liv's daily life, much, but the parts that did would have been the same for any other combat veteran or police officer.

She always looked for a way out. She kept her back to the wall and her face to a door. She was constantly checking the room and making sure that she had an escape. If there were others with her, she made sure to keep them safe or had a plan to get them out first. She only went to certain places, places that she had already checked out. It was a constant vigil but she knew it kept her alive. She didn't want to leave anything to chance…chance meant death.

But, now, with Alex, her daily life and her assassin life were merging in a way she couldn't stop. She wasn't after a target. She was protecting one. Her motives were changing faster than she could stop them. She wasn't trying to become more civilized, Alex was making her in a way that she couldn't name, a way that she didn't know. Yes, Alex was her retirement package, her way out of the life and into a nice lounge chair on the beach in the middle of nowhere, but she wasn't a target. Liv was used to search and destroy, not search and protect, and her brain was rebelling.

She leaned against the rail and smelled the night air. It was crisp and soft. She could smell the faint hint of hay drifting on the slight breeze. It was peaceful. It was still. It was quiet. She didn't like it. She scanned the horizon and came up with nothing. She had an eerie feeling creeping over her. Could Alex really be her retirement?

Her mind began to wander through her past assignments. She was looking to see if she could really be on her own and not waiting for the next mission. Could she live on her own? Could she handle the real world without thinking that everyone was out to get her? She didn't know. She wondered if that was why they gave her this assignment. She would have to live with Alex for around six months before returning her to New York. Was it a test?

She thought back to Kiev. She thought it had all been a test in the end, a cruel and unforgiving test. So much of the mission had been redacted from the "official" record that she wasn't sure what she remembered when she woke up in Ramstein was the truth or her minds way of dealing with the shit she had been through. The Ukraine was a long time ago and miles away, but it never left her head.

She ran her hands up and down her arms. Her palm came to rest on the scars of the bullet holes in her right arm. It had taken six weeks for her to be able to hold her side arm again. Another six weeks to shoot it fully loaded and hit her target with all ten rounds. She cursed her time in Ramstein and then in Lakenheath still recovering. It was two years before they put her back in operation. Two fucking years of bouncing around from base to base in strategic places, waiting to see if they would use her. It was pure Hell for her mind. She didn't care that her body wouldn't let her fight as soon as she wanted. She didn't need to fight. She needed a scope and a target. She was looking for the pink mist.

Maybe it was those two years that broke her psyche a little. She was still reeling over the memories of Kiev. She blamed herself for getting too close. She didn't know that she was being played, or she just didn't want to see it. She couldn't believe that another operative had sold her out to the mark she had fallen for, the mark she was using to get to her father, the mark that shot her after Liv had completed her mission.

In Guam, they had finally cleared her. She was in the Pacific staring at the ocean when Cole came to her with orders. She was sure that he was handing her discharge papers. She stared at them for hours reading and rereading what they said. She was to report of Norfolk for some new combat gear and some training with the SEALs and some Marines before they headed into Afghanistan. She was gearing up to go. She felt like the world made sense again. And, for a while, it did. Then she got the orders from the Alphabets. They needed her to "tactfully" take care of an issue in Middle East.

That was four years ago and she hadn't looked back. Now, she was their go-to. She got to see more of the world than she had as a sniper, but she wasn't supposed to be a sniper. She was a pilot program and according to the Armed Forces, her unit didn't exist. She had a chest full of medals that were awarded, but none of the commendations mentioned the truth as to where or how. She didn't care. She was protecting the government and the land that she loved.

Time was a bitch and it had finally caught up with her. She was nearing forty-five and new that the younger ones would be getting all the best missions. She would be used only if necessary. She was training the next generation in tactical operations that she had done for twenty plus years. She was ready to live. She was looking forward to a beach and a beer. Then Alex fell into her lap. She was chosen because she was seen as the only answer to the problem.

By why me? She asked herself every hour that she had been with Alex. It wasn't until she was in that pasture that it made sense. Cole had hit the nail on the head. She was a lesbian. She hadn't hid that fact during her time with the military. They had purposefully used that for their own gain. No, they knew it and they knew it well. It was why she was sent to the Ukraine to begin with. They knew that Sergei's daughter had spent a lot of time in Berlin. She was known to frequent the "Love Parades." And, she was their way to Sergei.

If Alex was taking on the entirety of the Southern Colombian drug lords, what purpose would Liv have to protect her. Yes, she was one of the best assassins. Yes, she could spot a hide or potential hide at greater than five hundred feet. She had a better chance of keeping Alex alive than most of the agents that worked for the Alphabets. Liv just couldn't figure their angle. What was it about Alex that they wanted to control?

Liv knew that she should head to bed. It was late and the walk had done nothing for her. She was happy with Cole's protection devices and knew that they would have ample time if one were to go off in the middle of the night. He had already clued her into his escape routes and the escape tunnels that he had been digging. She knew that no one knew about those and she would use them to get out if something did happen.

She was making her way back to the house when she saw something on the back porch. She immediately drew her pistol. She was about to take aim when she saw her blond hair billowing in the breeze. Liv was taken with the picture that Alex was making on the porch. She looked like an angel. She replaced her sidearm and made her way back to the porch.

"You shouldn't be out here like that," Liv stated as she approached.

"I needed the air."

"I understand that, but you have no protection. I could have shot you. Anyone could have shot you. Do you understand that? You are a target. There is a big fucking bull's eye on you."

"I know that," Alex answered.

"Then why are you out here?"

"Because even Bull's eyes need to breathe," she replied.

Liv stopped. She couldn't argue with her logic. Alex had been locked up and with an agent for so long that she had forgotten what freedom really was. Liv understood that. She could sympathize with her.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?'

"All of this," Liv stated.

"You didn't do this. I did. I created my own Hell and now I have to live in it."

"But, Alex, I …"

"Did you go after Zapata? No, you didn't. Did you go after the cartels? Well, maybe you did, but not like I did. I didn't back down. I refused to plead them out. I wanted to try them for everything and make it all stick. I wanted them to rot in prison. You didn't push them into putting that target on me. I did that," Alex explained.

"That may be true, but I did bring you here."

"You are doing your job, Liv. Never apologize to me for that. You are keeping my safe."

"You shouldn't be outside…alone."

"Then, keep me company."

Liv swallowed. She didn't know what to do. She hadn't had a meaningful interaction with anyone but her men in so long that she was afraid of Alex. She, who wasn't afraid of anything and could fight the worst evils in the world, was being frightened by her mark.

"Alex, I need to go to bed. You should, too. We have a busy schedule to keep."

"Where are we going?" Alex asked staring off into nothing.

"Illinois?"

"The land of Lincoln, interesting."

"Is there somewhere else you prefer?"

"Plenty of places, but I would be known there. So, I guess not. Your choices make more sense, now. Even if I was Emily, I would still need to stay away from those places, you know?"

"I understand better than you think I do."

"I don't doubt that."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you like to talk in your sleep," Alex stated.

"Meaning what?"

"I don't know what happened, but even I know enough Russian to understand what _nyet_ means."

"I do not talk in my sleep."

"Sure you don't," Alex said, heading back into the house.

Liv stood there. _Shit, she knows,_ was all she could think. What would Alex do when she found out what happened in Kiev? Cole only knew parts of it. Hell, she didn't want to go back down that road. It was too painful and she didn't want to relive it. She grabbed her arm instinctually. It was going to be a long night and Liv was probably not going to get any sleep, now.


	7. Chapter 7

Liv woke in the early morning and stared out the window. There was always something peaceful about that time of day that actually calmed her warrior heart. She couldn't name, but she looked for it every morning. And, like clockwork, she arose at the same time every morning to greet it.

She put on a pair of form fitting jeans and t-shirt. She left her shoes and socks beside the bed. She reached over and grabbed her sidearm, placing it in the small of her back, foregoing a holster. She ran her fingers through her hair quick and went downstairs.

She found that Cole had already been up and made coffee. She poured herself a cup as she looked out the kitchen sink window. She could see Cole tending the horses. She slowly drank her coffee and thought about the night before.

Her thoughts about what Alex had said still bothered her. She had slept fitfully, but she couldn't believe that she spoke in her sleep. Kiev would always plague her, she knew that, but she had hoped that she could spare others from knowing what really happened. She'd lost focus with that job. She knew it. The Alphabets knew it. Hell, Cole probably knew it. But, for all of the knowledge, no one ever challenged her on it until Alex, and Alex didn't know.

She sipped her coffee some more and realized that she had finished the cup. She reached over for the carafe and poured some more. She took a sip and held it in her mouth for a few seconds before swallowing. She shook her head as she finished the second cup. She put the used mug in the sink with some water to keep it from staining and the looked back out the window.

She was looking for Cole again. She couldn't see him anymore. She moved around to see if she could see him from the house. When she couldn't find him, she went out on to the porch to see if she could find him better. Her hand immediately went to her back as she walked outside.

Cole came out of the barn and waved at her. She felt her body relax when she saw him. She could him smiling at her from her vantage point, but she couldn't tell if he was smiling because she was there or because he was with his horses. She waved back at him.

She decided that she would enjoy the slight country air. She found a rocker on the porch and sat down. She let the calm of the early morning fill her and she closed her eyes.

"Do you always do that in the morning?"

Liv's entire body jerked forward out of the chair and onto her feet. She immediately began scanning the area, as her right hand found its way to the small of her back and her sidearm, and found a stunned Alex looking at her with a cocked eyebrow. She let go of her side arm and rocked forward on her toes to try to alleviate some of her bodily tension from Alex's surprise greeting. It didn't work. Alex saw it and only scowled before going back into the house.

She realized that her quick movements had upset Alex. She couldn't help that she was on edge. She didn't know who or what was working for the cartels and was after Alex. She was always studying everything and everyone. She hadn't meant to upset Alex, but it couldn't be helped. She could only hope that once she talked with Alex that she would understand.

Liv went back into the house. She found Alex sitting at the rustic wooden table sipping coffee. She grabbed her coffee cup out of the sink and refilled it. She decided that she would join Alex at the table. Alex just eyed her as she sat down across the table from her.

"What?" Alex asked as she sat down.

"I'm sorry for what happened."

"I don't know why I was surprised. I thought I was high strung. You take it to a whole other level. When was the last time you relax, Liv?"

"I don't know. I have been on a job for most of my adult life. And, my home life before I joined the military and the Alphabets wasn't exactly something that anyone needs to know about. I have always been on edge. I am sorry if I scared you," Liv stated.

"It's fine."

"Anyway, I'm sorry," Liv offered again as she drank some of her coffee.

"So, you told me that we would be leaving in a few days. What can I do while I am here? Is there anything?" Alex questioned.

Liv sat her cup down and looked at her. She could see the defiance in her sapphire eyes. Alex needed an outlet and she knew it.

"We could go for a horseback ride," Liv suggested.

"Will you be armed?"

"Of course," Liv answered.

"Are you always armed?"

"In one manner or another, yes."

"I guess I should be grateful," Alex mused.

"Only if I ever have to use them to protect you."

"Are you always so…cold and aloof?"

"I find that I stay alive better that way. You already know that I haven't much contact with the world that you know. I am sorry. I am trying, but some things take time."

"Want to tell me what your dreams are about?"

"No."

"Well tell me what ' _Nyet, nyet, pozhaluysta, nyet ... prosti menya ... Ya dolzhen byl ... prosti menya_ ' means, then," Alex demanded.

"It doesn't matter."

"Obviously it does. I have heard you scream that out twice, now. I know that ' _nyet'_ means 'no.' Just tell me what it means and I'll drop it," Alex stated.

"No, you won't and we both know it. You are a bulldog lawyer. I've read your dossier, Miss Cabot. You have done well for yourself in short time. I am wondering though at one thing."

"Yeah, and what is that?"

"How did an ivy league lawyer such as yourself, who could have any firm eating out of your hand due to your family's political associations and wealth, end up at a low paying, highly non-gratifying job as an assistant district attorney for the City of New York?"

"I wanted to change the world," Alex replied.

"Well, I see you have," Liv responded.

Her statement wasn't sarcasm but a mere statement. She could read how much her statement got to Alex's ego. She wasn't trying to hurt her. She was just making a point.

"I am sure that you believe that you have as well," Alex stated.

"I wouldn't say that I changed the world. I would say that I kept the status quo. I did what was asked of me because I was good at it. I was taught to kill and I am good at it. Do I think that I have personally changed the world? No, I don't. I have only done what I have done to protect us all and keep this country free. Am I proud of what I've done? Sometimes, yes, but mostly, no. Do I think that I have done things that were necessary? Yes, and I would do them again."

"Well said, soldier," Alex mused.

"And, you, Counselor, what have you done?"

"I've taking down kiddie porn rings, some with international ties. I work for the betterment of all sexual abuse victims and I have the highest conviction rate for my case load. I am trying to save as many people as I can, one conviction at a time."

"We aren't that different, you and I," Liv stated.

"How do you mean?"

"You put the scum of the Earth behind bars for their crimes. I put them down for their treachery and terrorism. We do the same job in different ways," Liv replied.

"I don't think that you can equate them."

"I already did."

Liv drank her coffee and watched the blonde as she thought about her statements. She didn't know what it was about Alex that made her act the way she did. She knew that she was going to be confrontational just because it was her nature, but Liv didn't expect to be the one that was starting the frays. She was more passive than anyone gave her credit for, but Alex just…she didn't know what. Alex was going to prove to be a challenge for her.

"Look, I want to get along with you. I know that we have conflicting world views based on our upbringings and our jobs. We will more than likely disagree more than we agree. I want to keep you safe and I know that you want to live. We will have to work together. I know that you don't like my rules or my commands, but you do understand that they are for your protection, right?"

"I do."

"I will work on my interaction skills."

"I've noticed."

"I need to go help Cole with our new vehicle. Please keep yourself near the barn or the house. If you need me or something happens, scream, call me on your phone, but make sure that you do everything in your power to get my attention. Can you do that?"

"I believe that I can."

"Good. I think that Cole left your new life on the coffee table in the living room. You might want to start studying it. I am not going to quiz you today about it, but the sooner you learn it, the sooner we might leave. It will also mean that you will be her until…whenever."

"I understand."

"I hope so. I truly hope so. Just remember that there is no dry run on this. We are live now."

"I am fully aware of that."

"I am sorry."

"For what, now?"

"That is has come to this. Hopefully we can go somewhere and you can have a semi-normal kind of life. I will do what I can for you, Alex, but everything that I do is for your protection."

"I know that," Alex replied, taking another sip of her coffee.

Alex watched her caramel colored eyes for a moment. She actually believed that Liv was sorry for the situation. She knew that she had gotten herself into this mess, but the fact that Liv cared how she felt made her…happy to a degree. She knew that Liv was just a hired mercenary basically and the only one that the "Alphabets," as she called them, that would agree to care for her. Alex didn't like that. She was independent and strong. She could care for herself, but Liv had proven that she didn't know anything outside her social circles or New York.

Life was different here. It moved at its own pace. It didn't care who you were, but only who you are. She knew that Liv was trying to the beauty of the world around her after she had spent so much time in darkness. She didn't mean to push Liv's buttons, but she found it easy. She actually liked the way that Liv sparred with her, the way she reacted to her questions and her eager defiance. It kept things interesting with just a hint of danger.

Danger was already what she was in, but with Liv, there was something else. Beneath the icy exterior there beat a warm and live heart that was searching for a peace that it had never known. She saw how Liv's eyes looked for peace in everything. She heard how Liv wanted peace even during their stupid spats. She was looking for calm.

Alex thought that calm was a blissful state of mind. She didn't know what calm was any more than Liv did. She was always going a fast pace in New York. She liked it, but being in the country, even it was Pennsylvania, was relaxing. She had found a calm she had never known in the SUV ride out of New York. She couldn't believe how over the last year, in all the upheaval of her life, the continuance armed guards from various factions of the Alphabets, how a quiet moment of peace actually meant something to her.

She could relate on that factor with Liv. There was also something dark behind those caramel colored eyes that Alex couldn't understand. A darkness that Liv kept at bay and she hoped that would never have to see, like a chained beast waiting for you to get too close so it could strike. She could only wonder what would happen if that beast was unleashed and she wasn't sure that she really wanted to know that much either.

For some reason, Alex wanted to help her find her calm. She found that even though she wanted to rebel against Liv's orders, she realized that they were for her protection and that she should obey them. It wasn't the rules that she was rebelling against, but more just the fact that Liv was there and the tone that she used to tell her what to do. But, now, even that had changed.

They were only a few days out of the City and Liv had, dare she say it, relaxed. The only time she saw Liv tense completely was when she was caught off guard, like early on the porch or in her dreams. Alex didn't know a lot of Russian, but she knew enough to know it when she heard it. She didn't know what happened in Liv's past, but it has something to do with Russia or one of its former states turned countries. She figured as soon as she was allowed to check the computer she would translate the phrase that Liv kept muttering in her sleep. She knew that she couldn't ask Cole, because he would never betray Liv's trust. No, she would wait and she would remember ever word until she could translate it herself. Then, she would find a way to stop Liv's nightmares. It would be the friendly thing to do and it would be a way that she could repay her for being her guardian and protector.

Alex smiled at Liv over her coffee cup. Liv just arched an eyebrow before getting up and returning her mug to the sink, filling it with water again. She felt Liv leave the house.

"Yes, I will figure out your secrets, Olivia Benson. I will find your demons. And, I will fight them, because it is what I do. You kill your demons. I lock them away. Maybe, we are more alike than we care to admit. We are demon hunters, but who fights your demons, Liv?"


	8. Chapter 8

Liv was in the barn with Cole working on the car. She was sitting down beside him, while he was underneath it barking out orders for tools or parts. She smiled. She knew that he was happy here. She could be happy here with him. They had nothing left of their old lives but each other. Alex was her last mission and one that she meant to keep alive.

"You called in, yet?" he asked bringing her back to the here and now.

"Nope."

"You plan on doing that soon?"

"I guess I should."

"They have triangulated you yet, have they?"

"How could they? They don't know this number. And, besides, I am not that stupid. I left all identifying devices in that rat hole apartment when we fled. They have no way of tracking me. Once I call in, they will. I'll need to go to town and get a new card. I'll call and then destroy it. If they decide to follow it, they'll only find a broken SIM card. That way I can keep them away from you. I don't want to bring you any further in to this then I already have," Liv told him.

"That might be difficult. They will know my signature on your papers. They will know that I helped you. I am sure that I am on some watch list. I sure that they know we survived together. They have probably already moved a satellite to look down on the farm. I've already taken care of your SUV. They won't be able to track you by that or find it. It has…disappeared."

"But, what about you?"

"What about me? They aren't going to come after me. They are looking for you and Alex. If they do come here, they will only find out that you stayed her long enough to get gear and move on. I have no idea where you are going. You might have mentioned Chicago or wasn't it Charlotte? That'll keep them guessing. Besides it will be fun to play with them, again," Cole stated with a mischievous grin as he pushed himself out from under the car. "She's ready for you. You wanna take her to town?"

"Not yet, maybe later. I need to go talk to Alex. I hope that she is ready to move. Once I know that she is ready, then I'll call in. I give them an approximate location. That should be enough for them. They gave her to me to keep alive. I can't trust them and they know that. As long as I call in now and again, we should be good. Right?" Liv asked him.

"I have no idea," Cole told her.

"I thought as much. I guess I should let them know that she is still alive and well. They picked me for this assignment. They should have known what type of detail she was going to get."

"They should have but that doesn't mean that the suits aren't freaking out right now because they don't know exactly where she is and that she is still breathing. They might think that you have abducted her because you have falling in with the cartels. Who knows what those damn bureaucrats think? I sure as hell don't. Never did and never will. That is why I quit working for them. Never understood their mentality, it never made sense. You want to train me to kill. You unleash me in Hell holes all over the world to take care of 'problems,' but then when I begin to question why other 'problems' aren't being dealt with, I am told to learn my place. I did. I left."

"I know how you feel."

"Your shoulder still bother you?" he asked as she shrugged it like she was stretching it.

"Not as much, it is still a bitch in the cold though," Liv answered.

"I am sure."

"Cole, why are you so worried about me? Why now? Why not after…?"

"Girl, if you even dare finish that sentence, I'll call the Alphabets for you. I'll tell them exactly where you are. Don't doubt me on that. You know that I'll do it."

"I do."

"Then why the Hell would you ask me that question?"

"I…"

"Don't answer that, Lieutenant. It was rhetorical. You were my commanding officer. You saved my butt more time than I care to admit. You did your job well and kept your men alive. When we found out what happened with you in Kiev, I demanded to be at your side. I wasn't going to let you go through that alone."

"I …"

"Don't remember any of it. They kept you in a coma for a while because of the swelling. I flew with you back to Ramstein and then back to the Stated. I came to the hospital one day to check on you. They told me that you were awake and yelling in Russian. I knew then, that you didn't remember. I knew that you'd be pissed that I brought you home. I made sure that you were going to make a full recovery and I left. I had been giving new orders. I flew out that afternoon. I never had time to explain anything to you, Girlie."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"When was I going to do that? You pushed yourself through therapy and were back in the field before I knew it. You kept moving bases when they told you to wait. I knew what you were doing, but I didn't know how you would react to me."

"Sarge…"

"You're like a daughter to me, Girlie. Why do you think that I would let you come here with her, no questions asked? You called. I started working my magic. I'll help you as much as I can, Lieutenant. You should know that by now. We all will. You brought us all home. No matter where, or how deep we were, you brought us all home, even if you had to come get us. Don't think that we don't remember the shit in Colombia. It went bad fast, but you came out of nowhere and brought us home. We'll help you. You just have to ask."

"I already did."

"I know that, but I am talking about in the future. You don't have to wait to come visit. I am not really hiding, but then again, I not really broadcasting where I am either. It'll be okay."

"I hope so."

"Don't hope, Liv. You have to know. You need to believe that this is going to work or you aren't just putting your life in danger protecting her. You will be endangering hers, too."

"I know that, Sarge."

"Then, wake the fuck up and realize that you don't have to do this alone. I know that you don't want to stay here, right now. I understand it. I know that you don't want to deal with the suits, either. And, given the situation that makes perfect sense. But, you still have to deal with your own demons and protect that girl. She is your responsibility, now. You can't walk away from it and you know it. You've already gotten yourself in too deep with her."

"What the Hell are you talking about?"

"Come on, Lieutenant. I've seen the way you look at her. I've seen the way she looks at you. You are good for each other. You complement each other…well. That might help you while you hiding out in plain sight. Use that to your advantage. You'll be amazed at how quickly things will become easier for you both. Trust me on that one," Cole told, sliding back under the car.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Darling, if you can't see that woman has eyes for you, then you're blind."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Nope, she likes you, more than you know. And, there is nothing wrong with that. It will make things easier as you move on. I know that you deceived her to get her this far. Tell her why. I am sure that she'll understand. Besides, she likes you. You are a puzzle that she wants to solve. You know you could be nicer to some people; you might be surprised what happens when you do. I am just saying. Now, get. I got to finish these repairs. I'll have her ready ready for you in the morning," he told her and then added, " And, don't forget to sleep tonight."

"What you spouting off about now, Old Man?"

"Don't think that I don't know about your late night patrols of my farm. I promise you that you'll know if someone comes on my land without being invited. I have enough fun out there to light up a small country. I think the suits know it, too, and that is why they have left me alone."

"You're crazy, Cole, plum crazy."

"That may be true, Girlie, but it has kept me alive more than once."

Liv laughed. She knew that he was right. She did need to sleep more and trust his "alarm" systems. She knew that they were safer there than the gold was at Fort Knox. Cole didn't play when it came to protection. According to him, there was never enough.

She decided that it was time to go make dinner. She made her way back to the house. She rooted around in the kitchen and found some chicken. She sat in the sink to thaw. She knew that Cole didn't expect her to cook, but it was the least that she could do since he was taking care of them and giving them a roof over their heads.

She made some coffee and poured herself a cup. She took the mug with her as she went back outside to sit on the porch. It was early fall and the weather was perfect for sitting outside. She missed being able just relax and feel…nothing. It was a glorious thing. She couldn't wait until she could feel that again. She sighed and took another drink of her coffee. Her mind never stopped. It couldn't. She was always planning for something, anything…the what if's. It was why she was so damn good at her job and she knew it. Sometimes she wished that she could turn it off. She took another sip and then just held the coffee cup under her noise smelling the rich aroma. She let it permeate into her senses. And, then Alex popped into her mind.

"Damn it, Old Man, we don't have time for this," she told no one.

She finished her coffee and went back inside the house. She found Alex sitting in the living room with her new identity, studying it and becoming Emily. She saw the cup of coffee in her hands and realized that she must have smelt the fresh batch and got some.

"I'm going to town."

"Need company?" Alex asked her.

"Not really. I have to go make a phone call. I'll be back after a while. Don't go outside. And, if stuff starts exploding, get in the hidden cellar below the house. The door is hidden in the back of the closet there," Liv told her pointing. "All you have to do is open one then the other. Lock the inner door behind yourself. I'll get to you another way if I have to. Nothing should happen, but know that it is there if need it. Cole is outside working on our car. Need anything?"

Alex looked at her blankly. She couldn't believe how quickly Liv could flip from caring to the hard-nosed bitch she met in New York. She met the dangerous dark chocolate brown eyes with her own and held them in a gaze. She could tell that Liv didn't like it, but she didn't stop.

"No."

"Alright, well, we'll be having chicken for dinner. I'll make something when I get back. I might stop by the grocery while I am out. I'll see about getting you a bottle of wine worthy of you pallet. I am not promising anything. Just so you know," Liv told her.

"Dooley noted, Liv. Be careful. And, I'll be here waiting on you when you get back."

Liv just nodded as she walked back into the kitchen. She grabbed a set of keys off the hook and walked to an old CJ-7 Jeep. She started it up and was driving away before Cole knew what was going on. He saw her driving off as he came out of the barn and walked to house.

He made his way into the kitchen and was thankful for Liv making new coffee. He didn't know who taught her how to make it but hers was always the best brewed no matter the price or type. She knew how to make one helluva cup of coffee. He downed it quickly, rinsed his cup and then his hands. He shook his head at the chicken in the sink. He knew that she was already preparing dinner in her mind, happy that it was something they didn't have to catch and clean before they cooked it. He shook his head and started to make his way to his shower. He stunk and he wanted to be showered before Liv made it back from town.

"Cole?"

"Yeah, Emily?" he asked, using her "new" name.

"What does ' _Nyet, nyet, pozhaluysta, nyet ... prosti menya ... Ya dolzhen byl ... prosti menya_ ' mean? I keep hearing Liv say it in her sleep, when she does sleep. I know it is Russian, but I can't find a translation of it. Can you tell me what it means?"

Cole stood there, wishing he hadn't given up drinking. He could use a good whiskey now. He stared at the woman. She knew more than she thought, but still not enough to understand. He shook his head. He shouldn't be the one who told Alex the truth, especially about Kiev.

"Nope, sorry, I don't speak any of the Slavic languages," he lied. "Why don't you ask Liv? I know that she did a stint in the Ukraine, years ago, after the Fall of Communist Russia. That woman took to languages like a fish to water. She can get by in most countries 'cause of it."

"I already tried asking her."

"Ah," he stated, "Well, I'm going to get the shower. Sorry, I couldn't help you. You'll figure it out though. I hear you are a really smart girl."

He walked off, knowing he just dodged one bullet. He knew that Liv might shoot him herself when she got home if she found out that he spoke anything about Kiev to her. But, there was no way that Liv could be objective with Alex until she let Alex come to terms with who her protector really was. He knew that Alex thought she had an idea, but she really didn't know a damn thing about the dark haired woman that whisked her away from her life as she knew it.

"This is going to get interesting," he said shutting his door

"The Ukraine, huh? Maybe it is Ukrainian then. Wouldn't hurt to look?"

She opened the laptop that Cole had given her. She pulled up Google translator and typed out the words the best that she could. She knew that they weren't in Cyrillic but hopefully it would work. Her eyes got wide as she read the translation off the screen.

"No, no, please, no…I'm sorry…I had to…I'm sorry."

She turned her head to the door, knowing that Liv wasn't there. What the hell could it mean? Why would she be apologizing to someone in a Russian dialect? It didn't make any sense. She was a trained killer. It was her job. Why would she apologize for it?


	9. Chapter 9

Alex came down first in the morning. She went into the kitchen and started the coffee maker. She knew how both of them lived off the caffeinate drink. They drank more than she did and she didn't think that it was possible. She turned to the fridge and raided it, unsure of what she would find. She knew that Olivia had surprised her with her culinary skills the last few days that they had been there. She figured that it was time that she reciprocated the gesture.

As she rummaged through the fridge, bent in half, Cole made his way into the kitchen. He poured himself a cup and studied Alex's ass. He shook his head as he realized that Liv was going to be a goner once she realized what she had in the woman bent over before him. He wanted to say something to her, but he realized that it would be worse for her to find him in the position she was already in. He refilled his cup and cleared his throat.

Alex hit her head on the fridge as she backed out of it. When she turned around to find the older gentleman standing there, smiling, with his customary cup of coffee in hand, she was holding some eggs and a pack of bacon. She returned his smile as she headed towards the stove.

"Do you have milk?"

"I'll get it for you," he told her as he went into the fridge.

"Thanks, Cole. I mean that. It means a lot to me that you have opened your house to me. I know that it can't be easy for you to trust people. But, believe me when I tell you that I won't forget this, but I won't tell anyone that you helped me, either. I know what it means to lose your privacy. This has given me a new appreciation for it," Alex told him.

"No problem, Kiddo. Just remember that you are Emily, now, and we'll call it even. I don't want to have to make you another identity so quickly. Then, my work would be traceable. But, if for some reason you did need new ones, I am sure that Liv would find someone else to do it. She is a smart cookie. She'll take care of you."

"I've noticed," Alex replied.

"Have you, now? Want to tell me what you meant by that? She say something to you?"

"No, nothing like that. It is the way she acts around me. Like I am so delicate that I might break, she seems afraid of me. I don't understand why though. She was so hard and difficult when we first met a few days ago. I don't understand what's changed. It is like she is two different people. Does that make sense?" she asked him as she moved around his kitchen orienting herself to it and locating some other things that she needed to make breakfast.

"I do and yes, it does."

"So, it isn't just me?"

"No, Emily, it isn't. Liv is a very private person. She has done her job for so long and pushed away people that it take a while for people to understand that she is really human underneath it all. I think it is the same thing for her. I will tell you that you are the first mark that she has been assigned to that she hasn't killed. That in itself is complicated for her. She has been trained to kill. She is good at it. She is actually one of the best. That is why she is so quiet."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Alex asked as she grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and broke some eggs into it. She quickly started whisking them with a fork before taking the milk from him and adding a splash to it. She continued to stir it. "I hope that scrambled eggs are okay. I never really mastered any other way of cooking them, because I love them this way."

"It's fine, Girlie. I'll eat them anyway you make them. I am not that picky."

"You're sure?"

"Yup, I am sure," he replied, turning around to pour himself another cup of coffee.

"If you don't slow down, I am going to have to make more," Alex teased him.

"Well, I'll make it. Don't worry yourself too much about it. If I don't make more, I am sure that Olivia will as soon as she gets up. Speaking of which, I am surprised that she hasn't come down, yet. It isn't like her to sleep in so late," Cole replied.

"I think she has a rough night, again."

"Again?"

"I asked you about it last night before we both went to bed, remember?"

"You did?"

"I asked what the phrase meant in Russian. I knew what 'no' was, but I had to look up the rest. You told me that you didn't know what it meant, so I used a translator to find out. She was apologizing to someone in her sleep. It was very disturbing. She doesn't seem like the type of person who would need to apologize to anyone. She seems like she wouldn't care. She would just move on and keep going. She doesn't seem to let anything really faze her. She seems very head-strong and self-sufficient. I just can't imagine a situation that she would find herself in that she would need to be sorry for something she'd done. And, it seemed like she it was something that she had to do while she was on an assignment," Alex explained.

"It was."

"Excuse me?" Alex asked as she poured her egg mixture in a frying pan.

"I know what happened."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do."

"Can you tell me?"

"No, I can't."

"It was something bad, wasn't it?" Alex asked him.

"It was."

"It hardened her, didn't it?"

"It made her…more resolute, yes."

Alex pushed the eggs around in the skillet. She thought about what Cole had said. He was trying to protect Liv and still keep her confidence. He knew that Alex would dig and if she could get her hands on it, she would. What he didn't know was that he told her enough in that brief interaction not to dig. She would wait for Liv to tell her.

"She doesn't talk about it, does she?"

"No."

"It broke her a little, didn't it?"

"Assignments like that one break all of us eventually, but that one almost killed her."

"Almost killed her?"

"Yeah, she almost died, but in her mind, it would have been worth it."

"Why do you say that?" Alex asked him, grabbing another skillet and setting it on the stove.

She gave the eggs a gentle push around their skillet. She reached across the stove and turned on the other eye. She grabbed the bacon and started placing it into the new skillet. She gave it a push with some tongs that she had found in a side drawer. She watched his face as she continued to cook. She dug around the cabinets and found some other ingredients. She grabbed another bowl and set to mixing up something else.

"That is how her mind works. She doesn't care how the mission gets accomplished as long as it happens. She found her mark on that one. She did what she had to do to get close enough to him to get more intel on his operation before she was given the execution order. Those are always the hardest mission to do. She tried to detach herself from the situation, but she had gotten too deep. It was hard for her to break free. And, in the end, she was shot several times trying to get away. They found her and they knew that she was the assassin who killed their…leader."

"So, they took their pain out on her?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes, they did. When our operatives found her, she had almost bled out. She had been shot thirty times. Her body was broken, but her mind wasn't…yet."

"Rehab broke her, didn't it?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes. Her body healed quickly, almost inhumanly fast. But, that is just Liv for you. She isn't going to stay down. She was then released, but the brass didn't think that she was ready for duty. Don't get me wrong. She lied her way through the psych evals. We all did. We learned how to tell them what they wanted to hear. Sometimes the only way we found peace was behind the crosshairs, looking for the pink mist," Cole told her.

"Pink mist?"

"Please don't make me explain that to you. It should be self-explanatory. What are those?" he asked her trying to change the subject.

"I was planning on making some muffins. I found some fruit in the fridge. Is that okay?"

"Sounds great, I haven't had a good muffin in ages."

"Don't think that I am letting you off the hook, Cole."

"I have no idea what you mean," he replied, getting more coffee.

"Stop drinking that swill. You'll rot your insides with it. I am not going to drop this topic. I'll wait until later to bring it back up. You know when you least expect it. That way you'll tell more than you already have. I am a lawyer. I'll get the information I want. You'll see."

"I have no doubts about that. I've read your file, remember? I know that you are a bulldog in the courts. But, this isn't a courtroom, Missy. And, I have been trained to resist you. Don't you forget that. Liv will tell you more if she wants to, which I doubt that she will. She hates herself for what she had to do. I think it finally got to her and that is why she took your case."

"Why do you say that?" she asked, plating the bacon and eggs.

"You are her retirement package. One last mission before she goes somewhere and vegs out until oblivion comes to claim her. She deserves it. She has been doing this for too long."

"Oblivion comes to claim her?"

"I don't know how long Liv will last in the real world. She has never been part of it for very long. She jumped from mission to mission, never settling in one area long."

"But, still…"

"A lot of people in our position can't hack it in the real world. If we aren't institutionalized by the G men when we get out, we go into hiding. And, in hiding, no one can find us. We do it to get off the grid. We don't want to be found. And, then there is the third possibility."

"And, I am sure that I don't want to know what that is, do I?"

"The same for some of you cop friends who suffer from PTSD after a hard case or shooting."

"They eat their gun?" Alex stated more than she asked.

"Exactly."

"Do you think that she'll do that?"

"No, I don't. I think that Liv is looking for something that she never had. She's realized that she is still young enough to have a real life. She could replace all the bad memories with good ones. She is looking for a place to settle down and a peace that only stillness can give sometimes."

"That would explain on her mornings and evenings on your porch," Alex mussed.

"It would."

"But that still doesn't explain all the uneasiness in her eyes," Alex stated.

"It does if you knew her life. Look, Emily, I am not telling you to befriend her. Just give her some leeway. She's had it harder than most. She had to prove herself in the beginning and it wasn't easy. She is the first female that they let into our program. I'll tell you that she had the perfect aptitude for it. She was in the test cycle and she passed with flying colors. I think that her lack of real social skills made it easier for her. She…was the best of us."

"You say that like it is a bad thing."

"For someone like Liv, it is."

"Because she feels things?"

"Exactly. She is a beautiful, intelligent woman, who majored in death. That doesn't make it easy to make friends. Nor does it make for small talk. She needs someone in her life that understands that. She's never had that. Her home life growing up wasn't…shall we say…ideal. I don't know if there is anyone out that can handle what she's been through, but I hope that she finds them," he told her as he watched her put the muffins in tins he didn't realize that he had and then put them in the oven.

"She is definitely a special specimen."

"A specimen?" Cole questioned.

"She doesn't come across as a person sometimes. I mean that quite literally. She goes into commando mode and there is no reasoning with her. It is like she is on auto-pilot. I've never seen someone move like the way she does. It is amazing and terrifying at the same time."

"That is how it is for her, too, I'm sure."

Alex laughed as she looked at her watch. She refilled her coffee cup and sipped it, quietly. She looked at the older man and wondered what else he wasn't telling her about Liv. He seemed to have her well-being in his interests. He was worried about her, that much she knew, but she didn't know why. She hadn't been in the trenches with them and she knew that she might not ever understand the mystery that was Olivia Benson.

"Hey, what are y'all talking about?" Liv said, walking into the kitchen, grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured herself a cup of coffee.

She sipped it and watched their amused faces, still wondering why no one had replied to her question yet. She set the mug down and refilled it. She looked from Alex to Cole and back again. She cocked an eyebrow at them and watched as Alex took the muffins out of the oven.

"We were just discussing the importance of a well-balanced breakfast. Now, sit down. Cole, plates if you will? Does anyone need a refill?" Alex asked as she moved towards the table with the eggs, bacon and muffins, much to Liv's dismay at not getting a truthful answer.


	10. Chapter 10

They were out in the pasture riding horses. Liv had to admit that she hadn't seen Alex so relaxed in days. She actually looked like she was enjoying herself, but she knew that they couldn't stay there. It wasn't fair to Cole and certainly wasn't fair to Alex. They needed to get on the road. The supped up Camry was ready and Liv was itching to go. She felt like they had been there long enough in Cole's good graces. It was time to move on. It was time to find a place to hide out in the open and keep Alex safe.

She looked at Alex and knew that she wasn't going to be happy for long. The move would require her to actually become Emily. Cole had been helping with the transition and would only address her as such. It wasn't that Liv was going to have a problem calling her Emily; it was the fact that she knew Alex's type. She'd read her file. She was headstrong, antagonistic, and liked to challenge authority. She was going to be a handful, but it was the fact that Cole kept giving Liv this looks that almost set her off. It was like they had become friends and knew something that they weren't going to share with Liv. It made her angry.

"We need to be heading back," Liv said.

"You sure? It's a nice day. Can't we stay out a little longer?"

"I would love to, but we need to pack. We are going to leave in the morning. We're going to need rest," Liv told her.

"Where we going?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No, I don't. I was thinking that we could head up to Chicago, but I don't think that is a good idea anymore. Big cities are too hard to calculate in, too hard to protect you in, and too difficult to work with if something does happen. No, we need some place smaller. And, don't worry, Princess, I am not going to take you to Po Dunk. I need more civilization than that," Liv stated.

"Princess? Po Dunk? What the Hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing."

"No, it isn't nothing. What is it? Fine, you want to be difficult, then I'll be difficult right back. I am not going back until you tell me what is wrong with you. How about that? Do YOU like that? I am going to stay riding, until you tell me what I want to know," Alex told her.

"Fine, stay out here, unprotected. See if I care. I really don't. I'll get paid either way."

"But, it is your job to keep me alive and deliver me to the courthouse on time."

"It is."

"And, yet, you would leave me out here, all alone and unprotected?" Alex questioned, knowing that she had struck a nerve, but not caring enough as she keep picking at it.

"I could."

"You mean that you would."

"I would save us all a lot of trouble."

"You don't mean to say that I am trouble, do you?" Alex asked teasingly.

"Lady, you have been nothing but trouble for me since before we met. Yes, I have to protect you. Yes, I am going to do that, but I can only do so much. You have to help in that situation. If you want to stupid and stay out here with no guard or other protection, then the fault will lie with you. I could care less about it. I will do my best to do it. But, I can't do that alone. You have decided to fight me at every turn. You test me when you don't realize that I know you are. You push back when things don't go your way. Well, I am sorry, Princess, but this isn't a trip to Mom and Dad's place up in the Hamptons. This is some wild and crazy adventure vacation. This is a shit storm of real life for people like me. And, you want to stir the pot, then stir it, Princess. I am not going to be one you have to worry about. I am going to be the one calling your parents and telling them that you are dead because you couldn't follow directions and keep your mouth shut. I am going to have to write a report to let the Alphabets know that you couldn't keep your cover, because you were too busy trying to be you that you failed to notice the cartel following you. It was only a matter of time before they caught you and disposed of you. What you are failing to see, PRINCESS, is that you are target. YOU ARE A TARGET. There are thousands of people in the cartels just waiting to kill you. One shot, Alex, one well-placed shot and that's it. There would be going home, no going back, you would be dead. Is that what you want? Because if it is, I can arrange it for you. I'll call the Alphabets and let them know what you want out, you don't care. You can go commit harry carry on you own. I want nothing to do with that," Liv told her as she spun her horse around and headed back to the house without really waiting for an answer.

She stopped after a few feet, her anger still boiling and looked back at the stunned Alex. She wanted to apologize but she couldn't find the words. It was better for them both if they didn't become friends. It would make the assignment easier. She saw the wounded look in Alex's sapphire blue eyes and almost broke. She raised her chin in defiance of the blonde's influence and shouted back at her, "And, next time you want to know about my life and what I say in my sleep, ask me about, Princess! Leave everyone else out of it! Got it?!"

Alex watched her gallop off towards the barn. She couldn't believe the nerve of the woman. She had the audacity to question whether or not Alex wanted to live. And, she got mad because Cole sort of gave her answer to a question that she had asked Liv several times about. _Oh, Hell no, she wasn't going to put this on me,_ Alex thought. Before she knew what she was doing, she was galloping after Liv. She wasn't going to let this woman get to her.

She was trying very much not to let Liv get to her, but she was. She couldn't deny that. She wouldn't try it. There was something soft about it, that no one else saw. She kept it hidden behind her eyes, but Alex saw it. Whatever it was, it was wounded and wounded so badly that Liv would rather be angry all the time than let it out. Alex didn't care what she wanted anymore. She'd made it clear that she didn't care what Alex wanted, so why should she? But, there was more to it than that. There was more to the story of Olivia Benson, master assassin, and mercenary for the Alphabets, as she called them. There was something dark in her past and Alex knew that it had to do with the Russian speaking assignment. She wondered, as she slowed up her horse. Then, it hit her like a ton of bricks, Liv was scared of her.

She had to be. Whatever happened in Russia or wherever, it made Liv scared of her. Maybe she reminded Liv of someone she knew on the case. Maybe it was the way she acted. She sure as hell knew it wasn't the way she dressed or spoke. There was more to the story and she knew that Cole wasn't going to tell her any more than he already had. And, now due to her situation she wasn't going to be able to use her contacts to the information. She was going to have to deal with Liv blindly and she didn't like it. She would have to wait for Liv to tell her about it or pull it out of her little by little.

She dismounted and slowly entered the barn, pulling the horse behind her by the reins. She found his stall easily and eased him in it. She would come back and rub him down after putting the saddle up, but right now, she needed to find Liv. She was calming herself and trying not to be angry with her because of her outburst. Alex found it hard, but she knew that it wouldn't help anything if she was angry with Liv.

She finally found her four stalls down, rubbing down the horse. She was whispering to it in another language. It wasn't Russian, but Alex couldn't place it. She watched the horse more than she was watching Liv. She couldn't believe how good she was with the horse. If Alex has spooked it, Liv had already calmed it before she realized that Alex was standing in the stall door.

"Can I help you with something, Princess?"

"You could stop calling me that, for one," Alex replied.

"Then stop acting like one."

"If you want to see a princess, I can play the part."

Liv turned sharply to regard the woman in the doorway. She was sure that Alex could play the part and have everyone eating out of her hands, if she so chose, but there was something else about her. There was something in the way she was standing. Alex was an enigma. She was from privilege but she didn't flaunt it except when she needed it. She was grounded.

"I am sure that you could."

"You have no idea."

"What do you want, Emily?"

"I would like you to realize that I am grateful for what you are doing. I am glad that you are the one taking care of me and not some normal suit. You may not have a good social grace, but at least you aren't afraid to tell me like it is. That is rare for people in my family," Alex told her.

"I don't kiss ass."

"So, I've gathered."

"Don't intend to start now," Liv told her, coming out of the stall.

"Good, because I don't want you to," Alex said, backing out of the door way.

She slid the stall door closed and latched it. She threw the curry comb into a bucket across the way. It clanged against the metal and Alex shook a little visibly. Liv took a step away from her and was about to head to the house, when Alex spoke up, again.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being you."

"Now, there is a first."

Alex just smiled at her. They had their peace for now. She knew that they would blow up at each other again. They wouldn't be able to help it, but for now, there was peace. Liv returned her smile and turned to leave again. Alex's hand on her arm stopped her.

"I mean it."

"You mean what?"

"Thank you."

"You can stop saying that, now. I get it. You're grateful."

"Thank you."

"We're leaving in the morning."

"Thank you."

"You should get some sleep. I'll figure it out as we go. I want to be out of here before nine."

"Thank you," Alex said, yet again.

Her hand was still on Liv's arms. The emotions in her dark brown eyes were swimming and Alex couldn't read a thing in them. Liv made to pull away again, but Alex didn't let go.

"Thank you."

Liv scrunched up her face in question. Alex just smiled at her. She didn't want to move but knew that she should. Cole's words were still echoing in her ears. She looked at Alex in a new light every time she saw her. She was beautiful. She would never deny that. And, Liv had to admit that she had a thing for blonde, especially those with piercing blue eyes like Alex's.

"Emily…"

"Thank you."

"We can't."

"We can't, what?" Alex asked her, finally moving her hand.

"We just can't. It wouldn't work. I'm sorry. I'll see you in the morning."

And, with that the moment was over and Liv was gone. Alex stood in the barn staring after her, not sure what the hell just happened. She followed Liv's movements as she got closer to the house, but she didn't follow her. Instead, she went back to her horse to take care of him. The entire time she was rubbing him down, she wondered what Liv meant by the fact they couldn't.


	11. Chapter 11

It was barely the break of dawn when Liv woke Alex up. She had already packed up with car with their stuff. She made sure that her rifle was hidden beneath the back seat. She made it easy for her to access if she needed. She had hidden handguns throughout the driver's compartment as well. She knew that Alex might be put off by all the weapons, but it was the only way that she could protect her. Once she was done getting the car set up the way she wanted, she went back into Cole's house.

She stepped quietly into his office and left him a note. In it, she thanked him. She also gave him her burner phone number cryptically. She knew that he would figure it out quick enough, because he knew her and he knew the number, but didn't know he knew. If anyone else read the note, it would look like gibberish or as the liked to call it "gobbled-y-gook." She knew better than to tell him where they were going, but she knew that he would call if he needed to warn her about anything. He would protect them for as long as he needed, and she was grateful for it.

She tip toed up the stairs and into Alex's room. She gently shook Alex awake. She had to admit that Alex was pretty in the early morning light, but she couldn't think about her in that manner. She had to be professional. She had to remain vigilant in order to protect her.

"What time is it?" Alex asked her groggily.

"Sometime after five."

"In the morning?"

"Yes, in the morning. Get up and get ready. We are going to leave in a few minutes."

"Can I take a shower?"

"If you must, yes. I've already packed up the car. I'm just waiting on you," Liv told her.

"I'll be down in a few. Please have a cup of coffee ready for me. It'll be like ten minutes."

Liv just nodded as she went downstairs again. She made another pot of coffee and hoped that Cole wouldn't wake up before they left. She didn't want to deal with a goodbye for him. She wanted her note to be enough. She didn't do goodbyes, he knew that, and she knew that he would understand.

She stood back and waited for Alex to come down from her shower. She slowly drank a cup of coffee allowing it to fully wake her up. She didn't need it but the caffeine was a bonus for her system. She didn't know how long they would be on the road before she decided to pull over.

Alex came down dressed in a light grey tank top and a pair of jeans. Liv could tell that it wasn't her normal fare but that she was finally getting used to it. She gave a Liv a small smile as she helped herself to some coffee. They drank in silence. When they were done, they rinse out their cups and placed them in the sink.

Liv didn't say anything as she went out the door and to the car. Alex watched her go, but it felt weird. It was like Liv was walking away from her. She couldn't understand the feeling. Watching Liv check the car for the umpteenth time that morning, Alex felt like it was some sort of déjà vu. There was something about the way Liv was moving. It wasn't as fluid as normal; it seemed more forced, and slightly emotional.

She decided that she needed to follow her so she did. She left the house and Cole, hoping that one day they would see each other again. He had become a friend in their short time together. She forced a smile as she walked up to the car. She got in the passenger side and made herself comfortable. She looked over at Liv.

Liv looked up at the house. She shook her head and started the car. They needed to go. They had spent too much time with Cole. They could have put him in danger and if something happened to him, Liv knew that she would never forgive herself. She turned and returned Alex's smile as they pulled away from the farm.

They said nothing as they drove towards I 80 and west. Liv wanted to go see Sanchez in Chicago, but it would be expected. He was another member of their "unit." The Alphabets would be looking for her. It didn't matter that she used a scrambler and a dump phone to call in days ago. She knew that they weren't happy that she had run off with their star witness, but they wouldn't call in more agents to find her until Liv quit checking in.

She reached back behind and touched a black satchel. Alex noticed the movement and pulled it out of the back seat. She sat it on her lap. Liv just gave her a questioning look.

"What do you need?" she asked her.

"Nothing."

"Then why were you after the bag?" Alex asked.

"I wasn't. I was just making sure that it was there. That is your life line."

"Huh?" Alex questioned already opening the bag. "It is just a bunch of cell phones. How is that my life line? What is this?"

"They are all dump phones. None of them are registered. Their SIMs are cloned. So even if I forget to turn it off, they still won't be able to find me. They'll end up finding Joe Q. Public in Indiana while we are in Colorado. Another present from Cole before we left. I can call in to let them know that you are okay and they can't get a lock on us."

"You really are paranoid, you know that?"

"Comes with the job," Liv stated. "Plus a little paranoia keeps you alive. It keeps you alert."

"So, we aren't going to your buddy's in Chicago, are we?"

"No, we aren't. By now, they have pulled the roster from my unit. They are going to find all my compatriots. They are going to be looking for me. Because some idiot in an office, who might not realize that he is tipping off the cartels, is going to believe that I have kidnapped you to trade you to the cartels for something. I am not by the way," Liv told her.

"I would hope not."

"It wouldn't do me any good. I don't want drugs, guns or their money. I have enough of my own and it is untraceable. The Alphabets pay well for my line of work, but they forget sometimes who they hired. They have no idea how much wealth I really have. I wanted to make you disappear, I could, but it would defeat the purpose of this mission."

"Which is?"

"You are my retirement package. I can't find my peace, if I don't get you back to New York. Hopefully, there is someone in an office building in DC who will realize that I haven't betrayed the country. I am going to protect you and make sure that you get back in time for the trial. I just hope that whoever that is, gets through to the rest of the Alphabets."

"They will."

"I hope so. I don't need to be worried about my own people coming for you, too. It is hard enough trying to research the cartels you decided to go to war with. Their tactics and local leaders change quite regularly. That is how they have stayed in power so long. They own parts of their home country but let the captains and lieutenants run things here. As they get caught, killed or ousted, someone else comes to power and everything starts over."

"Tell me something that I don't already know," Alex responded.

"I have no idea where we are going."

"Really?"

"Yup, I am just going to follow I 71 for a while. Then, I am going to just turn. It is better if we don't have a plan really. That way we can't leave an obvious trail for anyone to follow. I know it seems stupid to do that, but trust me. It will be harder for them to follow us this way."

"I understand."

"You aren't going to fight me on this, Princess?"

"I thought we established that I don't appreciate that moniker."

"It doesn't have to be a bad name."

"I don't like it."

"Sure you don't. It doesn't matter. But, are you going to fight me on this?"

"No, Olivia, I am not. I understand that you are doing everything in your power to keep me alive. I am not stupid or simple. I just don't remaining idle. I guess I will just have to think of this as an extended vacation while we tour the States. It makes it easier for me in my head."

"Whatever works for you," Liv stated.

Alex gave her a look before resuming her stare out the windshield. She didn't know how long they would be driving and she didn't really have anything to occupy her. She leaned back in the seat and made herself as comfortable as she could in the sedan. It didn't have that much room, but it had enough for her to stretch out her legs.

It seemed like they had been on the road for a long time the next time that Alex registered that trees had changed. She must have falling asleep. Liv just looked ahead and get barreling into the unknown, without a plan, but enough fire power to take out a small city on her own. She was grateful for her overprotectiveness and her preparedness, but there was something else behind the reason that Liv was running. They were running and she knew it. She just wished that she knew why Liv wasn't just running from the Alphabets and the cartels, but her as well.

"You awake?"

"Yeah, I am awake. Why? Need to stop?"

"It wouldn't hurt and we need gas. I figured we could get some lunch. Start checking the signs for something you want. We'll pull over for a little while," Liv told her as she merged into the slow lane.

It was at that point that Alex realized they were in Kentucky as they crossed a river and she saw the WELCOME TO KENTUCKY sign. She glanced at her watch trying to figure out how long she had been out. Then she looked over at the speedometer and realized that Liv was doing around eighty-five to ninety.

"You're going to get pulled over," Alex stated absent-mindedly.

"No, I won't."

"Yes, you will. You're speeding. They are going to pull you over."

"No, they won't."

"And, why won't they."

"Because when they run the plates they will back off."

"And, why is that?"

"Because, Cole is a genius and a cheeky bastard."

"What did he do?"

"If they try to trace the car, they'll fail. If they manage to run the plates, it will come back a special assignment group for the NSA and CIA. It will have perfect clearance to drive as it wishes. They will follow us for a while, flash their lights, and then back off. No cop wants to be the one that interferes with a Federal investigation. It causes too much paperwork."

"He faked the plates?"

"That isn't all he faked," Liv said, chuckling at her. "You no longer exist, only Emily does. No one knows who you are except me and Cole. Trust me; he is going to erase anything that he did that pertains to Emily today. So, even if they find him, they won't be able to find you. We were never there. I told you that he was good."

"You did."

"What's wrong?"

"How long was I asleep?"

"I don't know, a few hours."

"You didn't think to wake me?"

"No, you look like you needed to sleep. I was going to let you. Besides, I am used to be being by myself. I've just been aimlessly driving."

"We're in Kentucky," Alex stated.

"Yeah, we are. We've been through parts of West Virginia and Ohio already. Did you miss something there besides the hills?"

"No, I guess not."

"What's wrong?" Liv asked her.

"I need to pee."

"Well, I can find us a bathroom. Look up ahead. There is exit 186, I am sure that we can find something that you will like to eat and place to use the bathroom. It is far enough away from Cincinnati for my liking too. We'll stop there. It is like two more miles. Can you make it?"

"Yes, I'll make it," Alex said as she started to sit up, readying her body to exit the vehicle.


	12. Chapter 12

She pulled the car over a few exits up and let Alex pee at some nice restaurant. She wasn't going to let Alex suffer with fast food that much while they traveled. While she knew that her body could take the abuse of a McDonald's hamburger several times a day, but she knew that Alex's couldn't. It was a small consideration that she was giving her, but it wasn't just for Alex's delicate stomach. She was actually trying to be nice.

They only stayed in the small area of Fort Mitchell for little over an hour before they were back on the road. Liv didn't want to waste any time, but then again, she hadn't picked anywhere for them to end up at for the night yet. She pulled out her smart phone and a map while they were dining. She wanted to stop in Tennessee, but she still didn't know where. She just got them back on the road and headed down I 71.

She found a small town in the middle of nowhere. Upon Googling it while Alex ate her lunch, Liv was happy to know that it was indeed a very small town with a very low population. It was the perfect place to stop for the night. She hoped that it wouldn't take too long to get there, too.

She looked at Alex as they barreled down the interstate. She slowed down to a reasonable speed. They had made it farther than she had planned for the day. They could afford to slow down some, and she hated to admit that Alex had been right about them speeding. They were in an area prone to speed traps and being ticketed. She didn't want to bring any unnecessary attention to them. It was an easy decision.

It was sometime later that they were finally in Tennessee. The sun was still up. Liv thought that it had to be around early evening. She hadn't bothered to look at clock radio in the car's dash. Alex had stayed awake during this leg of the drive, but she could tell that Liv was getting restless. She watched the signs go by not really noting anything of importance. They were in rural Tennessee and there wasn't much to see but landscape.

Alex laughed to herself knowing that none of her friends would know what to do with her if they saw her here. She was so far out of her element, and she didn't just mean the jeans and t-shirts she had grown accustomed to wearing over the last few weeks. She had always been a "City" girl.

"You've got to be kidding me," Liv stated as they crossed into Henry County.

"What?" Alex asked, suddenly coming back to reality.

"They have an Eiffel Tower here."

"A what?" Alex questioned full of disbelief.

"It looks like this place is called Paris, so they build their own Eiffel Tower."

"Really?"

"Yup, see," Liv told her pointing at a billboard, as they drove passed it.

"Well, now, I believe I have seen it all," Alex quipped.

"You wanna go?" Liv asked her almost childlike.

"You want to go see a small town in Tennessee's replica of the Eiffel Tower?"

"Why not? It beats being on the road. Plus, this place has enough places for us to stay the night and figure out where we are going to go next. It isn't a budding metropolis, but it isn't a crossroads, either. Besides, you know you want to," Liv teased her in the end.

"I have always liked Paris in the Fall," Alex replied, teasing her back.

"Good, we'll stay here then," Liv stated as she got off the highway and headed into town.

After touring the town and seeing the replica Eiffel Tower, they found a small family run diner on the main strip of downtown. Liv finally noted the time and knew that they had to find somewhere to stay soon. As they ate, Liv looked over the travel brochures she'd picked up. She kept coming back to the Paris Landing State Park one. There was something about it that kept catching her eye. She didn't know what it was, but maybe the fact that they had cabins near a lake. Then she thought about how easy it would be to defend them against anything in a cabin versus a hotel. This would be her primary want in coming stops.

"What about this?" Liv asked handing her the brochure.

"It looks nice. Quaint actually and very peaceful, is this where you want to stay tonight? I don't see a problem with it."

"What about a cabin?"

"You're asking me if I want to stay in a cabin?"

"Well, I do want you to be comfortable."

"You want to stay in a cabin over the lodge, don't you?"

"It would be easier for me to deal with, yes. Plus, I like the scenery. It would be very calming. The cabins are big enough that we wouldn't have to share a room. There are kitchens and cable, so we could entertain ourselves. It isn't perfect, but they seem nice enough."

"It sounds fine. I am actually beginning to like the country. I understand why you like it, too. It is peaceful. I am sure that we will be fine there. Go ahead and call them. It looks like we can get a weekly rate, too. I am sure that will help you with our finances," Alex told her.

"Finances aren't going to be a problem. I thought I already told you that. I've got everything covered. But, you're sure that you are okay staying there for a while. We could plan where to go from here. Plus, it is only about twenty miles from town. We can get whatever we need quickly enough, if we need to, you know?"

"It's fine, Liv. Go ahead and book us a cabin. I'm going to the bathroom," Alex told her as she stood up and left the table.

Liv just stared after her. She knew that she was in "God's Country," and needed to make sure that no one suspected that were "together together." She didn't want to be putting a different type of bull's eye on their backs. She knew that people weren't as tolerant here, but she wasn't actually with Alex. They would be okay. She would make sure of it.

"Here ya go, Hun," the waitress told her, refilling her coffee cup and handing her the ticket.

"Thanks," she replied reflexively.

"Looking at staying at the Landing, huh?"

"Yeah, it looks nice."

"Oh, it is, Sugar. My daughter had her weddin' out there, last year. It was beautiful. Might want to call up there though, they start booking up early."

"Thanks for the suggestion."

"No problem, Sugar. Y'all down from Memphis way or from Louisville? We don't get many like y'all in these parts," she told them.

"Excuse me?" Liv asked.

"You know, big business women, like yourselves. Where y'all from anyway? Cause I can't tell."

"Chicago," Liv lied.

"Ah, that's why. Well, have fun at the Landing. And, tell your friend to relax. Whatever brings you here, don't matter here. Just let all your troubles and worries melt away. This is place was touched by God. You'll see. He'll look after you. Just remember to pray about it. Just remind her to give her problems to God and He'll take care of it. I am sure that will help her. And, if you need a church on Sunday, check out the Church of Christ over on Sparks Street. Hopefully, I'll see there Sunday," the waitress told her.

"Thanks," Liv stated reflexively.

Alex chose then to come back. She gave Liv a questioning look as she sat back down. She watched as the waitress left with a big smile on her face.

"What was that about?" Alex asked her.

"It seems that we are powerful business women from Chicago. We are obviously out of our element and needed a break, hence why we are here. Evidently you are under too much stress. She does recommend staying out at the Landing and invited us to the local Church of Christ over on Sparks Street on Sunday so we can let all of our problems go to God," Liv stated.

Alex blinked several limes and just stared at her. She grabbed her glass of water and took a sip. She returned it to the table and just stared blankly at Liv. When she finally had a coherent thought, she opened her mouth, waited a second to see if Liv was going to tell her more and then spoke.

"Seriously?"

"Yup."

"That's the best you could come up with?" Alex asked her.

"I didn't come up with any of it. The waitress did all that on her own. I promise. Hell, if they want to believe that while we are here, then let them. It could be worse."

"And, what do I, the illustrious Emily, do in Chicago?" Alex asked her.

"I don't know. She didn't tell me," Liv answered with a laugh, before asking. "Any thoughts?"

Alex let out at small giggle. It was amazingly refreshing to see and hear. Liv smiled at her.

"Not at the moment. I'll get back to you on that. Did you call the place and get us a cabin yet? I'm ready to go," Alex told her.

"Here, take this," Liv told her handing her a wad of cash, "Go pay for lunch. I'll meet you outside. I'm gonna call them now."

Alex nodded and took the cash. She grabbed the ticket and headed to the cashier station. She watched as Liv walked out the door to the diner on her phone, but that she immediately turned around to watch Alex through the front glass windows. She smiled at Alex as she talked on the phone. Their waitress came over to take their payment.

"Everything okay, y'all?"

"It was fine, thank you," Alex replied, handing her the money.

"Don't worry about nothing here. Good thing you got out of the city. It looks like this country air is helping you. Bless your heart. Things aren't always that serious. I promise. Just give your worries to God, Sugar. He'll deal with it for you. Hope to see you folks in church Sunday, dear. Have a good day."

Alex smiled at the woman, blinking and blankly. She waved off the change. The waitress just nodded and pocketed the change as part of her tip. Alex quickly left the diner and grabbed Liv by the arm, pulling her to the car. Liv unlocked it and Alex got in and shut the door.

"What's wrong with you?" Liv asked getting in the driver's side.

"Gel me out of here," Alex said.

"What's wrong?"

"She wants us to be in church on Sunday. I gave up on God years ago. We need to go, now."

Liv pulled out of the space and headed towards the state park. She was right that it wouldn't be long for them to come into town for supplies. She didn't know how long she was willing to stay there. She knew that it wouldn't be a permanent stop for them. This was just another stepping stone in keeping Alex alive.

She sighed as the pulled through the gates and up to the main lodge. She gave Alex a look as she turned the car off. Alex silently complied and exited the vehicle when Liv did. She knew that it was an unspoken rule that she was to stay with Liv no matter where they were or what time it was. She was to be Liv's shadow as Liv was to be her's.

They walked into the lodge and up to the main desk. There was a middle-aged man with a bad comb-over standing behind it. He smiled up at them as the approached.

"I called earlier about the cabin by the lake," Liv told him.

"Oh, yes, Miss Yeltsin and Miss White. I am glad that you called when you did. It is our last cabin this week. I hope that you will find your stay here relaxing and refreshing. My name is Beau Pinckney. If you need anything just ask for me. Here are the keys to the cabin. It is fully stock with towels and linens, but if you need more, just call up here to the lodge and someone will bring more to you."

"Do you need my card now or in the morning?"

"It can wait until morning. The information that you gave me over the phone all checked out. The standard rates for a week are two hundred dollars. I've already charged that to the card you gave me. If I can be of any further assistance, just let me know ladies. Enjoy your stay."

They smiled at the man, turned and left. Once they were back in the car, Alex looked at Liv. She had already paid for a week. It gave Alex and idea of how long they would be there. This was just another stop, she knew that, but to stay for a few days didn't seem like Liv's style.

"Miss Yeltsin and Miss White?" Alex asked her as Liv drove through the park on the unmarked paved roads to their cabin.

"It was a quick and easy thing to give him."

"Yeltsin and White, what's next Borisnakov and Black?"

"Maybe," Liv answered sarcastically, "I'll write those down."

"I think we need to come up with a more permanent name for the both of us," Alex stated.

"Not until we get somewhere to settle down. Don't worry about the credit cards, though. I have many aliases aligned with the account. The bank doesn't care as long as one of the names matches that it on the account. Trust me when I tell you. Olivia Benson could die ten times over, and there would still be someone to take her place on the account. Don't think about it too much. It is just a name. They are as easy to change as your hair color."

"That isn't what I meant and you know it," Alex huffed.

"Well, then Princess, what did you mean?"

"Can we not fight? We are both tired. I just want to go to bed. We can hash out whatever in the morning," Alex stated.

"Sounds good to me. Look, Princess, you're castle away from the City. This is a lot nicer than the brochure. Let's go check it out," Liv said pulling into the parking space behind the cabin.


	13. Chapter 13

Liv carried their groceries into the cabin. They had just gotten back from the Lakeview Grocery store just down the road. It had been an experience to shop with Alex, but Liv reigned her in more than once when it was necessary. She just laughed when Alex wanted something exotic. They were in the middle of nowhere, Tennessee and Alex was still thinking like a New Yorker. Eventually. Alex gave up on her quest and let Liv finish shopping for the both of them.

She sat the bags on the counter and started unloading them. She started putting the meats in the freezer when Alex came back in from her room. She just eyed her as she continued to put the groceries away.

"What?" Alex finally asked.

"Nothing."

"Why are you staring at me like that, then?"

"I'm just imagining you in the grocery store in New York."

"Why?"

"Because it is amusing," Liv answered.

"Why is it so amusing?"

"Because you have been rich too long. You don't know how to eat poor or simply. Not that is a bad thing, but you are going to have to get used to not being able to fine your exotic cheeses and things. Not everywhere has the same tastes. Here people live simply and work hard."

"Are you saying that I don't work hard?" Alex questioned.

"I never said that. People here just have a different set of values placed on money. If they make enough to keep a roof over their head, food on the table, and clothed, they are happy. Life is so different here compared to the City. Living outside New York is going to be a big adjustment for you, but I don't think that you have completely thought that out, yet," Liv answered.

"I understand that. Remember that I have been in the system for a few years now. I understand living on at budget. I have sampled the great little treat of ramen. I get it," Alex stated.

"By that answer, I know that you don't. Don't worry about it. You didn't grow up in it. You didn't have it hard. You appreciate the finer things in life. They appreciate life. There is a difference and maybe one day, you'll find that out for yourself. Don't stress about it," Liv explained.

"I don't want to argue about this."

"I am not arguing. I am just stating fact. Look, don't worry about it. Did you decide what you wanted for dinner? I need to leave something out to cook, you know?"

"No, not yet. I guess you can just surprise me. It doesn't really matter to me. As long as I get something to eat, I'll be happy. Does that answer your question?"

Liv knew with Alex's answer that she was upset. She watched as Alex walked back to her room. She hadn't intended to upset or offend her, but she needed Alex to stop thinking like Alex. She knew that it was going to be hard. She'd had to learn it when she joined the military, but then again, she wasn't raised as privileged New York heiress, either. She knew this would be hard on Alex but not this bad.

Liv just shook her head and started putting up the dry goods. She still couldn't believe how much food they bought for roughly a week stay, but she found that she couldn't say "no" to Alex. It was a little odd, but she just filed the feeling away. She didn't need any complications when it came to her guard duty to Alex. She knew the rules that she imposed on herself. She had the rules for reason and she knew it. Alex couldn't become another Yulia. Liv knew that she would survive it.

She would let Alex pout if she wanted. Liv would just continue to try and be professional. She had read Alex's file. She knew that she was different from the rest of the high society rich white girls of New York, but sometimes she fell right into that grouping so well. Liv didn't have it that easy, but she adapted well. It was another reason that Liv was so good at her job.

She didn`t want to think about all that right now. She needed to plan escape routes and make sure that no one was truly too curious about them staying there. She didn't think that they had been followed and she made sure to use your dump phones for any calls that she'd made. She knew that Alex hadn't used her phone either. She would have known, because it was cloned to hers.

She sighed as she finished putting up the groceries. Liv knew that she had only given the Alphabets just enough to keep them off her back. They weren't happy with the rushed leaving of New York., but they had given Liv free reign for this job. They couldn't argue with her because she was the best and if she thought that she could protect Alex better by not being in New York, then they would let her go.

Liv stared at the counter. She wasn't sure what she was going to make for dinner, but she wanted to do something fancy, something she knew that Alex would enjoy. She just didn't know what. She reached over and grabbed the closet bottle of Merlot and opened it. While she let it breathe for a second or two, she searched the cabinets for at wine glass. When she didn't find one, she settled on a pint glass instead.

She poured a healthy amount of the red wine in the glass and then re-corked the bottle. She grabbed her glass and headed to the table in the living room area. She was grateful that it was next to the sliding glass patio door that went out to the deck overlooking the lake. It would give her a nice view while she tried to calm down and plan out dinner. She reached over to the couch and snatched her backpack. She rummaged through it until she found her laptop.

She logged in and immediately started searching recipe sites. She had no clue what she was looking for, but she was determined to find it. She knew that she didn't want to do anything with beef or chicken. All she had meat wise to work with was some pork tenderloin, pork chops, and some locally made sausage. If she could have bought some venison, she would have been ready to make anything. It was too bad that the FDA didn't allow for the commercial selling of venison.

She reached over and picked up her glass. She took a nice big sip and continued her search as she set it back on the table. She finally decided that she would work with the pork tenderloin. As she searched through the sites, she didn't really notice that Alex had come out of her room and headed into the kitchen. She knew she was in there as soon as she heard the cabinets open. She didn't turn around to see what Alex was doing, she just listened to her movements, memorizing the sound of her more.

Alex poured herself a glass of wine, opting for the pint glass as well, and then joined Liv at the table. She sat down with little fanfare. Liv didn't acknowledge her as she was working on the laptop. She hid the recipe sites und had pulled up maps of the area. She acted like she was studying them for escape purposes. The truth was that she had already done that at the diner the day before.

"What are you doing?" Alex finally asked.

"Making plans," Liv told her.

"Plans for what?" Alex asked taking another drink of her wine.

Liv just turned to look her in the eye. Her whole train of thought was gone. She didn't know what to say to her. There was just something about Alex that was beginning to unnerve her. She reached for her glass of wine to realize that it was empty. She stood up, grabbed her glass, and headed back into the kitchen. She grabbed the bottle of wine and turned around. She then noticed that Alex has a glass as well. She decided to bring it back to the table. She sat back down, poured herself some more and then offered to top off Alex's glass. Alex waved her off and gave her a look letting her know that she was still wailing on her answer. Liv just smiled and took a sip of wine, still not answering.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"I would think than it was obvious, Alex. I always have to be ready to get you to safety. I don't have the luxury of not being worried about your health and well fare. I have to be on the lookout and think that everyone is out to get you. I don`t have any other choice. It is how I stay alive and how I will keep you alive. I always make sure that I have more than one plan, too. People are smart. People who want you dead are even smarter. I always have to be one step ahead of them."

"I know that."

"Then, why did you ask me what the plans were for?"

"I didn't think that you would be that worried here. I mean we are in America's heartland, the Bible Belt. Who would be assassin here?"

"You would be surprised. Trust me on that. Cole is from a little town not far from here. It is so small though that you could blink and would have been through it, already. I am sure that his old friends and family that are still there would be heartily surprised to find out what he did for at living in the military."

"He is from around here?"

"Yup, I would say about twenty or thirty miles. He was raised a good God fearing, Southern Gentleman, but the Army can screw up anyone. All they need is time and training, which is all we do and all we have in the military."

"I see."

"No. you don't really and that is a good thing. You haven't been corrupted by the powers that be. You are still fighting for justice and liberty. There aren't many that would still that after what we've been through. It kinda dampens your spirit and makes you look at things differently. You still have the ideals of a woman untouched by the real world. You don't have the scars to prove that lite, liberty and the pursuit of happiness aren't as God-given as we would hope. I do," Liv explained.

"You outlook on life is so cynical. Why? What happened to you?"

"Kiev happened to me. And, no, Alex, I am not going to tell you anymore than Cole did. I don't want to remember it. I don't need to remember it. I lived it. I almost died for it. And, I have plenty of scans to prove it. So, do me a favor, and don't ask. Because, trust me when I say this, Princess: you really, really don't want to know about the evils that I have seen and done. Got me?" Liv asked, leaning towards her as she picked up her wine glass.

She downed the rest of the wine in one gulp. She reached for the bottle and poured the rest into the pint glass. She took another drink and for the first time since she opened the bottle, allowed herself to enjoy its flavor. Alex just watched her wide-eyed, but even though her own curiosity was running rampant in her mind, she kept quiet as Liv asked.

"'Thank you."

"For what?"

"Not asking me anything about it. I know that you want to know, but it isn't something that I am ready to share. I don't know that I will ever be ready to share it, either." Liv told her.

Liv stood up quickly from the table. She grabbed the empty bottle of wine and headed back into the kitchen. Alex just watched her go. She eventually got up and followed Liv into the kitchen. She sat at the small bar lop and just watched as Liv moved around the kitchen.

"You seem at home in the kitchen. I find that surprising. It doesn't seem to jive with your skill set."

"My skill set?" Liv questioned.

"Yeah, as an assassin. Cooking doesn't seem to be a high priority for that. Where did you learn to cook the way that you do?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Liv answered with a slight laugh.

"You'd be surprised what I would believe."

"I don't doubt that, but this is even farfetched for me."

"Try me."

"I had an assignment once in France. It was a leisurely assignment, not something I was really used to doing. I had a lot of down time. So, I asked if l could get a job or something. I was surprised when the Alphabets told me 'yes.' I immediately started looking into schools and such. The Cordon Bleu was there. I took an exam and got in, which was amazing in itself. I didn't have an appointment or any credentials that would have gotten me in."

"That is amazing. So, what are you doing? Are you making something amazing for dinner?"

"That was the idea, yeah," Liv stated.

She pulled the pork tenderloin out of the fridge and got ready to make a glaze for it. She turned around and preheated the oven to 350 degrees. She got out all the other ingredients. Alex just watched her move with ease around the kitchen.

"You know what you should do when you retire?"

"What?" Liv asked with a passing curiosity as she continued to mix up a balsamic glaze.

"You should become a chef," Alex told her.

"I don't know that having that many knives around would be a good thing. You haven't seen what I do when I get upset. It isn't really that pretty."

"It was just an idea."

"I know that. It isn't something that I have really thought about though. I am just looking for peace and quiet. I don't know that I'll ever find it with my memories, but it is still worth a shot."

Alex just watched as she continued to mix the oil and vinegar mixture. She was surprised when Liv pulled out some red pepper flakes and some fresh rosemary. She was just in awe as Liv freshly crushed the red pepper and then chopped up the rosemary before adding it to the mixture.

"I hope you are hungry," Liv said in passing us she began to massage the glaze on the tenderloin.

"Looking at that. Yes, I am very hungry. I can't wait to try it."

"Well, you've got about an hour," Liv told her putting it in the oven.

"An hour, huh? I wonder what trouble I could get into in an hour. I am sure a lot by the look you are giving me," Alex teased her.

"Please don't," Liv stated as she turned around and started digging around in the fridge.

"I am just trying to make conversation. I am sorry. You are easy to tease though. Maybe we should work on that and you not getting so upset by it," Alex suggested.

Liv continued to rummage through the refrigerator. She wasn't paying Alex any attention. She was focused making dinner. She knew that Alex was trying to be nice, but she wasn't really in the mood. She wanted to cook and not think about what she was really doing. Somewhere in the back of her mind it was still plaguing her that she was protecting a target and for whatever reason, cooking calmed that thought process and allowed her to function almost in a normal manner.

She put some greens, carrots, tomatoes, and peppers on the counter. She began looking for a knife and a cutting board. She found the cutting board first. When she turned and placed it on the counter, she saw that Alex was holding a knife, handle towards Liv, out for her. Liv just stared at her and wondered what she was actually thinking. She reached out and took the knife, giving Alex a slight smile.

"You know that you can be friendly when you want to be, right?" Alex asked her.

"If you say so. I've already told you that I don't really deal with people well. I am trying."

"Well, you are succeeding. I am guessing that you are making a salad. Would you like me to help? I am capable of helping you without hurting myself. I have been cooking for myself for years. Or, did I do something against your tastes while we were at Cole`s place?" Alex asked.

"No, what you made was fine. I am just used to doing it myself. I am not opposed to you helping, but like I said, I've been alone for so long that I just used to doing everything myself. You can help if you would like. Do you? Want to help that is?" Liv asked her.

"I would be happy to help you. What do you need me to do? I can handle the salad if you have something else that you want to work on. I know, can you make some sort of vinaigrette for the salad?"

"I can," Liv answered with a genuine smile as she handed the knife and cutting board to Alex at the bar. She didn't hand her the vegetables immediately. She washed them quickly in the sink and then gave them to Alex to cut up. Once she was satisfied with how Alex was cutting up the stuff for the salad, she started looking for some bowls in the cabinets.

While she was on her search for bowls, she found the ingredients that she would need for the dressing. She sat them on the counter with the bowls. She handed the largest of the bowls to Alex for the salad.

Then she found a whisk and began to make the vinaigrette. She used the balsamic vinegar and the olive oil as the base for it. She crushed up, mashed up, and cut up some spices that Alex couldn't identify and put them in the bowl with the oil and vinegar mixture. She quickly whisked them together until everything was blended. She grabbed some plastic wrap and covered the bowl before putting it in the fridge to chill before dinner.

Alex just watched her the entire time. She was unsure of what to say. It was just an awesome sight to see someone so deadly doing something so mundane as making dinner. It kind of took the edge of Liv somehow and made her seem more human and not so rock hard. It was a nice and different side to her.

It reminded Alex of the woman that she met on horseback at Cole's place. She wasn't the assassin. She was just a woman and she thought that woman and herself could be friends.

Alex smiled at her. Liv gave her a smile in return us she dug into the fridge again. She pulled out some asparagus and set it on the counter. She fished out a baking sheet and rubbed some butter on it, greasing it up. She turned the water on and felt the temperature. She plugged up the sink und waited for it to fill up to a certain height before she put the asparagus in the cool water. She then reached over to the knife block and took a knife. With quick hands and ease, she cut the ends off the asparagus and laid them out on the baking sheet. She glanced at the timer over the oven and did some mental calculations.

She grabbed the cooking sheet with the asparagus on it and drizzled some olive oil over the top. She then flicked a little of the vinegar on it us well. When she was done, she went back to the fridge and pulled out some goat cheese. She opened und sampled it, smiling at the taste.

"You do like asparagus, right?" Liv asked, realizing that Alex might not like the vegetable in question.

"Yes, I do."

"Good," she answered as she liberally sprinkled some of the cheese over the stocks of asparagus.

When she was happy with the coatings and the cheese, she turned back around to the oven. She grabbed a spoon from only she knew where and opened the oven. She rearranged the tenderloin to a lower rack while she put the baking sheet in the oven on the top most rack. She then used the spoon to dip into the sauce surrounding the tenderloin and drizzled it over the top of it, basically spoon basting it. She made sure to cover the entire tenderloin with the sauce again before she shut the oven door.

She glanced at the timer, turned around and smiled at Alex.

"What?"

"Twenty minutes," Liv told her, "How's the salad coming?"

"I've finished. I hope that it is to your liking. I would hate to be fired as your sous chef after my first attempt. I don't like to fail."

"I've noticed," Liv slated.

"Is that a bad thing?" Alex questioned, as she handed her back all the makings for the salad.

"No, I never said that it was. I hate to fail, too. In my line of work, it could be more than just my life if I do. I've made sure that the target is eliminated no matter the cost to me. That is why I became the best. I guess. I no longer cared for my safety as long as I completed the mission."

"That is a dangerous way to live," Alex replied.

"It is. It was. It always will be, but without people like me willing to the dirty work, who will keep the so-called wolves at bay from our nation's shores. It is a nasty mentality for a nasty job. I can understand why you don't see yourself being able to do it. It isn't something that is inherent for us as humans to have the want to destroy another's life. It has to be learned and taught. Sometimes, even then, you can't make the decision in the field. It is different for everyone. I learned all l could about my marks. It made it easier to pull the trigger when you knew what they had done. It is easy to use hate in that situation. It becomes a given. Overtime, reasons become arbitrary," Liv explained to her.


	14. Chapter 14

Dinner had been quiet and easy. They actually discussed things that didn't seem trivial to either of them. For Alex's part, she stirred clear of Kiev and for Liv's, she didn't push too much about what drove Alex to take on the cartels to begin with. They seemed to be getting along better and at ease with each other for once. For Liv it was an exercise in domesticity. She found herself smiling more in Alex's presence and she didn't seem as on edge.

She was sitting out on the deck when Alex joined with an after dinner cup of coffee. She took the cup of coffee that Alex offered her and watched as she sat down beside her. There was a calm around them that Liv noticed as she slowly sipped her coffee.

"It is nice here," Alex slated breaking the silence.

"It is."

"I can see why you picked it."

"Oh?"

"Well, you said that Cole was from here. He must have talked about it. When we started driving, you probably didn't even think about it and just headed here. It doesn't matter the reason. It is nice and quiet. I think that I have missed this more than l want to admit," Alex told her.

"Missed the quiet? Somehow I doubt that. You are too much of a city girl to handle the country for long periods of time. I think that you are too used to the hustle and bustle to stay still long."

"It is a little, but my parents have a house at Cape Cod. When Daddy needed a break, that is where we went. I liked going there, but it was a vacation. We never stayed longer than two weeks. I think that Daddy missed the City and court too much. Mother never really seemed to care, too much."

"You miss them don't you?"

"Yes, I do. It has been hard, but I know that they were proud of me. It is something that keeps me going. I want to continue to keep them proud of me. I guess that is what drives me sometimes. I think about Daddy and the cases that he tried and I want to make sure that I still make the name Cabot synonymous with justice, you know? I became a lawyer because he was and I wanted to be like him."

"I am sure that he is proud of you. Alex. I've seen your record. It is very impressive. I am surprised that this is the first time that you have been in protection. With your record, I am surprised that you haven't had more death threats levied against you," Liv told her.

"I've had my fair share. This has to be the worst though. Usually, we finish the trial, they were put in prison, and I am warned when they go up for parole. None of those cases have been released though. Unfortunately for the cases I try, they don't last too long in prison. They are the lowest on the prison hierarchy," Alex explained.

"I guess that is fortunate for you, though."

"I guess so. I try not to think about it too much. I am just trying to help the people who have been victimized and get the scum off the street. There are times that l don't want to prosecute because of the conditions concerning the case, but I can`t pick and choose the laws I want to uphold and try. I have to give each case my all, regardless of my feelings. It is hard, but rewarding work. At least, I can sleep at night, well most nights after I get a conviction. There have been a few that kept me up, though."

"I am sure."

"What about you? Any assignments ever get to you? I mean besides Kiev, of course," Alex stated.

"I am sure that they did, but I don't remember any of them, now."

"Really?"

"You learn not to. Those that can't get passed that have a tendency to not last long in my profession. It is a different but I understand what you are saying. I think in the beginning I had some minor issues, but they didn't last too long."

"Really?"

"How can I be upset when I can't see the person I am shooting?"

"How do you shoot them then?"

"Practice."

Alex arched an eyebrow at her and took a sip of coffee. She didn't know what to say to Liv's revelation. Liv didn't turn to look at her. She was still staring out over the water.

"It isn't hard to care when you can't see their faces."

"Then, how do you know that they are actually dead?"

"I'm usually not the only person looking at them. I would have a spotter, someone who confirms the target. Once I have confirmation, I take the shot. Once I shoot, another person closer to the target verifies the strike. They were usually a deep undercover Alphabet agent. Those were always the easy targets. It was the up close and personal ones that give you pause," Liv told her.

"Like Kiev""

"Yes, like Kiev."

"I am sorry."

"For what?"

"I know that you don't want to talk about it."

"You're right, I don`t."

"I think I can understand why though. I am sorry that you had to do that. I guess I just don't understand politics the way that I thought I did," Alex told her.

"It usually had nothing to do with politics but national security. Don't get me wrong, Alex, it was hard, but when you think about the cost of one life for many, you learn to deal with it. As a mercenary or an assassin for the government, you always have to look at the bigger picture or a long range plan. You can't base your decisions on personal want or gain. The minute that you do that, you go rogue and you become the target. I might have questioned some of the targets, but I understood my place as a cog in the machine that protects our country and way of life. Most of the time, I knew a head of time who my targets were going to be and why. Sometimes, I didn't, but I usually found out why they were eliminated later. There are only a few that I never got an answer about or understood why they were targeted. But, I knew better than to ask. Those that do have a tendency to not last long," Liv stated.

"I take that you learned that quickly," Alex replied.

"I did."

"What made you go into that line of work?"

"I don't know that any one thing lead me into it directly. It was more a culmination of things. I have no real family, so no one to miss me. I was a good shot and I didn't fail the psyche evaluations. It seemed that I had the aptitude to do it. Plus, my olive skin and quick learning of languages got me into places others couldn't go. That meant that I could handle most of Europe. Northern Asia and the Arab States. It is amazing how dark I can get when I try tan."

"I am sure."

"But, even those who are like me need a break. You start to realize that you aren't as young as you once were. You don't fit in as well in some areas. So you start training your replacements and you end up on clean up duty or doing the jobs that no one else can. That is what happened with Cole. He trained me and became my spotter for some of our assignments. Now, I am retiring, too," Liv said.

"Did you train anyone?"

"No, I didn't. I don't know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. I know that there is still a company of men and a few women, but not many, that train for assignments like those. I think that fortunately they aren't needed as much right now. So, they'll continue to train. You see they only call us when everyone else has failed. Much like they did for you," Liv quipped.

"Where were you when you got the call?" Alex asked.

"You know I can't tell you that," Liv stated.

"Just narrow it down to a continent for me."

"I was in Asia," Liv muttered.

"Cold there?"

"It can be."

"You really aren't going to tell me about it, are you?" Alex questioned.

"I can't. You know that. I can't tell you anything more but generalizations and sometimes not even then. There are some things that the American public doesn't need to know about. My job is one of them. I don't think that half the populace would agree that I am needed to keep America safe. I wish that more people could be blissfully ignorant of the horrors of the world, but unfortunately they can't. It sucks, but all we can do is learn from it and move on. Sometimes death gives birth to new life." Liv explained as she took another long sip of her now cold coffee.

"I guess I understand that but on a different level. People don't know the law as much us they think they do. It is my job to know it and be able to defend it or use it as needed to get the conviction. It isn't easy and you have to manipulate it sometimes and its wording, but I understand," Alex replied.

"So we are alike in that way. We both take care of injustices. The only thing that is different is that mine are at little more permanently removed from the world."

Alex laughed slightly and then said, "I guess you are right in that respect."

Liv laughed, too. She took another sip of her coffee. She finally turned to look at Alex. She smiled at her when Alex turned to catch her looking before they both took another drink of coffee.

"What do you want to do tomorrow?" Liv asked her, turning back to look out at the lake.

"I don't know. We are on a lake. We could go boating or something."

"You got a boating license I don't know about?" Liv asked her.

"No, I don't. But, I am sure that it isn't hard to get one. You don't have one?" Alex asked in return.

"I have one, but I don't know if the great State of Tennessee will take it. Mine is a little more...how shall we say? Military grade licensing. I don't like having to explain that if I don't have to. It makes some things a little more difficult. Plus, we are trying to maintain a low profile. We can't really do that if I am out flashing credentials. I am not supposed to be noticed. I have to blend in with the locals. Hence, why I have no tattoos or other distinguishing marks," Liv answered.

"What about your scars?"

"What about them?"

"They define you," Alex quipped.

"That they do, but they aren't military IDs or government credentials. And, no one can see them without me letting them. I'll look into it if you really want to go. I'll see what I can find out."

"Really? That is all it takes? Just me asking?" Alex questioned.

"I have no need to punish you. If you want to do something that we might be able to do, then we will do it. I will have to research it and make sure that I have certain particular safety measures and the like in place before we can do it. But, taking a boat out on the lake doesn't seem to be too hazardous. I don`t see much in the way of possible problems, unless you can't swim or they don't give us life jackets to wear. Other than that, it should be doable, if you wish," Liv told her.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I am not your jailer. I am your protection. As soon as you realized that, it made my job simpler."

"Who says that I realized that?"

"Oh, trust me, Princess, you know that I have your back and that I will make sure that you set to court on time and in one piece," Liv quipped.

"Do I?"'

"Yes, because if you didn't, you would have run away from me by now. I think that was the problem with all the other protection details that they gave you. You didn't feel safe with them. Trust me when I say I understand that completely. They don`t have the training that I do. They don`t see the threats that I do. They don`t have to, but I did. It was my life if I didn't," Liv told her.


	15. Chapter 15

Liv got on her laptop and reserved a small pontoon boat. After she arranged for an early afternoon harbor time, she made sure to pull her license and doctored it enough that no one would ask. She sipped some coffee while she found her records and began to "update" them to Tennessee's standards. It would make things easier for them when they got to the harbor.

She sipped her coffee some more and was thankful for her training with Cole. He truly had taught her a lot more than she realized during their sessions. She smiled as she drank more coffee. She knew that she should make some more or go to bed, but she wasn't mentally ready to go to sleep. She knew that Cole was worried about her and she knew that he would protect them both. She sipped her coffee and wondered if she would go back to him once this assignment was over. She really didn't have a home. She didn't have a place to go. She was like so many that have served…just adrift through life.

She got up and decided that going to bed was the best the thing that she could do for herself at the moment. She headed back into the kitchen to set the coffee maker for the morning. Once it was set, she rinsed out her cup and put it in the dishwasher. She was about to head to her bedroom when she looked up and saw Alex watching her.

"Can't sleep?" Alex asked her.

"Not that I ever really do, but no, I was actually heading to bed. Did something bother you? Can you not sleep?" Liv asked her, coming out of the kitchen.

She looked Alex up and down trying to figure out if she was hurt or something. She didn't see anything physically wrong with her, but there was something in her eyes. Liv couldn't put her finger on it, but she could see it plain as day. Alex was emotional and she didn't know how to deal with it. Emotions got you killed. She knew that lesson first hand. She had been trained to not show emotion and get the job done, but Alex wasn't a normal job.

"I miss my own bed is all. I'll be able to sleep when I go to bed. It really isn't that late."

"It is past midnight," Liv stated matter-of-factly.

"That would be an abnormally early bedtime for me back in New York," Alex answered.

"Did you not sleep much?"

"No, I really didn't. I was always trying to prepare for court. It was a necessary evil. I not only had to look professional. I had to look good and sound good while I did my job. I am not ashamed to admit that I was good at it," Alex replied.

"I've seen your cases and your file. I know that you were good. Hell, it seems you were one of the best. But, it was your sheer determination that pushed you into your current predicament. I know that there were three others before you took them. What was it about that case that made you feel like you had to win? What was pushing you so hard?"

"Justice," Alex replied simply.

"Justice? What about justice? You think that you can really affect the world from your chair in a court room? That isn't justice that is playing with fate by jury."

"That is justice in this country," Liv stated.

"True, we put the criminal's fate in the hands of others, but there has to be someone who is willing to stand there and present the case before them. There has to be someone who will stand up and tell them why what they did was wrong," Alex told her.

"You have valid points. I am not trying to disagree with you. I have just been taught differently. But, I think that has more to do with our jobs and upbringing more than anything else. The justice system needs more people like you, but I think that need more people like you in high power. Then, maybe a difference would actually happen," Liv added.

"You are just trying to placate me."

"Not really. I am just tired and I am sure that this conversation is best saved for a later date. There is no reason to fight about something we are possibly never going to see eye to eye on. I think that it would be safer just to let it drop."

"I wasn't trying to start an argument."

"I know. I might have. It is something that I do. It helps me get more information."

"What more information do you need about me? You got an entire dossier on me from the Alphabets, as you put it. You had your mind made up about me before you even met me."

"I wasn't far off with my judgments."

"Really? And how is that? Do you care to explain?"

"Not really."

"Of course not, go on and hide behind that tough girl attitude, Liv, but know this: I can see through it."

"There is nothing to hide, so that doesn't surprise me."

"Yes, there is and you know it. You are hiding so much behind that butchness that you wouldn't know what to do if a true emotion walked up and bit you on the ass. But, that is your prerogative. I am going back to bed. Good night, Liv," Alex told her, leaving before she could respond.

Liv stood there for a minute and wondered what she meant. She didn't hide behind her training. Her training made her more aware of everything around her, even her emotions. She kept them at bay because it was safer and it was better for Liv in the end.

She knew that Alex was a beautiful woman and one hell of a lawyer, but they were from two different worlds. She shook her head as soon as the thoughts came in it. She couldn't look at Alex as anything more than a mark. If she did, she was liable to get hurt and she didn't think that she would be able to survive it, again. No, Alex was so far off limits that Liv wondered how long they would be able to stay together before she pushed. She couldn't leave her side, but she would have to find a way to be near enough to protect.

She pulled out a burner cell from her bag and called Cole. He would know what to do. He warned her that she might get too close and she needed to make sure that she took care of it before anything actually happened.

"Yes, Benson, what do you need now?"

"To talk," she said quietly as she walked out onto the deck.

She knew that she didn't want Alex to hear her conversation, but part of her was also looking for the quiet of the night. She hated to admit to Cole that he might be right, but she needed someone to talk to and unfortunately, it couldn't be Alex. He would just have to understand.

"About?"

"I don't think that I am the right one for this case."

"You don't?"

"No, I don't. I think that she needs someone more…specialized in protection. She needs a body guard, not a killer," Liv told him.

"And, is that what you think you are?"

"I am a killer. I am a paid mercenary for the government. I am an assassin, nothing more, nothing less. I think that you would be hard pressed to find anyone to disagree with that statement who actually knows me, Cole and you know that," she hissed in the phone.

"That is where you are wrong, Lieutenant. You are a survivor. You are a patriot and loyal not only to your country, but your men and your beliefs. You fight because you can and you have the training and stomach for it. Not everyone can do that, Olivia and you know that. That girl has you spooked, but I don't understand why? What is it about Alex that frightens you?"

"She doesn't frighten me," Liv lied.

"She reminds you of Yulia, doesn't she?"

"More than I want to admit," Liv stated.

"I wondered how long it would take you to see her as a woman and not a mark."

"You're not helping, Old Man."

"I am not trying to help in that department. She needs you and you need her. We both know that the suits of the Alphabets can't protect her, not like you can. You will be the only thing that makes sure that she gets to that courthouse. They don't care enough about her to see it through. They'll do their best, but she would get loose and that would be that."

"I know that," Liv replied.

"Then buck up and deal with it. You really are her only true chance and I think that she knows it, now, too. Look, I know that she might remind you of Yulia, but she isn't her. That woman is Alexandra Cabot the terror of the New York Prosecution office, better known now as Emily Sullivan, non-descript Midwestern American."

"I know that, too."

"Then, what seems to be the problem."

"I think I care for her too much."

"I don't see the problem in that."

"Why not?"

"Because it means that you'll keep her alive."

"SARGE!"

"Listen, Girlie, this isn't Kiev. This is the real world and welcome to it. You want to find your peace, then find it. But, first befriend that woman and learn how to act properly in public before they unleash you on the rest of the populace. Just think of this as a trial run of retirement."

"Cole, I don't think that is going to help."

"Where are you anyway?"

"Tennessee."

"Where in Tennessee?"

"Paris," Liv replied.

"You took her to Paris? Wow, I am sure that was shock to her system. Wish I could have seen her face when all the 'Godly' folk started inviting y'all to Sunday Service. That must have been a sight. Well, your face would have been, too, but wow, just wow, you went to Paris."

"We did. It was odd. And, you would have laughed."

"She's understands you better than you think, Liv."

"Umm…where did that come from?"

"Just a thought from an old friend, Girlie. Just remember to be patient with her when you can. I know that it will be hard and tedious for you at times, but not all of your training is going to help you with this missing. I know that you know how to function in public, Liv, but this is different. You've never been one to deal with personal matters very well in a private setting. And now, your life is tangled with hers in nothing but a private setting. Just relax, sit back and think things through before you do anything rash," Cole told her.

"Like what?"

"Do you think she's pretty?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Do you think she's pretty?"

"Cole, where are you going with this?" Liv asked him.

"Just answer the question, Liv. And, answer it honestly. Do you think that she is pretty?"

"Yes."

"You like her, don't you?"

"Define like."

"Olivia Benson, you like her, don't you? That is the real reason that you called. You like her and you don't know what to do about it, isn't it?"

"No."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Because we were taught to trust no one," Liv answered.

"When was the last time you went on a date?"

"I was eighteen and in New York, before I joined the Army, why?"

"Seriously…what about…okay, when was the last time that you went somewhere with someone other than someone in the unit, maybe someone who didn't really know what you did, and just had fun?" Cole asked her.

"Yulia and in Kiev?"

"So, four plus years?"

"Yes."

"You've forgotten what it was like to have someone else care about you, didn't you?"

"Besides, you and the guys, yes."

"She is the one that shot you, isn't she?"

"Cole…"

"Look, I know that you told me that it was Sasha's men. We rounded them all up. They all knew who you were, but they all swore they never touched you. It was Yulia, wasn't it?"

"I need to go to bed."

"Liv…"

"What do you want me to tell you, Cole? Yes, Yulia is the one who shot me. Should I have seen it coming? Probably, but there is only so much cover that you can take from an AK47 when you are alone and somewhere you don't know. I still don't know how the hell you found me so fast and frankly, I don't care. Yulia shot me. She was the one that tried to kill and I can't blame her for that. I am the one that killed her father. I am the one that ended her life."

"You didn't kill her, Liv. I know that. I also know that she was found dead surrounded by five of Sasha's men. There were bullet holes everywhere and in everyone. I was amazed that you actually still had a pulse when I got you out."

"You killed her? You killed Yulia? Why?"

"I had to."

"But, why?"

"Because, she knew who you were and she wouldn't stop until you were dead. It was either her or you and I knew that I couldn't let you make that call. The guards all just showed up at the wrong time. I barely had enough time to get your rifle to shoot them."

"You covered it all up?"

"No, I made an insane international incident seem more plausible. I did my job. We took out the threat, made it look like a rival gang did it, and then I got you the Hell out of the Ukraine. It was nothing that I had done before. I just wasn't expecting to find you like Swiss cheese."

"You killed her?"

"Yes, I did it for you."

"I can't believe that you killed her."

"Listen to me, Liv. I didn't take joy in it. I knew that she meant something to you, but you couldn't see that she was learning to take over the arms business from her father. Sasha was a fool when it came to his daughter. She was a master manipulator. Unfortunately, the 'Unit' found out about her ambitions a little too late. I was dispatched to remove you and take care of the threats. She wasn't the sweet innocent woman you thought she was."

"That is why there is a lot of redaction?"

"Yes, we had to cover up most of the op even to the Alphabets. Things went south quickly. It was like Colombia, when we could just toss up to the cartels and make it fourth page news. This might have started a war. We needed to protect everyone, including you, even if it meant from yourself," Cole explained.

"You lied to me?"

"To protect you," he answered.

"And, I am supposed to believe you."

"Do you remember what happened in Boston?"

"In Iran?"

"Yes."

"How could I not?" Liv asked.

"Then you know that what I did, I did out of love and respect for you, Girlie."

Liv was quiet for a few moments. She took a deep breath and sighed it out. She looked at the lake hoping that it would help her find the calm that heart was so desperate for.

"I know, Sarge. I know. I need to go."

"Lieutenant, I am not saying these things to hurt you, but it wouldn't hurt for you to find someone besides me to talk to about things. Alex is easy to look at and she doesn't seem to judge you for what you did in your past. Those can be important things. I am not saying fall in love with the woman. I am saying talking to her might heal your heart more than you think."

"Good-bye, Cole," she said hanging up.

She stood on the deck. A flurry of emotions crossed through her mind and she realized that she wouldn't be sleeping at all now. She would start to plan for their next stop tomorrow, after their boat ride. They needed move. Because now, she didn't know how much she could trust Cole anymore. He had been like a father figure to her and now, he had destroyed her faith in him. She wondered why he would do that. Why did he wait until now to tell her that he was the one that killed Yulia? Why didn't he tell that four years ago when she woke up? Why?


	16. Chapter 16

Liv woke up. She was warmer than normal. She felt that her shirt had ridden up and her left hand was directly under her left breast. Her right leg was cocked and her foot was tucked up under her left knee. Her right hand was haphazardly thrown over her head. The light from the windows was only partially dimmed by the thin vinyl blinds and the sheer curtains.

She rolled her head to the side. She looked at the window and blinked. She couldn't remember going to bed, but it was obvious that she had. She moved to sit up and that is when she realized that Alex was in the bed with her. Her mind began to race. Did she go to Alex's room? She immediately took in the surroundings of the room and realized that she was in her room in the cabin. That meant that Alex had come to her bed at some time in the night.

"Good morning," Alex said, groggily as she woke up beside her.

"Morning" Liv responded automatically.

Alex gave her a lazy smile and got out of the bed. Liv just stared at her as she crossed the room. Alex stopped at the door way and smiled at Liv, again. She made a motion to say something and then shut her mouth. She watched Liv for a second, waiting for the questions, but when they didn't come quickly, she started out the door before she said anything.

"Gel up. I'll get breakfast ready. I can't wait to go out on the lake today. I'll go make some sandwiches so we can have a picnic while were out. We act like tourists today. It'll be fun."

Liv just stared. She blinked a few times and Alex was gone. She looked down at herself. She had already taken in Alex's long legs beneath the boy shorts and tank top that she had been wearing. Liv had to shake herself. She couldn't believe that she had shared a bed with her and she wasn't in anything but a pair of boxes and an old ratty t-shirt.

"Well that would explain the warmth, but that still doesn't explain the why," she said to herself.

She quickly grabbed a pair of loose fitting jeans and put them on. She was determined to find out why Alex was in her bed that morning and she wasn't going to rest until she knew. She would take them out on the pontoon boat she'd rented, and they would have fun, but Liv would get her answers. She had to know. She didn't know what to think, but she was worried about Alex's explanations, too.

She made her way up the hall and into the kitchen. Alex pushed a mug of coffee at her as she sat on a bar stool at the high counter/bar that surrounded the sink. She was now sitting where Alex had been while she had been making dinner the night before.

"How do you want your eggs?" Alex asked turning back around to the stove.

"Scrambled?"

"That didn't sound like you were too sure. You okay? I don't have to make eggs if you don't want any," Alex told her, turning back around to face her through the cutout between the cabinets.

"I am fine. Sorry. No, scrambled is fine or however you are making yours will be fine, too."

"Liv, what's wrong?" Alex asked, taking off her glasses and setting them on the counter.

"Can you tell me something?"

"Sure."

"Why were you in my bed?" Liv asked.

AOAOAOAOA The night before AOAOAOAOA

Liv was angry and hurt. She couldn't believe that Cole would do that. She couldn't believe that he had actually lied...to her. She knew that he did it to protect her but that didn't make it any easier. She was angry. She was furious. She needed to let it go. It was four years ago and there was nothing that she could do about it now. She could call in some favors, but what good would it actually do for her?

Nothing, she would have answers to questions that she never thought to ask. She didn't know if she was angrier with Cole for killing Yulia or herself for never suspecting that Yulia was as ruthless as her father, Sasha Plushenko. She couldn't answer that question and it hurt her brain and her heart.

She walked slowly to bed. She decided that she just needed some sleep. She needed to work through this new information and turmoil in her head. There was no one else who could help her. She needed to do this on her own. She didn't want to lose Cole, but she was having a hard time right now dealing with the information. She sighed as she entered her room.

She tore off her blouse and t-shirt. She stood before the mirror and looked at her marred torso. Her fingers ran over the random circular scars from the bullets. She touched each one with a new reverence as the memories of that day flooded her mind. She didn`t need this now. She didn't need the nightmares and the memories. She just needed sleep.

Quickly she tore into a drawer and pulled out an old and very-worn Army t-shirt. She put it on, covering up the scars und memories, before looking back into the mirror. With the scars hidden from view, her mind began to quieten down again. She sighed. It was definitely going to be a long night.

She slowly took off her jeans and threw them in the corner. She ripped her underwear off and tossed them into the pile with her jeans and blouse. She fished through the chest o' drawers and found some boxers. She put them on and turned to go to bed.

She lay down and stared at the ceiling. The pale whiteness of the ceiling only gave her mind a canvas for her memories and like a movie they played before her eyes. She couldn't believe that she hadn't realized the truth before. She could remember, now, looking back on certain days with Yulia that Cole was lurking in the distance. She always disregarded it as they were making sure that she was still in control of her operation and herself while she was still getting the intel on Sasha. Now, she knew the truth. He was watching Yulia while she was watching Sasha.

She shook her head and wondered if she would have done anything differently. Would she have walked away once she knew that Yulia was a target, too? She doubted it and Cole knew her enough to know that she was under and in extremely deep with the family. She wouldn't have been able to just walk away and pull the trigger. No, it had to be done up close and personal. There had been no other way. She could see that, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

She thought back to her debriefings. They were all very closed lipped on the survivors of Plushenko's arms business. She had been purposely asking about Yulia until Cole told her to drop it and forget about her. She had dismissed it then thinking that Cole was doing it to help her move on and focus on the mission at hand.

Now, she knew. He felt guilty. She had gotten in too deep and he had to pull her out. He was just doing his job. She knew that, but it didn't make the pain any less painful for her.

She knew that life wasn't fair. She was the prime example of that with her upbringing. It made her who she was. She wasn't quick to trust or emotion. Cole was one of the few that had broken through her armor and got inside. And, now, he had broken her trust by not telling her about Yulia and his involvement. It hurt, but she just didn't understand why. Why hadn't he told her? Why?

She tossed and turned for what seemed like hours before she couldn't take the confines of her bed any longer. She jumped out of it, grabbed a thin, long sleeved shirt and the burner cell phone she had used earlier. She was out of her room before she realized what she was doing. She made her way down the hall and slowly opened Alex's door.

She watched her sleeping and sighed. Alex wasn't Yulia. She wasn't going to hurt her. Cole had even made a point to tell her that at his farm. All she had to do was give Alex a chance, but now, she didn't know if she could. It seemed like everything had been a lie. She stole another glance at the slumbering blonde angel and shut the door, retreating from her room as quietly as she had entered. It wouldn't be fair to Alex to disturb her rest just because she couldn't sleep.

Minutes later, Liv found herself on the deck again staring at the night-calmed waters of the lake. The peaceful and serene sight actually began to invade her and bring up a calmness that Liv needed, desired, and wanted. It was a new beginning, a beginning with the truth, but she so desperately needed it. Yulia had destroyed her and she had to admit that the last four years she had spent more time running from the memories than actually processing them to deal with it.

She didn't realize that she was calling Cole again, until he answered.

"Not done yelling at me?"

"Why?" she asked him simply.

"She had gotten larger than her father. She was buying tanks, missiles, weapons from the former Russian states and selling them to the highest bidders all over Southeastern Asia. We couldn't let those arms fall into terrorists' hands," Cole told her.

"And Sasha didn't know?"

"He had no clue that his own daughter was amassing wealth, contacts and leads right from under him. He wasn't exactly a likeable man. She was. Most of her buyers didn't care that she was a woman. She delivered what she promised when she promised. Her father has started to gain a reputation of being late with deliveries or asking for more money to speed up the process."

"He got greedy."

"Yes, he did and she saw it. His own lieutenants were starting to question him openly on channels and most were seeing what Yulia was doing. She wasn't ruthless but she was smart. No one crossed more than once and those that did didn't live long enough to learn from their first mistake. Her father would just kill them, torture them. She removed them from the picture."

"But, she wasn't ruthless about it."

"It only took two mishaps and the buyers no longer questioned her abilities. They knew better. Her reputation was building while her father's was falling. Sasha was getting desperate and we knew it. That is why you were sent in. We needed to know how desperate he was. He still didn't know that Yulia was undermining him. Hell, at that point, we didn't either. No one in the intelligence communities did. She was a ghost and she was very good at hiding her abilities."

"She was wickedly smart wasn't she?"

"I would hope so, considering who she chose to teach her things."

"What does that mean?" Liv asked him.

"She learned arms dealing and smuggling from her father. She learned how to hack computers and use them to help her hide while she was school in the States. She went to MIT. She learned our systems quickly. It was another reason that she was so good at hiding her movements from us. She was watching us as much as we were watching her. It was another way to stay ahead of the game. And trust me, she upped the ante as she played by our rules every day," Cole stated.

"Did she know who I was?" Liv asked.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I didn't have time to interrogate her when I was shooting at her. I was too busy trying to stay alive and keep her from killing you. She did something as she lay dying on the floor, but it wasn't Russian, Ukrainian or English. I couldn't understand it."

"What did she say?" Liv asked.

" _Skažy joj, što vieĺmi škada. Ničoha asabistaha; byla sprava. Ja sapraŭdy klapacicca pra jaje._ "

Liv gasped. She understood every word that he had spoken. Fresh tears came to her eyes before she exclaimed into the phone.

"Shit!"

"What?" Cole asked, realizing that Liv understood it.

"It is Belarussian. She told you to tell me that it wasn't personal. It was business and that she was sorry," Liv told him.

"Is that all?"

"No, it wasn't."

"Do I want to know?" Cole asked her.

"Probably not."

"She told me that she loved you, didn't she?"

"In her own way, yes, she did," Liv answered and hung up.


	17. Chapter 17

"Alex, are you going to tell me why you were in my bed last night?" Liv asked again.

Alex hadn't realized that she was staring at a very confused looking Liv over her coffee mug. She had been making breakfast. She remembered asking Liv how she wanted her eggs when they both sort of spaced out. It had only been two minutes though.

"The same reason that you check on me every night," Alex replied.

Liv gave her a look and lowered her head. She didn't know what to say. She hadn't expected that answer and now she didn't know how to process it.

"Look, Liv, you needed a friend. You couldn't sleep. I came in there and held you for a little while until we both feel asleep. Don't get weird on me now," Alex told as she turned around back to the stove.

"How did you know?" Liv asked, staring at the back of the blonde's head.

"Because you are the only one who has trouble sleeping," Alex admitted.

AOAOAOAOA Earlier in the wee hours of the morning AOAOAOAOA

Alex woke up just enough to know that Liv had opened her door to check on her like she did almost every night since they left New York. She made sure that she didn't alert Liv that she was still awake. She heard her earlier on the phone. She couldn't make out the specifics of the argument but she knew that it had thoroughly upset Liv to her core. Alex wanted to comfort her guardian, but she didn't know how. Liv wasn't exactly approachable.

Alex sighed and got out of bed. She paced around her room again for the fourth night in a row. It was too quiet here. At least at Cole's farm, someone was always moving. Cole's late nights helped her sleep because there was more than just "country noise." She went to look out the window that faced the deck. She knew that Liv would be furious with her if she saw her looking out, but she was just checking on the woman.

She saw Liv pacing. She could tell that she was mentally working something out while she wore down the deck boards with her feet. It was a weird sight to see Liv so shaken by whatever news she got from the phone earlier. She watched as Liv pulled the phone out and called someone again. She saw the look on her face in the moonlight when she heard Liv clearly ask "why?"

Alex's heart dropped. She didn't have to think about what little she knew about Liv to know that it had to deal with Kiev and Yulia. She watched as the emotions covered Liv's face. She had to stop herself from going to her while she was still on the phone. She knew that Liv wouldn't ask for help. She would have to give it to her freely.

She waited until she heard Liv come back into the cabin. She knew that she would check on Alex again before going back to bed. Alex clambered back into the bed and waited. It only took another five minutes, but like everything else predictable that Liv did, she slowly opened the door into Alex's room and checked on her. Alex made a show of sighing and rolling over to hide her face. She heard her door close and then the soft steps of Liv walking away.

She waited for about ten minutes before she got up. She went into the kitchen. She checked the coffee pot to see that Liv had already set its alarm. She got herself a glass of water and drank it slowly. She just knew that the sound of the faucet would have gotten Liv's attention, but she never came to investigate. Alex put the glass in the sink and made her way down the hall.

She hesitated outside of Liv's room. She didn't know if she should knock or just enter. It was then that she heard the strangled sobs of Liv. She didn't wait. She just went in. She walked around the bed and got in it.

If Liv felt her presence, she didn't say anything. Alex reached across the bed and pulled the older brunette into her arms. Alex felt her struggle against the cuddle for a minute before her body must have surrendered against her will. Alex couldn't help but comfort the woman.

She felt Liv's warmth against her body and had to will herself to not become aroused. It was hard, but she doubted that Liv would appreciate a good angry fuck at that moment. It was an idea that didn't need to be in Alex's head.

She lay on her back and pulled Liv's lithe and muscular form against her side. She tucked her head in the crease of her shoulder and neck. Her left hand found its way to the back of her head and she slowly kneaded her scalp, willing Liv to relax. She felt Liv's left arm tighten across her torso at the gesture. She wrapped her right arm around her back and rubbed circles.

She could feel the hot wet tears of anguish flowing down onto her shoulder. She didn't care. She just pulled her closer. Liv molded herself to Alex's side. Alex felt her sigh against her chest. She made her body not react to the intimacy of the gesture as she couldn't to soothe.

"Do you want to talk?"

"No," Liv told her.

"That's fine. Get some sleep. We can talk about it later, when you're ready," Alex told her.

"I am never going to be ready," Liv admitted.

"Just relax tonight, Liv. Tomorrow is another day. We'll deal with it then. Just sleep."

"What about you?"

"I'll sleep soon. Don't worry about me. I am fine," Alex lied.

Her body was on fire. It was begging for her to touch Liv more. Her mind was telling her body to calm down, but she was afraid that was going to lose the battle. She hoped that Liv went to sleep soon because she didn`t know how long she would be able to hold her without wanting to touch her more. Fortunately, she didn't have to wait long. Liv rolled over out of her embrace and slept.

Sure, Liv thrashed around and more than once, Alex had to block a stray arm. She woke at every whimper and sigh. She pulled Liv into her embrace twice more when it seemed like the dreams were winning. Both times, Liv quietened and fell back into a deep sleep. Alex willed herself back to sleep each time, hoping that Liv would open up to her in the morning.

AOAOAOA Present Morning AOAOAOAOA

"Alex?"

"You couldn't sleep. I held you. I don't know what else you want to know," Alex told her.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you do that?" Liv asked her.

"Because you needed it."

Liv just stared at her. She didn't know what to say. She felt her pulse race and her blood boil at the thought of being in Alex's arms. It was a like dream, a lustful dream, and she missed it.

"Thank you," Liv replied quietly, as she got up and went back into her room.

Alex turned around in time to hear Liv`s bedroom door click shut. She was alone. She didn't want to push the issue. She knew that Liv might need time, but she hoped that she would still take her out on the lake. She did want things to be weirder than they already were between them.

She turned back around and plated the eggs and sausage that she had fried. She pulled out some hash browns out the freezer and began to fry them up. She grabbed a glass of milk and drank it, too, before she heard the door open and close again. When she turned around this time, Liv was back.

"Nice mustache," Liv told her jokingly.

"Huh?"

"Milk-stash," Liv stated, pointing to her upper lip.

Alex touched her lips and brushed her fingers across them, rubbing the milk away. She smiled as she turned around and grabbed two plates from the cabinet. Before Liv could complain about the amount of food on her plate, Alex had it plated and sitting in front of her with a fork.

"Eat," she commanded simply.

Liv smiled and picked up the fork. She ate without any fanfare and without any complaints. Alex plated herself some of the food and then joined Liv at the counter-top bar on the other stool. They both ate in silence.

It wasn't until she was sitting next to Liv that she noticed that she had dressed. She was wearing a pair of slim fit blue jeans and had changed shirts into a light blue dressy t-shirt with a white tank top underneath. She was still barefoot, which made Alex smile. She looked more relaxed than she had in days. Whatever happened to her, Alex knew that it was breaking her.

It didn't matter that they really weren't friends, that their relationship was a business arrangement. She hoped that they could become friends at least. It seemed that they only had each other to depend on for the moment. It would make sense that they would lean on each other for stability. It wasn't a sign of weakness. It was a sign of strength. She just needed Liv to understand that.

"What kinda sandwich do you want?"

"Huh?" Liv replied as Alex broke her thoughts.

"Sandwich'? Boat ride? Picnic? What kind?"

"Oh, whatever, it doesn't matter."

"O...kay? Do we have a cooler? I don't want them to go bad."

"Yeah, I got one the other day. It isn't anything fancy, but it should work for our needs. I don't like things to go to waste, so whatever we can take with us when we leave better fit in it." Liv stated.

"Yes, ma'am," Alex replied and gave her at mock salute.

"There is no need for that. I'll go get it. I figured that you would want to leave us soon as possible. We'll have all day. So, take whatever else you think that you might need while we're on the water."

"Are you bringing a gun?"

"I always do."

"Where will you put it?"

"I will keep it on myself for the most part."

"But, what if we get in the water?"

"We?"

"Don't like to swim?" Alex asked her.

"I never said that."

"So, where will you put it, if you go swimming?" Alex questioned.

"I deal with that when the time comes. Don't worry about it. I have my ways."

"I just know that wet ammo has a tendency to not fire well."

"That is an understatement," Liv added as she scrunched up her face.

"I take it that you had a very 'wet' operation, once," Alex replied.

'Wet doesn't even begin to explain that mission."

"Care to elaborate on that some more?"

"You know that I can't."

"Well, that is no fun," Alex teased her. "I am going to get dressed. I hope that you'll at least get in the water with me. I hate to swim alone."

Liv watched her go, wondering where the Hell this version of Alex came from. What was it about the lake that caused the both to start letting their guard down. It didn't make sense. She shook her head, but dealt with their dishes. Once she was done, she headed out to the sedan to get the cooler that she had indeed purchased the day before.

She looked out at the lake. It was still early but she could already make out the forms of some other people on boats. She hoped that she could get them in cove that wasn't that busy. She didn't want to run the risk of being around too many people if she didn't have to be. It made protecting Alex harder. She knew that she didn't really need to be that paranoid, but it was always better to be vigilant.

She walked back up onto the deck. She took another look around at the other cabins. She was glad that theirs was the furthest from the main lodge, but that it was situated in a position that they were close to the road if they needed to get away. It was just a stroke of luck that they had gotten that cabin.

She knew it, but she didn't want to jinx it, either. She could see Alex thru the window from where she was standing. She couldn't scold her for that, because of the amount of windows in the cabin. It wasn't an ideal place to defend someone, but she made it work to her advantage. It was another reason that she was chosen for this mission.

She made her way back into the cabin and stopped short of kitchen. Alex was standing there with a pair of cut offs, light blue denim shorts and had put her tank top back on over what looked to be a bright red bikini. She made her mouth stayed closed when she wanted to drop it to the floor.

"You okay?" Alex asked as she took the cooler from Liv.

"Yeah, I am fine."

"Alright, well go get your protective gear. I am almost ready. I have everything else in that bag there. So, whenever you`re ready, I'll be ready to go," Alex told her as she moved around the kitchen with a practiced eased.

Liv just watched her move. There was just something about Alex that made Liv want to watch. She still couldn't put her finger on it. She knew that Alex was beautiful. Anyone with a pulse could see that, but there was more to her. Sure, they were from two different sides of the tracks, but they seemed to understand each other. It only made her wonder why more.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you staring at?" Alex asked.

"Umm...sorry. I'll just go get my day pack," Liv stated, dropping her head and walking to her room.

What she didn't notice was Alex's smile as she left. Alex didn't know what it was about herself that made Liv uneasy. Cole had mentioned Yulia, once. She figured that Liv must have a thing for blondes. She knew that she could use this too her advantage and truth he told if Liv had been a male agent, she would. Liv was different. There was a fragility to her that Alex could identify with that she could understand, and she didn't know why. They really didn't have anything in common, but it seemed that they were starting to be attracted to one another. At least, Alex hoped it wasn't one-sided.


	18. Chapter 18

She couldn't believe the ease in which Liv drove the car. She didn't even care that Liv never let her drive. It was easy to give up the control on that aspect of her life to Liv. She knew that it was better for Liv to do the driving anyway. But, that wasn't it. There was just something about the way that Liv drove a car. It was like she was part of it.

"What?"

"What?" Alex replied.

"You're staring at me. What is it? What are you staring at?" Liv asked her.

"Where did you learn to drive like that?"

"Drive like what?"

"Like you are an extension of the car," Alex told her.

"I was trained. Everything that I do has to be an extension of myself. I have to become part of it and it part of me. If I can't trust myself and my equipment, then I can't do my job effectively."

"Your rifle is in the trunk, isn't it?"

"Always, yes," Liv answered.

"Do you feel better knowing that it is there?"

"It has been a part of my life for so long that I don't know how to function without it being there. It is my rifle. There are many like it, but it is truly mine. It has been modified for my body and my line of sight. I have shot over ten thousand rounds through it. No one else can say that."

"I understand all that, Liv, but what are you going to do when you retire and you have no need for it anymore? What are you going to do then? What will become of your rifle?"

"I will take it with me."

"They will let you do that?" Alex questioned.

"They will have no choice because they didn't buy it. That is truly my rifle. No one else will ever lay claim to it. I had it specifically made. It was adapted to me, piece by piece, until it became my masterpiece. And, then, it became part of me."

"You sound like a drone."

"I am a drone. That is how we are taught. First you slaughter the ego and the individual. Then, you rebuild it, mold it, and shape it into a member of the unit. Once the unit has been completed, the units will do as they are told for a common goal. It is all they know. It had become their function and their equipment is a vital member of the unit. Without training and equipment, the unit is just a gaggle of men together. They need a purpose, a goal, something to believe in, and they are given that and a new family, a band of brothers that they will willing die for and protect because in doing that, they are defending the nation that allows them the freedoms they enjoy."

"That was such a party answer."

"It is doctrine."

"I know," Alex stated.

"It is the same for you."

"No, it isn't."

"But, that is where you are wrong, Alex. You had the same training in law school. The professors opened your brains to let into the field. They taught you how to manipulate words and phrases, which led you to the learning of manipulation of people. Don't look at me like that. Lawyers manipulate so much sometimes, but the law and what the law represents is an extension of the lawyer. Without the law, the lawyer is nothing. It is the same for the soldier. If he has no mission, no weapon and no unit, he is lost in an abyss that he cannot find the way out."

"What does he do then?"

"He finds a new band of brothers to be with. He trades his weapon in for something else. He finds a new mission. But, most of all, he finds the way to survive and excel because that is what he has been trained to do. He has been taught on how to learn, adapt, overcome, and survive. That is his true mission, to survive until death," Liv stated.

"And, what are you going to do?" Alex asked, suddenly concerned about Liv would do once her mission was over and she finally, actually retired.

"I am going to find myself a plot of land near the ocean and the mountains, if possible. I am going to build a house and just live simply. I keep to myself, so I don't need to share it with anyone. And, I don't plan on finding another profession. I am not cut out to work in the civilian world. I think that I have proven that, time and again. I just want to relax and not have to worry about if someone is trying to kill me or looking for the next target," Liv answered.

"That sounds lonely."

"It sounds perfect for me."

Alex didn't add anything else to the conversation because she realized that they were at the harbor. Liv parked the car and got her day pack. She grabbed the cooler and began to head down the dock towards the boats. Alex watched her and grabbed her own bag. She caught up to Liv, quickly. Liv kept her eye on her and Alex knew it.

"This is us here, I think. Let me check in with the harbor master really quickly. Don't move from here. I can see you and I'll know your safe," Liv told her.

Alex stood there next to a pontoon boat and waited for Liv to return. She wasn't gone but a minute or two. She came back carrying and bright orange box, a walkie-talkie, and a set of keys.

"Yep, that's us. Go ahead a board and I'll get her ready to shove off. Put the cooler near the wheel there," Liv told her pointing. "You can put your bag under the bench seat in the back. It will keep everything dry there."

Alex did as she was asked. She watched as Liv untied the ropes and threw them onto the pontoon's floor. She stepped aboard the boat and headed to the wheel. She put the orange bag on the captain's chair and set the radio in the seat. She then tucked her bag under the wheel housing. Alex walked over to the captain's chair and stood waiting for further instructions. She watched as Liv tucked all the ropes up and secured all the doors on the sides of the boat. Once she was happy with their preparations, she went back to the captain's chair and started the boat.

"Should I hold on?" Alex asked her.

"No, this won't go that fast. You can stand there, if you would like. I'm going to get us out of the harbor and then we can decide where you want to go on the lake," Liv told her.

She slow piloted the pontoon out of the slip and out onto the main part of the lake. Alex was actually amazed at how she deft got them out into the deeper waters. She admired the way that Liv moved with the small ripples and waves caused by the other boats on the water. She melded with the pontoon boat the same way that melded with the car.

"Over there?" Liv asked breaking Alex's revere as she pointed out to a cove without a lot of other boaters or traffic.

Alex understood her reasoning and nodded. Liv moved the boat over towards the mouth of the cove and cut the engine. She grabbed the radio. She clipped it on her side. She walked to the back of the boat and dropped the anchor.

"Why did you do that?"

"I don't mind drifting, but I don't want to drift into anyone else or into any traffic."

"You gonna go swimming with me?" Alex asked.

"No, I am not."

"You got on a boat and brought me out here, but you aren't going to get in the water?"

"Nope, I am not. You can, but please stay near the boat. I want you to be able to get back if you need something without me needing to start the boat to get you."

"I understand. Thank you for letting me come out here. I know that this must be hard for you."

"It isn't hard for me. This isn't a really good place to defend from, but I can do it if I need to. Just please don't do anything that would cause me to have to do anything, okay?"

"Gotcha," Alex stated as she dropped her shorts.

She watched Liv's eyes as she took off her tank top. She wished that Liv would get in the water, but she knew that she wouldn't. She knew that Liv would pace around on the boat while she was in the water. She just wished that Liv would actually just let loose and relax. She wasn't going to require her to have fun, but she could let her proverbial hair down.

Alex walked to the front gate of the pontoon. She unlatched it. She turned around to look at Liv once more, hoping the sight of her in her red bikini would entice her to follow suit, and when it didn't, she jumped off the front of the pontoon into the water. Liv followed her to the gate and closed it, but didn't latch it. She dropped the ladder over the side and unlocked the side gate.

She watched Alex as she swam around and around the boat, never stopping for long. Liv had to admit that she was a good swimmer and the water did look inviting, but she needed to be able to get to Alex quickly if something happened. She couldn't do that in the water. Well, she could, but the water would slow her down.

At one point, Alex just lay back in the water and floated. She called up to Liv, who stood by the boat's fence and smiled down at her. They had only been on the water for about an hour or so. It wasn't yet noon, but they were both getting hungry.

"Wanna eat soon?" Alex asked as she started towards the boat.

"That sounds fine," Liv stated, before she straightened and looked out over the water.

"What is it?"

"Get on the boat," Liv said quietly.

"What?"

"Just get on the boat."

Alex swam quickly to the side where the ladder was and began to come up. When her head broke over the floor of the pontoon boat, she noticed that Liv had ditched her jeans and t-shirt into the captain's chair. Alex watched as she climbed up the side gate while Liv was stalking up to the front gate. She passed off the radio.

"Call in for an ambulance. Tell them we are at Leaf's Point Cove. Tell them to hurry. Then, stay by the wheel and don't move until I get back," Liv commanded her.

Alex didn't have time to respond before Liv was overboard with a beautiful dive. She raced across the water to the seemingly drowning swimmer. She had the swimmer in a make shift carry as she eased back through the water and towards their pontoon boat. Alex was still at the captain's chair standing there, staring at the side when Liv more or less tossed the kid up on the pontoon before she climbed up the ladder.

That was when the siren was heard. Liv began performing CPR on the small boy who couldn't have been more than twelve. She was into her second set of reps when the boy suddenly shot up and coughed up a lungful of water. The DNR ambulance boat pulled up next to them.

"Man overboard?" the EMT asked.

"Right here. This boy was drowning. I don't know how he got out so far on his own, but I saw him and got him. I think that he should be taken in and checked out," Liv told him.

"Well, thanks," he told her.

The other EMT came aboard and helped the first talk the boy over to their boat. He was alive and conscious, so it would be easy to get information out of him on their way back to their headquarters and possibly to a hospital. As they got him settled in, a DNR LEO came on aboard the pontoon and looked Liv up and down.

She knew that she must be a sight in her wet, white wife beater and black boy shorts, but she really didn't care at the moment. She had just saved that boy's life. A small smile crept across her face as she looked over to the shocked but impressed Alex.

"Ma'am, we are going to need your statement," the DNR officer told her.

"What about?"

"The incident."

"There was no incident."

"Ma'am, you just pulled that boy from the water and saved his life. I believe that would constitute an incident. It won't take long. It is just a few questions."

"I pulled him from the water, gave him CPR, and he coughed out some water. There isn't much else that I can tell you, officer. I don't know what else to tell you about it," Liv told him.

"You didn't see anything odd before you saw the boy?"

"No."

"What were you doing before you saw him?"

"I was on the boat. We were getting ready to have lunch. We packed sandwiches. She was coming back up from a swim when I saw him. I dove in, swam to him and brought him back here. The rest seems to be evident, right?" Liv replied.

"Yes, ma'am, it does," the officer replied. "But, I am still going to need you to come down to our station and fill out some paperwork. It doesn't have to be today, but soon."

"We are on vacation," Liv stated.

"I understand that, ma'am, but this is standard procedure."

"Sure, of course."

"Where y'all staying?"

"Paris Landing, cabin number 12," Liv told him.

She saw Alex watching her. Alex could tell that she was lying and she had a good guess as to why, but she held her tongue. Liv saw the understanding in her eyes.

"A contact number for you, if we have any more questions for you?"

"Sure, two nine seven, five five five, four three, one two."

"Thanks, ma'am, one last thing, though."

"Yeah?"

"What's your name?"

"Grayson Black," Liv lied. "We're from Chicago. She's Emily Korkena."

"Thanks, again, ma'am. That was a good save. Hope the rest of your day is uneventful."

He clambered off the pontoon and back into the DNR boat. They drove a way creating a small wake. Liv didn't wait until they were that far away before she started pulling up the anchor. Alex just locked all the gates to the fences and pulled up the ladder. She seemed to realize that their day on the lake was over.

"Now what?"

"Now we leave."

"Leave?"

"Yup, we're leaving," Liv stated as she got back to the wheel to pilot the pontoon back to the harbor across the lake.

"Where we going?"

"That, my dear, is up to you," Liv told her.

"Me?"

"This is your 'vacation,' remember," Liv stated.

Alex just stared at her as she navigated back across the water. Finally, Liv couldn't take it anymore. She didn't know what Alex was staring at. She pulled back on the throttle and eased the pontoon back into its slip.

"What Alex? What is it? You have been staring at me the entire time back."

"There are so many," Alex replied quietly.

"So many what?" Liv asked her confused.

"Scars…"


	19. Chapter 19

Alex didn't believe that Liv could be self-conscious, but she was wrong. As soon as they were back to the dock and tied off, Liv stalked up to the sedan and tore through a bag in the trunk until she found another shirt. She ripped the soaking wet wife-beater off and replaced with the new shirt. Then, she pulled on her jeans. She stowed the cooler and their bags. Alex just watched her. She didn't know what to say and didn't have time to do anything, either.

The harbor master met Liv at the boat and checked it out. She signed for their time and gave him back the orange safety bag and walkie-talkie. He said something to Liv, who just smiled and nodded before she headed back to the car. Alex followed her then.

"Ready?" Liv asked as they neared the car.

"Are we going to talk about what happened?" Alex questioned as she got in the passenger side.

"What do you need to discuss?"

"Liv…"

"I don't know what you want me to say. I don't know what to say right now. Is there some social protocol that I don't know? What is it, Alex?"

"I am sorry."

"For what?"

"This is all my fault," Alex stated. "I should've kept my mouth shut. I am sorry."

"You didn't do anything, Alex. That boy was way too far out on his own and if he was with a boating party, he should have had a vest on. There was nothing that you could have done that would have predicted that would happen. Don't worry about it."

"That isn't what I was talking about," Alex replied.

"Then, what?"

"Your scars…"

"What about them?"

"Are you ashamed of them?" Alex asked, noticing the speed in which Liv was driving back to the cabin and giving her a worried look.

She knew that Liv caught her look in her periphery. Liv for her part eased off the gas some, but not a lot. They had some time before anyone came looking for them for more of a story, especially the local news media.

"No, I am not."

"Then, why are you in such a hurry to leave?"

"We need to be out of town in a few hours."

"Why? Tell me why? I am going to do as you ask, but just tell me why?"

"I just saved a boy's life in a small town. The local media will be all over it. They will get the DNR officer to spill enough about us for them to look for us for an interview. You can't be on camera. And, you definitely don't need to be seen with me. We need to be out of town before the gossip of the rescue spreads. We can be angels today for him and nothing more," Liv said.

"That makes sense. Thank you," Alex replied, noticing Liv's arching eyebrow at her thanks. "You know for taking me and actually telling me your reasoning."

"I am still going to expect you to be ready to go within the hour."

"I understand."

"I am sorry."

"For what?"

"Ending our time here so quickly," Liv told her.

"Like you said, there was no way for us to know."

They continued to the cabin in silence. Alex was trying to not think about the scars that marred Liv's otherwise flawless tanned skin. She had to admit that it just made her look like more of a badass. She was upset that she had been given enough time to appreciate the glory that is Liv.

"They look worse than they are," Liv stated breaking the silence as she pulled up to the cabin.

"What?"

"My scars."

"Cole told me that you were shot thirty times."

"That time, yes," Liv answered like it was common knowledge.

"That time?"

"It wasn't the first time that I had been shot, but it was most definitely the last."

"Thirty times?"

"Yes."

"Did it…"

"Hurt? Yes, like a sonuvabitch, and rehab was Hell. But, that isn't what you wanted to ask."

"I…you keep them covered, why?"

"Because I don't like to answer questions about them."

"I am sorry I asked," Alex immediately replied.

"Don't be. You were bound to see them eventually. Most of them I can cover with a decent short-sleeve shirt. If I know that I am going to go out and need to more scantily dressed, I usually use make up to hide them," Liv explained.

"They tried to kill you."

"She did."

"She?"

"Yulia Plushenko."

"For the international family of arms dealers, Plushenkos?"

"The same," Liv answered.

"You're the one that killed her father."

"I am."

"But they said it was the Russian mafia."

"We are good at what we do."

"But, Cole saved you, didn't he? She tried to kill you and he saved you. There is more though, isn't there?" Alex asked her.

"Isn't there always?"

"Can you tell me?"

"Cole killed her. I killed her father. We covered up our involvement. Cole pulled me out."

"Just the basics, huh?" Alex asked trying to lighten the mood.

"Something like that, yeah."

"Are you mad at him?"

"I don't know."

"You really cared for her, didn't you?"

"She was the first person I cared for besides my family. I didn't see what he did and it almost cost me my life. Now, I have to re-evaluate everything that I thought I knew about that night."

"And, you scars are just reminders of her?"

"Yes," Liv answered.

"I am sorry."

"For what?"

"Bringing up bad memories," Alex stated.

"That's the problem with most of the day, Alex. I don't know what is memory and what is something that my brain has concocted to fill in the blanks," Liv answered and sighed. "There is so much that is starting to make sense in my head. I know that I need to let it go, but part of me can't. It is like a scab that I keep picking, so it will never heal."

"There is a difference between forgiving and forgetting, Liv. You need to figure out how to do that. When you do, you will feel better," Alex told her getting out of the car and heading to the cabin, not waiting for Liv to reply.

Liv sat in the car for a minute. She couldn't believe that Alex just walked away. She didn't push Liv hard, either. She asked questions and knew enough when to stop. Liv was grateful for that, but she didn't know how to respond to it. She had been alone for so long that she didn't know how to accept the help of others. She had been trained to not be reliant on others.

There was just something about Alex though. Maybe, Cole had been right. Maybe she did need a friend and Alex was offering. She didn't need to think about anything else or any other reasons why Alex would want to be nice to her, except to be friendly. It was what normal people did.

She sighed. They needed to leave soon before the local media caught wind of the story and came down to the cabins looking for them. It wouldn't be hard for them to find them and Liv knew it. She got out of the car, taking her day pack and the cooler.

She first went into the kitchen and started unpacking the cooler. She sat their sandwiches and drinks out on the counter. She rummaged through the fridge and realized that it would all fit in the cooler. She was glad that she had been the one doing the shopping. Proportion control was a big thing for her and she liked to keep things at a minimum. It made it easier to leave if they did.

She grabbed the icy gel packs and through them in the freezer. She figured it would be better for them to be as cold as possible before they left. It would give them longer before they would have to stop for ice. She would get ice at the first gas station out of town, but the ice packs could help them drive longer before they would need more.

Once she was settle on the cold stuffs in the kitchen, she found a small box in the cupboard and started packing up the canned goods and boxed stuff. They would have enough snacks to help them out on their drive. She only hoped that they would make it out of Tennessee before they decided to really stop for any length of time.

Alex came into the kitchen. She saw the box and the cooler on the table. She looked over at Liv.

"You weren't kidding about the cooler being packed up if we had to leave."

"Nope, I wasn't. I don't like to waste things. We need to be efficient and cost effective."

"I see."

"It makes it harder to follow us."

"But you always pay with a card?"

"That they will trace to a fake address and a fake name. My money isn't going to be found. I've made sure of that, especially with as much as I have squirrelled away. Don't get me wrong, Alex. I pay my taxes and I have enough in accounts in the States to make the government happy. They are going to come looking for me or my money unless you don't make it back to New York. By the way, have you thought of anywhere that you'd like to go?"

"Ever seen the Pacific?"

"I was in Hawaii, but I don't think that is what you mean," Liv answered.

"I want to see the Pacific," Alex replied.

"Any place in particular?"

"Napa?"

"Wine country?"

"What can I say? I like a good wine. Besides, who would think to look for me there?"

"True, but I don't know. I'll look into it. I'll need to call Cole again and get some IDs for us. He could overnight them once I have a destination. You really want to go to Napa?"

"Or, how about Seattle?"

"That is an extreme from Napa."

"Big City, ocean, what could be better?"

Liv arched her eyebrow at her. Alex just smiled. Liv shook her head and got her laptop. She would need to plot a route to either destination. She would choose based on drive time and find a location to stay on the way.

"What are you doing?"

"Letting the computer decide where we are going to go," Liv told her with a smile.

Alex left her to the computer for a few minutes. She went back to her room and finished packing up her things. She even made the bed. She didn't want it to look like they had left in a rush. She brought her bags out and set them by the door.

"You ready?"

"Yup," Liv answered.

"Do you ever unpack?"

"Only what I need to, and that isn't much," Liv stated carrying her two bags out of her room.

They made their way outside and to the car. Liv put the cooler in first, and sideways. She then put their bags in, making sure that her rifle case was still fitted all the way in the back. She kept her day pack and laptop case out. Then somehow, to Alex's amazement, she packed the small box of goods in the trunk, too.

Liv looked over at Alex with a strange look. It didn't look like she was in pain, but whatever Liv was thinking, it was troubling her. She walked up to Alex and invaded her personal space. She was so close that Alex could see the veins in her forehead pulse and feel her breath on her face.

Liv reached out and took Alex's hand. Her breath caught in her throat. She didn't know what to do. And, then she felt something drop into her hand that was cold and metallic.

"You drive for a while. I'll tell you where to turn and when to stop. I need to make arrangements and plan a route. I can't do that efficiently on the phone with Cole. Can you do this for me?" Liv asked her.

She was surprised at the amount of control that Liv was giving her, but she saw the need for it in Liv's eyes. She closed her hand around the keys and felt Liv's fingers over her own. She wanted to say so much in that moment, but couldn't. She didn't know what to say, actually.

"Sure," she finally managed.

"Good, then let's go," Liv answered as she got in the passenger seat.

Alex stood there for a minute before she noticed that Liv had put her day pack behind the driver's seat. On the console were two sandwiches and two bottles of water were in the cup holders. Her laptop case lay on the back seat, but the laptop was in the front seat, waiting.

"This is going to be a long drive," Alex muttered to herself.


	20. Chapter 20

"Where are we going?"

Liv looked at her. She hadn't really plotted a route yet. That was what she was supposed to be doing. They were going to go west, way west, but they needed at route and one that didn't look like they were heading directly anywhere.

"Hold on," Liv told her as she pulled out a GPS.

She set it up on the dash for Alex to follow it. She quickly put in where they were and Napa Valley in the computer to see a possible route. She would deviate from it, but it would give her a general idea. She saw the interstate routes. It would take a few days to get there. She didn't want to be the on road straight for the predicted thirty-six hours.

She saw that it headed straight to Saint Louis. That was about a three to four drive. It would give her enough time to plan further and make the necessary adjustments to the "suggested" route. It would also give her enough time to call Cole and make preparations for other items that she wanted to procure. Plus, she could make arrangements for somewhere to stay for the night, and even maybe for a few a days.

"Just head towards Saint Louis," Liv told her as she programmed the GPS. "Stay on the main roads and Interstate. It should be Interstate most of the way. We'll change over there and then I'll find us somewhere to stay for the night. Okay?"

"Sounds good. Do whatever it is that you need to do. I think I can handle a few hours of driving."

Liv smiled at her. She had to admit that it was nice that Alex wasn't fighting her, but she wondered how long that would last. She was a lawyer and they were known to be difficult. Alex was no exception. She wanted reasoning and Liv could understand that, but sometimes, she knew that Alex just really didn't need to know. It was for her own good.

She typed quickly on her laptop. She didn't want the connection that she was using to be found. She knew that Cole had given her the USB connection with encryption, but she didn't trust technology that much. It could lie because it was given false information. It was better to find out through investigations, but Liv didn't have that opportunity. She needed to find a route and plot it quickly.

She would lay it out once they stopped for the night and she could focus more on the screen. She would check, double check, and triple check the route. She didn't like surprises. She would even put in stops and other destinations. She knew that Alex would want to stay somewhere and not travel straight through. She also needed a place to stay once they got to Napa.

She needed to call Cole. She wasn't sure that she wanted to, but he was the only one that could help her now. He wouldn't lead anyone to them. He knew how to cover his tracks so well that even Liv had a hard time finding him if he didn't want to be found.

She was still angry with him, but he was the best at what he did. She needed him right now. It wasn't a fact that she liked, but he had been the best damn supply sergeant she'd ever had in the Army. He was a getter and that was a good thing in their profession. He taught her how to get what she needed, too. He was still accessible, so she would use him.

She pulled out a new burner cell. She didn't like using the same one more than once if she didn't have to in a weeks' time. It made it harder to pinpoint her by the GPS tags that pinged the cell towers. It didn't matter that they all had several numbers programmed in them as their listed number. It was amazing what she could do with a government encrypted SIM card. Her fingers hovered over the keypad. She hesitated over Cole's ID. Finally, her finger dropped and it dialed his number.

"Calling again so soon?" he asked answering his phone.

"You know me, Sarge. I can't leave you alone for too long. You might get into trouble," Liv joked.

"What happened?" he asked with concern.

"I saved someone," Liv told him.

"You saved someone?"

"Just tell him what happened," Alex told her, but continued to focus on the road.

"We went boating on the lake. We needed to relax. It started out as a pleasant adventure."

"You went to relax? Liv, you don't relax. Ever. You don't know how," he stated.

"I know, but that isn't the point."

"So, what is?"

"Alex was coming back aboard for lunch when I noticed a young boy drowning."

"And, you plucked him from the water?" he questioned.

"I did."

"You need me to make it go away?"

"No, nothing like that. We left town. We are half way to Saint Louis right now."

"And, you are telling me this, because?" he asked.

"I need some things."

"Like?"'

"I would love to get my SUV back."

"Where?"

"I was thinking Saint Joseph. I've found a hotel right off the Interstate. Could you get it there?"

"I don't know. When did you want it? I'll have to call in some favors."

"Tonight?" Liv asked hopefully.

"Not gonna happen, Kid. I need more time. The way you drive, you'll be there tonight. If I could get in on a cargo plane, maybe, but the closet airport is over an hour away. I don't think that would help you tonight. I am sure that you will need to rest and will be plotting the rest of journey to a new destination, won't you?" he probed.

"Yeah, I will."

"Then, we need to find somewhere else."

"Like?" she asked him.

"Going more west or north this time?"

"North for now," she told him.

"It isn't too cold, yet. Head towards Sioux Falls up in South Dakota. It is north of you and they have a decent airport for us to use. I, also, have some friends there that will help. I can get it there by tomorrow night, no problem. Do you need me to load anything into it?"

"New cells," she answered quickly.

"Already? What happened to the ten you took? Liv, you have got to calm down about your paranoia with the government. You work for them...still…at least for the moment. How does that make Alex feel to hear you talk about it that way? Look, I know that we can't trust everyone, especially in our line of work. You really need to calm down, though. Think about how your anxiety is affecting her. You have to keep her safe and calm. You can't do that when you are freaking out all the time. Besides, have you called in lately?"

"Yesterday, before I talked with you."

"And'?" he probed.

"They aren't happy with me and my gallivanting, but they aren't coming after us, either. Gregor seems to be keeping them calm when it comes to me. He knows how I operate."

"That isn't necessarily a good thing. Gregor wants power and while he has you, he has it. Have you talked to him personally?" Cole asked her.

"No, I try to avoid him at all costs."

"Does he have your new cells numbers?" he inquired.

"No, I didn't give them anyway to contact me. I am keeping quiet with them. It is better for Alex," she told him, and stole a glance at the blonde. "This less they know about what we are doing, the better it is for our safety and the less information that they could give the cartels if there is a leak."

Alex smiled. She knew that Liv was protecting her, but she didn't realize the extent she was going. She didn't know that Liv was actually disobeying protocol and her superiors for her safety. She stole a glance at Liv without her seeing it. She realized in that moment that Liv was jeopardizing her career and her retirement for her, to keep her alive, to keep her safe. Her smile faded. Liv was giving up so much for her and she was being a spoiled ass about it. She decided that she would have to make Liv understand how much she really appreciated what she was doing for her.

Liv turned quickly and caught Alex's fading smile. She wondered what the blonde was thinking about while she was driving. She made a mental note to ask her when they stopped in Saint Louis.

"I know you think that is for the best, but how long do you think that will last?" Cole asked her.

"It doesn't matter. They wanted me to do this job and I am going to do it my way. If they didn't want me to do it, they shouldn't have given it to me. Gregor will take care of it. He owes me."

"Yeah, but for how long'?" Cole questioned.

"Until we get back to New York for the trial. This is my last job, Cole. He knows that. He gave me all the leeway I wanted. As long as l get her to courthouse on time, it doesn't matter what l do."

"I am not going to argue with you, Liv. You know what you need to do. I am just happy that you are still talking to me. What else do you need help with?" Cole asked her.

"Some new cloths, something maybe a little more professional looking. I am sure that she would like to wear something besides jeans and t-shirts. We may eventually be going to make it to the West coast. So, outfits that would fit in there and not look too out of place. Casual clothes and some nice dress clothes, too. We might go out and do something. I am her body guard, Cole, not her jailer."

"You've relaxed with her, I see."

"We came to an understanding."

"You like her," he teased.

"It doesn't matter. I can't act on that and you know that. There is job to do, Cole and I plan on doing it. I don`t have time to be worrying about other things while I am worried about her well-being," Liv said.

"Way to cover that one up. Wait, is she driving? You are letting her drive? You don't let anyone drive. You must really like her. So, you gonna tell her? Talk to her, Liv. You might be surprised by what she will tell you. There is no sense in being alone for the rest of your life because Yulia fucked up. She is there and I am sure she is able. If I was there, I make a pass at her."

"Please don't. Not right now. I don't want to deal with that. I have other things to think about."

"Just admit that you like her and I'll drop it, Girlie."

"Really?" Liv asked unconvinced.

"Promise...well at least for now."

"Maybe."

"Just say it."

"I will not."

"Say it."

"Are you a child?"

"I've been called worse," he replied.

"I am sure that you have."

"Just say it."

"Fine, yes, there could be a possibility… "

"But?"

"You promised."

"Just answer the question."

"I am not going to act on it. It wouldn't be right. Now, are you going to help me or not?"

"I'll get you what you asked for. Don't worry about it. I'll make sure that I have the SUV and your supplies waiting for you at the Sioux Falls airport. I'll email your old account the details. If you need anything else, call me before ten tonight. I should have everything lined up by then. And, promise to leave the car in good condition for me this time," he told Liv all serious.

"I will do my best. Besides, when have I ever given you back a vehicle in worse shape than when I got it? And, no, Colombia doesn't count," Liv told him.

"And, why doesn't it count?"

"Because you were right beside me the entire time as we were fighting our way to the extraction point. You were returning fire as fast as I and Sanchez were. So, no, Colombia doesn't count. I can`t help that they pulled out a RPG and shot the truck just as we were trying to cross the border."

He laughed. "Alright, Liv, I'll give you that one."

"You'd better," she stated before chuckling with him.

Alex looked over at her, finally seeing her relax and let her guard down more today that they were "on the run" then when they were safely tucked in at the cabin or at Cole's. She wondered if they were truly adrenaline junkies and this was what they thrived on. It might have been a normal situation for Liv, but the seriousness of the incident and the aftermath was actually starting to get to her. She would need Liv to take over soon. She wasn`t made to process things like this. Liv was.

"Just get me what I need, Cole. I'll pay you back through our normal channels as soon as I get somewhere more permanent. Can you run me some numbers on Napa, too? I am feeling like a little wine tasting in the future. Is that relaxing enough for you?" Liv asked him.

"Sounds good. I'll see what I can find out for you. Looking for something a little more permanent, I'm gathering. Condo or house?" Cole asked her.

"Home would be good. I am glad that we understand each other. Just something that would be nice and not necessarily too much. We need to blend in, you know? I'll send the new covers as soon as I think them up. Thanks again, old friend," she told him.

"Don`t worry about it, Girlie. I don't mind taking care of you sometimes. Just remember to take care of yourself and Alex. Give her a big ol' kiss for me," he teased her as he hung up.

"So?" Alex asked as she watched Liv put the phone away.

"So what?"

"We're going to Napa?" Alex questioned.

"Depends on the information that Cole gels me. Right now, we are going to get off at the next exit. We'll take a break, get some snacks, stretch, and then I'll book us a motel room in Saint Joseph. We'll stay there for the night. Tomorrow, we are going to head to Sioux Falls to get some supplies. From there, I have no idea. I'll plan the rest of the route tonight."

"We're going to Iowa?"

"Not Sioux City, Alex, Sioux Falls, as in South Dakota," Liv told her.

"South Dakota? Are you kidding? You're taking me to South Dakota. Wow, this really is a road trip adventure, isn't it?" Alex asked as she pulled off the Interstate at the exit Liv pointed out.


	21. Chapter 21

It was around eight when they made it to Saint Joseph. Where Alex had been driving at a reasonable pace, Liv was always in a hurry and speeding. Liv drove them to the hotel immediately. She knew that Alex must be hungry but she wanted to check in. There were things that needed to be done and they needed to be done quickly and with an efficiency.

She had gotten them a room at the Holiday Inn Riverside. It was a nice enough hotel for a day or so stay. She had Alex come into the lobby with her as she checked in. Alex was walking around looking at all the brochures offering the local attractions, but always kept Liv in sight and Liv did the same. The clerk handed her the key cards and told her how to get to the room and the best place to park. Liv smiled at the woman and took the cards.

Alex caught herself picking up a few. There were some interesting places that she would want to visit, if they could. She hoped that Liv would relax enough to let it happen.

"The Pony Express Museum is here," Alex told her as they headed clown the hall to their room.

"Is it?" Liv asked half amused at Alex's glee over such information.

"Yeah, we should go," Alex suggested.

"You don't leave New York often, do you?"

"No, I didn't. I was too hell bent on work. If I did leave, I went to my family's house at the Cape. It was the only place that I could find myself when I lost myself to the City."

"Sounds nice enough."

"I guess it was. I just never realized what I was missing with the rest of the country at my disposal. I never tried to venture far because I was always worried that I might something I liked more than being a lawyer," Alex confessed.

"Would that be so bad?"

"In my family, yes, but I love history and art as much I love the law and being a lawyer. I like going to museums, but you can only go to the Natural History Museum so many times before you become a tour guide. Can we go?" Alex asked her handing her the pamphlet.

"If you want, I don't see why not. I'll call Cole later and tell him that we are going to stay an extra day. This is it," Liv told her as they approached their door.

Liv put the key card in the slot and opened the door. They hadn't brought anything with them but Liv's day pack. She really didn't go anywhere without it. She sat it on the table as she surveyed the room.

"Well this is interesting," Alex stated.

"What?"

"There is only one bed."

"Don't worry about it. I'll sleep on the couch. We'll be fine. It was the last room they had before the weekend. There is some sort of convention in town. The clerk told me," Liv explained.

"It is a California king, Liv. You could sleep in the bed. We wouldn't even find each other."

"I'll stay on the couch. I'll be fine. You take the bed. Besides, I don't want to keep you up. I probably won't be sleeping much anyway," Liv added.

"Why? Are you still worried about what happened in Paris? Or, is it something else?"

"I need to plan our route. Until that is done and other arrangements are made, I am not going to be comfortable sleeping. I need to make sure that everything is in place and ready for us before we get to Sioux Falls. This reminds me I need to call Cole and tell him to delay the shipment for a day or so. Everything will work out for us. I promise."

Alex just watched her. It was like Liv was on mission. She had already pulled out her laptop and set it on the table. She was fishing around in her day pack for a cell phone. Alex sat down on the end of the bed defeated, because she knew that she wasn't going to get anywhere with Liv until she was done.

"Cole, yeah, it's me...No, I don't need anything that I know of...Yeah, we're fine...I am going to stay an extra day to get things in order...Yeah, I am sure...Just listen...Yeah, she's fine...No, I haven't said anything about that...No...No...Not right now...Would you just listen for a second? ...Damn it, Cole...Sergeant! ...Thank you...Listen, I am giving you another day for the package. We'll be picking it up on Saturday, okay? ...Good...Yeah, I'll send the payment tonight...Roger that, Sarge. Out."

Liv closed the cell phone and threw it back into her day pack. She turned and looked over at Alex. She could see the emotions crossing over Alex's face, but she didn't know what to say or do. She had to keep Alex sale. That was her first priority. She realized that she had shut down in Saint Louis and gone back into military mode. She knew that it alienated Alex and she shook her head.

"I'm sorry," Liv told her.

"For what now?"

"I don't know how to explain it. I…I. don't…I am just sorry. Are you hungry? We should eat."

"That sounds like a good idea."

"Did the lobby have any of the brochures on places to eat? Did you see something that you wanted? It doesn't matter to me," Liv told her.

"There were two places, but only one of them is open now," Alex told her.

"Okay, so we'll go there. Again, I am sorry. I am trying, Alex. I really am."

"I know and I appreciate it. I heard what you told Cole in the car earlier. It meant a lot to me."

"What I said?" Liv asked her confused.

"Yeah, about you being my bodyguard and not my jailer. You are doing what you have to do to keep me safe. I appreciate that, a lot. I might fight you on some things, but I know that you have my best interest in mind. I appreciate that you understand that is difficult for me as well. I know that you have been indulging me. Thank you for that, too. I know that you are trying to make this as painless as possible for me. I do," Alex explained.

"Well, I'm glad then," Liv replied.

"We should eat," Alex said.

She could tell that emotions were high and she knew that Liv didn't handle them well. They would go eat and talk. They would pretend to be friends for an hour. Then, they would come back to the hotel room. Liv would plan the rest of their trip and Alex would sleep. They were able to keep up appearances, whatever they were, when needed, but it still didn't feel right to Alex.

They went to a local favorite eatery. It was called the Bad Art Bistro. Alex had to admit that she liked the quirky interior covered in local artwork. The food was good and they actually had a good time.

She was just sorry that she knew as soon as they got back to the hotel room that Liv would shut down again and turn back into Benson. That was how she thought of them. She was two different people. Liv was her friend and Benson was her bodyguard. She just hoped that somewhere on this journey that the two met and merged into one. It would make things a little easier for them both emotionally.

Alex went to the bathroom to prepare for bed. It had been a long day and she was ready to relax completely. She had already taken a quick shower while they were still in Paris, but now she thought that the feel of the warm water running over her body would help her get ready for bed. She grabbed some clothes and disappeared into the bathroom while Liv sat down at the table with her laptop.

Alex going to take a shower when they got back from dinner wasn't lost on Liv. She realized that she done something and closed herself off from her again. She had started to relax in Paris, but then she rescued the boy and put them both in jeopardy. It had been a Catch 22 situation and she hated it. She couldn't believe how easily her training took over. She wondered if this was how it was always going to be. She didn't want things to always dissolve back into a mission.

Liv stared at the screen. She didn't have to stay up tonight and make plans. She had tomorrow after she took Alex to the museum. She needed the rest, but her mind wouldn't slow down enough to let her. She was so strung out about keeping Alex safe that she hadn't heard her come back into the room after her shower. She looked up over her laptop screen just in time to see Alex toweling her hair.

Alex gave her a smile as she came further into the shared room of their suite. She was glad for the black wife beater and the navy blue boxers. She was comfortable, but she knew that the dark colors set off her skin. She watched Liv stare at her for a few seconds. Her cobalt eyes burned into Liv's chestnut and the other woman looked back at her screen. Alex smirked.

"I think I am going to take a shower. Please stay away from the door and windows. I shouldn't be long but just a few minutes. Go on to bed, if you'd like. I don't want keep you up," Liv told her as she disappeared into the bathroom.

It wasn't until she was in the bathroom that she realized that she had forgotten to get any clothes. She stared at herself in the mirror. The weariness of their early departure was catching up to her. She was worried for Alex and hoped that the DNR officers didn't really remember what they looked like or had snuck a picture of them. They didn't have time to explain to anyone what was going on and still stay under the radar. She was still amazed at how quickly Alex acquiesced to leaving.

Liv sighed and continued to stare into the mirror as she got undressed. She slowly peeled off her shirt and bra. She stood there and looked at her scars. They had only been marks of pain and suffering before today. She didn't know why but with Alex seeing them, they didn't any more. They seemed more like marks of heroism, like ribbons that couldn't be given because of the secretive nature of their missions.

She slowly touched them as she tried to push the memory of Yulia standing there in her father's house, in his hardwood paneled study, holding that old model AK47 with a full clip and shooting her. Some days it was all she saw when she closed her eyes. She had never admitted that to anyone, not even Cole, and definitely not the "shrinks" that they made her see. Her fingers glided over the bumpy and odd feeling flesh. She took in a quick breath and let it out slowly.

Finally when she couldn't take the sight of herself any more, she turned around and started the shower. She didn't wait for it to get to temperature before she got in. She let the water sluice over her body and wash away the day. Tonight was a first for her as she stood under the spray, though. Tonight when she closed her eyes, she didn't see Yulia standing there with the rifle. Now, she saw Alex standing there in that red bikini beckoning her over. She had to put a hand out to hold herself up as her knees went weak.

She didn't need this. She definitely didn't need this now. She pushed off the tile wall and straightened her stance. She tried to shake the thought from her head. Liv felt her body betray her and she was grateful for the water spraying down on her as it covered up the moan that escaped from her mouth.


	22. Chapter 22

Liv finally got out of the shower. Her skin was pink and raw. She didn't care. She needed it to get her emotions back into check. She couldn't be all emotional around Alex. It would prove to be fatal if she was. She needed to remain calm and collected. She needed to stay grounded and be aware of everything that was going on around her. She didn't need to be worried about what her head was telling her about Alex. It was dangerous and she knew it.

She'd let her guard down in Paris and now she was suffering because of it. Nothing good would come of it. She would return Alex back to New York and that would be the end of it. There would be nothing for her after. She knew that. This was just another mission.

She grabbed two towels off the shelf. She wrapped one around her body. She used the other one to dry her shaggy hair. She caught a glimpse of it in the mirror. She would need a haircut soon, she thought to herself. It was then that she remembered that she hadn't brought any clothes into the bathroom with her. She sighed.

She decided that she would have to bite the bullet. She couldn't stay in the bathroom all night. Hopefully, Alex had already gone to bed and the lights were off. She would be able to dress without any worries from Alex bothering her while she did so. She decided that she had to tempt fate more than once with her. She swallowed hard and opened the door.

The door swung open with more force than she wanted, but she stopped it from hitting the wall right before it would have. She took two steps out the in suite bathroom in the darkened bedroom area. Alex was in the bed, facing away from the bathroom. She let out a pent up sigh.

Carrying both towels, she made her way to the table where her bags were. She began to rifle through them. She grabbed the Glock 40 sidearm and set it on the table. She wanted it close to her. She didn't care about clothes as long as she had a weapon. She knew that it was a fucked up mentality, but it had kept her alive for many years and many missions.

Alex heard her come out of the bathroom. She'd rolled over to pretend that she was sleeping. She knew that Liv was searching through her brain, trying to find something to hold on to while she processed whatever information that Cole had given her. She hated to see that she had shut down, but she wouldn't force her to open up.

She rolled back over just in time to catch Liv setting the pistol on the table. She sighed quietly. She stared at Liv, who had her back to her. She couldn't believe the resolve and poise that Liv had. Even battered and broken, she imagined that Liv would stay upright with a slight cock of her chin, defying whoever questioned her, a fire in her eyes, and a smirk on her lips, daring someone to test her further. Alex shook her head against the pillow. She knew that it wouldn't do any good for her to think about Liv in that manner.

It was then that she saw the way the thin sliver of silver moonlight came in through the curtains and painted itself across Liv's marred flesh. Alex breath quickened and she fought the urge to sit up. She moved just enough so that she could watch Liv without her realizing it too much.

Liv heard the bed creak. She turned and looked over her shoulder to see Alex watching her. She didn't know if Alex knew that she knew that Alex was watching or not. Frankly, in that moment, she didn't care. Liv could barely make out Alex's sapphire eyes, but she could tell that they were appraising her body.

She wanted to test her theory, but she didn't want to turn around to fully confront Alex either. She flexed her ass just enough for it to clench and move. She heard the slight gasp that Alex made and she smiled. She thought about turning around, but thought better of it. She quickly dug into her bag and pulled out some cotton briefs, putting them on, before she went in search of a shirt or wife beater to wear. When she found one, she pulled it over her head and made like she was going to sit down at the table and make more plans for their adventure.

"Liv?"

"Yes?" she replied.

"Come to bed."

Liv turned to face her. There was a look on Alex's face that Liv didn't recognize. It wasn't fear. It wasn't worry. It looked more like lust.

As if on autopilot and not of her own volition, she found herself on the other side of the bed. She quickly climbed under the sheets and settled in as far away from Alex as she could. It didn't matter though. She could still every bit of warmth that Alex gave off between them. It was burning Liv's skin and they weren't even touching.

Alex rolled over closer to her and faced her. Liv stared at the ceiling. She didn't know what to do or say, so she did neither. Alex must have sensed her shyness of the situation. She reached out and brushed some hair out of Liv's face.

Liv did her best not to lean into the gesture, but she failed. She heard Alex's sharp intake of breath. She tried to look away from the blonde, but found that she couldn't. She turned her head to stare directly into her fiery cobalt eyes.

"Liv?"

"Yes?"

"Are you cold?"

"No, why?" she replied.

"You're shivering," Alex told her, reaching down and pulling up the blankets further.

"I am not cold," Liv stated matter-of-factly.

"You're sure? I can turn down the air. I like it cold when I sleep."

"I am fine, Alex," she lied.

"Okay," Alex stated, turning back onto her back.

Alex wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to touch her but she didn't want to scare her. She knew what Liv's bodily reactions to her meant, but she was afraid of what the deadly woman would do. When she was about to roll over and touch her again, Liv got out of the bed.

"Liv?" she questioned.

"I'll be right back. I forgot something. Just go back to sleep. I'm okay. We're okay," Liv told her as she walked over to the table.

Alex watched her pick up the pistol. She checked it, making sure that it was loaded and ready if necessary. She stalked over to the door, silently. If Alex hadn't watched her move, she wouldn't have known that Liv was moving at all. She watched as checked, double checked and then triple checked the door locks. Then, Liv glided across the room and checked the windows as well. When it seemed that she finally happy with the security of the room, she came back to bed. She placed the pistol under her pillow with the barrel facing the wall away from Alex.

"Do you always sleep with that there?"

"For the most part, yes," Liv answered.

"And, if you don't have it?"

"I have a knife there instead."

"Every time you sleep, you are armed."

"It's habit."

"It's dangerous."

"I know they are there. I am not going to hurt, nor am I going to let anyone hurt you either. I have done this for years without any mishaps. We'll be fine," Liv assured her.

Alex rolled over again to face her. She could see the wonder this time in Liv's eyes and she knew that Liv could see the emotions in her eyes. She desperately wanted to kiss her, but she didn't move. She was too afraid that Liv would leave the bed again.

"The scar on your back," Alex started.

"Which one?"

"The one that looks like a knife wound."

"Again, which one?"

"The one just above your hip," Alex said.

"Why, Miss Cabot, are you taking stock of all my former wounds?" Liv teased her.

"I am just curious."

"Curious, eh?"

"Yes, how did you get that one?" Alex asked her.

"From a knife."

"I gathered that much."

"How so?"

"I prosecute criminals for a living. I know the difference between a knife wound and a gun shot. It was too precise to have been otherwise. It didn't have a jagged edge and it was almost straight. Can you tell me how you got that one?"

"What is this some sort of bedtime story for you?" Liv quipped.

"It will get both of our minds off today."

"Fine, it was from a knife of a very bad man in Colombia. Evidently he didn't like the fact that we burnt his fields and stopped his shipments to Mexico of his product. He thought it would be a good idea to cut my flesh in front on my team while I dangled in a makeshift barn. Little did he know that I carried a knife blade in my boot," Liv told her.

"You stabbed him?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes, I did."

"How?"

"I had to wait until he lowered the rope enough. He was a cocky sonuvabitch. He kissed me hard and made his perversion evident. In that moment, I thought that Sanchez and Cole would implode. I managed to move my foot back just enough to catch the hidden trigger for the blade tip to poke out the toe of my boot. He never saw the movement."

"What happened?"

"A miscalculation on my part."

"How so?"

"I leaned into the rope as he pulled me up. It caught me off balance just enough that when I kicked out to hit him with the blade tip, I barely scratched him. He had been teasing my skin with his Bowie style knife. He was off balance from my kick. He leaned towards me, angrily that I had cut him, while I was trying to free my hands. Unfortunately for me, his knife skidded across my back just as I got free."

"He cut you while he was trying to regain his footing."

"Yep."

"Was it deep?"

"Nope, but it hurt like a mother fucker."

"I am sure," Alex replied, once again reaching out to Liv.

She ran her hand across the scar on Liv's back. It was just above her ass and it wrapped her hip. Liv could feel the tenderness and tentativeness in her touch.

"Did you kill him?"

"Yes, I did."

"Did he suffer?" Alex asked.

"Depends on your definition of suffering," Liv answered truthfully.

"Did you torture him?"

"No, I didn't do that. I wouldn't do that. I refused."

"Good."

"Alex, why do you want to know?" Liv questioned.

"I want to know why you are the way you are."

"I've already told you the answer to that."

"Because you were trained, I know. But, there is more to it than that. These scars tell a story of a woman who has given of herself time and again for a country that will never know of her sacrifice. Your eyes tell me that you are scared to feel because you don't want to be hurt again. I can understand that. But, you carry a double standard in your brain, Liv and I think that it scares you more than your own emotions," Alex explained.

"Meaning?"

"You felt something for Yulia and you believed that she felt something for you in return. But, she betrayed you. She tried to kill you and in the end, you would have left her because you had to do it. It was the mission. She was just a pawn in a political game and you were the willing knight put in harm's way and asked to sacrifice part of yourself in the process. Somewhere in your thinking, you never thought that she would hurt you. It was a deadly game of chess, but unfortunately, your king didn't realize that he was putting you against their queen."

"That is an interesting analogy," Liv told her.

"And, when the king saw that you were about to fall, he sent a bishop in to save the knight."

"Cole," Liv said.

"Yes."

"Yes."

"But, yet, you don't understand that you were playing with fire to begin with."

"Meaning?" Liv asked her.

"You were going to get burned no matter the outcome," Alex explained and rolled away.


	23. Chapter 23

Liv woke up cold. She reached out across the bed to find Alex. She rolled over and Alex was nowhere to be seen. She immediately went into panic mode. It was…she stared at the clock, now eight o'clock. How long had Alex been gone? She didn't have time to plan. She had to react. She tore across the room and snagged on her jeans. She ripped the tattered shirt she'd been sleeping off her torso and replaced it with a sports bra and a wife beater. She grabbed a thin jacket like blazer that was hanging over a chair and shrugged it on.

Her mind began to race. She reached over to the bed and picked up the Glock, hoping to whatever deity that she didn't have to fight to get Alex back. She tried to calculate distances in her head when the door to the room opened. Liv turned to the door with her pistol in hand, ready for whatever came through it, bracing for anything. She almost didn't realize that it was Alex.

Alex came in with a smile on her face, until she saw the gun. She carried a plate of assorted bagels and some fruit on hand. In the other, she carried some smuggled up cream cheese. She gave Liv a look as she walked over to the table.

Liv dropped to the end of the bed, sitting on the edge, with the pistol still in her hand. She took in two deep breaths and tried to calm her heart. She stared over at Alex, who looked entirely too rested and beautiful in a pair of flared jeans and a white Gap, Inc. t-shirt. Liv met her questioning sky blue eyes and let out a sigh. She dropped the pistol on the bed and stood up.

"I got breakfast."

"I see that."

"I think that the appropriate answer here is: Thank you, Alex."

"You left the room and didn't tell me and you want me to tell you thank you for that?"

"Okay, well, when you say it like that…"

"Alex…"

"I was just trying to be nice. I didn't think that anything major would happen while I was getting a bagel. I didn't mean to make you worry."

Liv shook her head and sighed, again. Her heart finally back to a normal pace, she walked to the table. She wanted to take Alex in her arms. She wanted to make her understand that she didn't have the same freedoms that she once did. Liv rubbed her face with her hand and then started to rub her temples in order to fend off the headache she was afraid that she would develop.

"Liv?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"I didn't think it would be that big of a deal," Alex explained.

"I know."

"Liv?"

"Sit down," Alex commanded.

Liv's head shot up and she burned her gaze into her azure eyes. So many thoughts ran through Liv's eyes and Alex could see them all. She saw the horrified scenarios that Liv's brain thought up in the few minutes that she was gone. She didn't understand fully the aspect of the pain behind the thoughts, but she could appreciate the fact that Liv had been devastated briefly by her absence. Alex stood up from the table and guided her into a seat.

"I am sorry. Eat something. Please," Alex begged.

The words were not lost on Liv. The placating gestures, the sadness in her eyes, and the tone of her voice almost made her break. She wanted to take Alex into her arms and make sure that she was okay, verify that she was just the same as she had been before she'd gone to bed the night before. She felt Liv sigh against her arms as she allowed Alex to put her in a chair.

"Alex, you can't do that again."

"I know."

"I am serious," Liv told her.

"I understand."

"What if something had happened?"

"I was fine."

"But, what if…"

"Liv, calm down. I am okay. I am right here. I am fine. Nothing happened."

Alex said the words over and over, but she could tell that Liv just didn't hear them. Her mind was too far behind her emotions. The pain of the possible loss of Alex crossed her face like someone had hit her in the gut. Liv bent forward and braced herself against the table. She didn't Alex to see her this way, but she was afraid to move. Her body wouldn't respond to her commands the way that she wanted them to. And, then she saw it…

Alex's face transformed in front of her. The beautiful blonde's face was replaced by a sinister grin and the image of that fateful AK flashed before her eyes. She was losing herself to the memories. Before she could stop herself she spoke out to Yulia.

" _Nyet, nyet, pozhaluysta, nyet ... prosti menya ... Ya dolzhen byl ... prosti menya_ "

"Liv…"

" _Nyet, Yulia, nyet…"_

"Liv…" Alex called her name trying to bring her back to the present.

She knew what flashbacks were. She knew Liv might have them. And, she understood that Liv might not be able to control herself in those situations. She wasn't going to lose Liv to a memory. She was going to help her fight back. She owed her that much by Liv taking her case.

" _Chomu vy ne hovoryte meni , shchovy buly Pryvyd Kyyevi_?"

" _Nyet, Liv, nyet._ I am Alexandra Cabot. I am not Yulia."

"Lies!"

"Liv…"

Liv shot up from the table. She grabbed Alex by the throat and before she realized what she was doing, she had Alex against the wall. Her normally soft chestnut eyes were a dark roasted coffee and full of anger and pain.

Alex slowly reached up and grabbed Liv's hands. She wrapped her fingers around Liv's wrist and felt her fingers lose their tension around her throat. She didn't say anything. She just kept her gaze locked onto Liv's. She could only hope that her eyes could tell Liv what she needed to hear. There were no words to help her, and Alex knew that.

Alex kept her hands on Liv's arms. She saw Liv searching her face and eyes for any sign of betrayal. Amazingly, Alex wasn't flipping out. If they had been in New York, Alex was sure that she would have kneed Liv in the crotch and called it a day. But, that was then. Now weeks later, she had seen beneath the armor of the hardened and scarred woman.

"Liv…" she stated breaking their silence.

" _Nyet,_ you do not get to call me that. How do you know my name? Tell me that, Yulia. How do you know my name? When were you going to tell me? You could have trusted me. I could have helped you. I didn't know that you were the 'Ghost of Kiev.' They thought it was your father. Why didn't you tell me?" Liv begged the apparition.

" _Nyet,_ Liv. I am not Yulia. I am Alex or Emily. Look at me. Look into my eyes, Liv, and see me. I am the one standing before you."

"Why are you lying to me? _Nyet, nyet,_ I will not believe these lies. You tried to kill me."

"No, I didn't," Alex replied.

"Thirty times…you shot me thirty times."

"It wasn't me, Olivia."

"You could have given me the same favor that I gave your father."

"What was that?"

"One bullet to the head, but no, you had to prove a point. To who though? To me? I would have helped you. I would have erased the evidence. I loved you, damn it. Why?"

"Because you loved me…"

Liv let her go. She stood there staring at Alex, but she only saw Yulia. Alex didn't know what made her start answering for the dead woman, but it seemed to making Liv stand down some.

Liv sat down on the edge of the bed again. It sagged more from her internal and mental demons than from her weight. Alex stayed leaning against the wall, wondering what she do, now. She could hear Liv start cry. She could see how the sobs wracked her body, but still Alex didn't move. She wanted to say something, touch her, comfort her, but she didn't know how.

Suddenly, Liv's body language changed. Her slumped body became rigid. She sat back. She wiped the tears from her eyes. Alex could see that they had returned back to their softer chestnut, but there was something else behind it. A darkness flared behind them that gave Alex cause to wonder and pause.

She watched as Liv's eyes roamed her body. As the raked across her form, she watched her pupils dilate and retract over and over. She knew the exact moment that Liv's eyes saw the marks on her neck that were inevitably there from her own hands. She saw the question in Liv's eyes as Liv paused to stare at the bruised flesh. Alex unconsciously reached up and rubbed her neck, which only drew further attention to it. When she realized what she had done, she let out a breath that she didn't know that she had been holding, but she never wavered from Liv' gaze.

"Alex… _Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa,_ " Liv said, quietly, shattering the silence.

She stood up from the bed. She glanced around the room not really seeing anything. There was falling back into her soldier mentality. It was a safe haven for her and Alex was sure that it was the only way that she felt like home. Alex could see the sadness and sorrow starting to break through her mental road blocks. Liv was breaking a little more each day that they were together. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. She knew that Liv would never mean to hurt her on purpose. Her entire being gave into her self-worth and drive which sole purpose was to keep Alex alive and get her back to New York as soon as they knew the court date.

"Alex…" Liv started, but Alex could see her retreating, trying to find a way out and thinking of a suitable punishment for her actions.

Alex could read her face like a book, but her body told a different story. She took two strides towards Alex before the physical want to run tried to take over. Alex watched as her body and her mind collided two steps away from her and the wall. She leaned off the wall and took a tentative step towards Liv. When Liv didn't back up, she took another.

The questioning look in Liv's eyes betrayed her strength in that moment. Alex knew that she could destroy her with words and fists, but her heart leapt towards the woman instead. She wanted to heal the pain that she had suffered during her "creation."

"Alex…"

She could hear the emotions trembling through the wavering voice, but it didn't deter her. Instead the shakiness of Liv's voice, the questioning in her eyes, and rigidity of her body only made Alex even more determined to soften Liv. She took a small step forward and met her eye to eye, almost nose to nose. She knew that her closeness caused her some distraction. She knew that Liv would never give into the temptation that was her own body. She had been burned too many times in the past to actually let go.

"Alex…"

"Hush, Liv. I am fine. Touch me if you need to," Alex said taking her trembling hands in her own and placing Liv's shaking right hand above her heart.

She felt Liv's body gasp more than she heard it. Liv stared at her hand, dark tan against the alabaster of Alex's skin. She felt the subtle thudding of her heart under her fingertips. Her eyes shot up to cobalt when Alex's heart sped up at the extended contact. Alex could feel her fingers tighten, like she wanted to hold Alex's heart to prove to herself that she was actually okay.

Before she realized what she was doing, Liv lifted her left hand and cupped Alex's cheek. She held her so gently. She showed her a reverence that Alex only dreamed of, conveying every ounce of compassion that Liv could muster with the tips of her fingers and the fire in her eyes. Alex leaned into the caress, because it couldn't be called anything else.

It seemed like time slowed and the world was forgotten for a few brief moments between them. The fire in the eyes wasn't the only thing ready to combust. Alex knew the second that Liv was about to pull away. The fire seemed to dissipate just a little and she could feel the tension building in Liv's fingertips just above her heart. Alex reached up with her hand and trapped Liv's where it was.

Alex waited for Liv's mocha eyes to meet her own. When they did, she knew that Liv wanted to run as far and as fast as she could from her. Alex scared her as much as Liv scared her. She knew that if she didn't act quickly, she would lose the moment and courage to act on it.

Swiftly, Alex snaked her left hand from holding Liv's hand against her heart to the back of her head. Her right hand shot up and grabbed the blazer that Liv was wearing, pulling her into her own body and holding her tightly. Her lips were soft and tasted sweet as she crashed her own against hers. Her mind exploded into a thousand pieces at the contact, but none of the red flags that were flying in her mind stopped the kiss. She sank into it further, demanding more, from Liv and taken all that Liv was willing to give her in that moment.

It wasn't a strictly passionate kiss. It wasn't angry or sad. It was raw and pure emotion between them both. There were no tease words as their lips slid over each other.

But just as soon as it started, it stopped. Liv pulled away, seemingly coming to her respectable senses. Her body was on fire and the predatory look that Alex was giving her in that moment was enough to break down more of the walls that Alex's kindness had slowly been sledging at.

"Alex…"

"Shut up, Liv," she told her, pulling her back to her mouth.

This time she wasn't going to let Liv end the kiss until she was good and ready for it to end. Every time that she would try to pull away, Alex only held her firmer by the lapels of the blazer. She was tired of teasing and the innuendo. She needed Liv to understand how much she actually appreciated her services. Even if they never went to bed, for sex, together, Alex would have this kiss. She would know that she took the chance and that she didn't back down. Even though somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that once they got back to New York, they would lose each other to the City again and they would part. She would have this moment and she hoped that it would be enough for both of them in the end to realize that they meant something to each other more than witness and bodyguard.


	24. Chapter 24

Liv wasn't sure what was going on with her brain. It had been four years and she had regained some of her control. There was just something about Alex that made her forget it. At that moment, she didn't care. It was just amazing to feel Alex's mouth against hers. Something took over in her and she didn't care. She didn't want the feeling to end. She was almost willing to give into the temptation and give up some of her control to Alex. It was a dangerous thought and as soon as she thought it, she regretted it. She knew she did care, but Alex's kiss would let her forget and let her lose herself in the emotions that she was so careful to keep in check.

Alex wasn't sure what possessed her to kiss Liv but she was happy that it did. She was just as mesmerized as Liv in that moment, but she wasn't prepared for Liv's reaction. Nothing from her experience with the hardened assassin could have predicted her next move.

Liv picked Alex up and pressed her against the wall, again. She never broke the kiss. Alex moaned at the movement and continued contact. She couldn't believe that Liv hadn't let her go. From the position that she was in, Alex wrapped her legs around Liv's waist. She took Alex's weight and was grateful for the wall, because she didn't think that she would be able to hold both of them up for very long as her knees went weak.

Alex deepened the kiss, thrusting her tongue against Liv's mouth. She opened her mouth to allow her entrance. Alex was getting drunk on Liv's kiss when she felt her moan into it.

As soon as the sound left Liv's mouth, she reacted. She knew that kissing Alex was wrong. She knew that she couldn't fall for Alex. It wasn't going to make the mission any easier. She needed to stop this, but she didn't want to stop kissing Alex. She leaned further into Alex's waiting body. She could feel her respond.

Alex was enjoying it, completely. She didn't care that she could feel Liv starting to pull away. She raised her hand from around Liv's neck and caressed her cheek. She felt Liv sigh. She was happy when she didn't pull away. Instead, Liv hiked her up, again, and pulled her away from the wall. She walked over to the table and set Alex on it.

Liv was fighting her brain on both sides. Part of her wanted to continue kissing Alex and part of her wanted to run out the door. Alex could feel Liv's trouble and she was the one that finally broke the kiss. She pulled back just enough to look into her troubled eyes.

"Liv?"

"I'm sorry. We shouldn't have done that. It was wrong of me."

"Liv, stop," Alex told her.

"But, Alex, it was unprofessional. I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have allowed it to happen. I don't know what came over me. I am sorry for it."

"I am not," Alex replied.

"Alex…"

"Listen, Liv, I know that you wanted that kiss as much as I did. Don't apologize for it. It made you uncomfortable because of why we are here and I get that. I do. But, that doesn't change the fact that you are a gorgeous woman and anyone would be a fool not to see that. They would also be ignorant to not see what you have to offer."

"Alex…"

"I believe you owe me a trip to the Pony Express Museum. So, let's get dressed and go. You can call Cole and plan our trip to Sioux Falls and beyond. I'll be good and sit over there on the bed. I'll read a book or something. I'll be good," Alex told her changing the subject before Liv could even think about protesting her explanations.

Liv stood there for a moment and just stared at her. She was honestly at a loss for words. The beautiful and talented blond lawyer was the first person who ever disarmed her so completely when they were near her that Liv sometimes forgot to think. She would never tell Alex such a thing because she knew that Alex would use it against her. She had to find a way to make things work between them. She didn't want awkwardness but she knew that it was bound to happen time and time again because she had allowed them to over step that invisible line.

"You promise to behave?"

"I do."

"And, you'll stay in the room and be quiet while I plan for tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"You won't question me any more about where we are going?"

"Well, I might. I am human after all. But, I do believe that you told me that it would either be Seattle or somewhere in Napa Valley. As long as I get one of those, I don't really care. I am happy to be spending time with you," she replied.

"Alex…" Liv warned.

"Look, I know that sounds cliché, and it is. But, it is also the truth. I am glad that I am with you and not with another agent or whoever. I will always be grateful for that. Now, take me to the museum or take to me bed. Those are your choices at the moment."

"And, if I choose neither?" Liv asked.

"Then, I will walk out the door and you can do whatever you think you must," Alex stated.

"You wouldn't dare?"

"Try me, Miss Benson. Just try me. You may be a woman of many talents, but you have yet to see all the talents that I possess. Princess or not, you will see that I will get my way."

"And, if you don't?"

"Then, there may be Hell to pay," Alex told her.

Liv got up close to her. She could feel the heat rolling off her body and she had to close her eyes and sigh to keep from throwing Alex on the bed. There was a dangerous fire in both their eyes and she knew it. It would consume her, if she let it. Silently she prayed that the next time she called in that she got a court date, because she was starting to serious believe that Alex may be the death of her if didn't get some distance soon.

"I've been to Hell, Miss Cabot. Trust me. They don't want me back. It ended badly for them last time," Liv explained.

"I am sure that it did, but then again, they didn't have me then, did they?" Alex asked.

"No, Princess, they didn't."

Liv backed away from her. The sudden loss of her heat nearby was painfully aware to her body. She had to hold the shiver and quaking of her knees. She wouldn't let Alex see her falter more than she already had. No, she couldn't. She couldn't lose herself with Alex.

"Fine, do you want to shower?" Liv asked her.

"No, I am fine. Do you, though? Do you want to take a shower?" Alex asked, sex dripping from every word, hinting at more than a shower, but still not knowing if Liv would take the bait.

Alex figured that if she could keep Liv off balance then she might have a chance to get the woman to open up more. She would tease her and flirt ridiculously if she had to, but she would get Liv to open up. Alex tilted her head towards the bathroom, hinting with the fire in her eyes what would happen if Liv wanted a shower, and she waited for Liv's reaction.

Liv's breath caught in her throat, but she hid it. Her eyes were burning with an unquenchable desire that she was beginning to have a time keeping in check around the very alluring blonde. She reached around to the table and grabbed her Glock once again. She picked up her daypack and rummaged through it. She found some "credentials" and put them in her back pocket. She tucked the pistol in a clip on holster. She smiled at Alex as she took off the blazer and sat it on the table.

Alex watched her with rapped attention and Liv knew it. She couldn't tell if Liv was doing it to punish her for the kiss or because she was just that damn sexy, but either way, she didn't care. Liv took two strides towards and stopped. She could see Alex's heaving chest, waiting for something, anything that she was willing to offer.

"I need to change and then we are going to go. If you are comfortable in that, fine. If not, I'd suggest you change into something you'd be more comfortable in for a couple of hours. I am sure that we can find something to eat while we are out. Does that sound okay?"

She was all up in Alex's personal space. She knew the effect she was having and she was enjoying it. Alex had kept her on edge for days now and she was just as happy to return the favor. She knew that this wasn't a war between them, but she was planning every move with her like it was. It was just how she operated. She couldn't help herself, then again, she didn't want to. Alex was worth the fight. She was worth so much more, too.

"I am fine," Alex answered the huskiness in her voice evident.

"Good."

Liv stripped off the wife beater and sports bra as soon as she turned away from Alex. She heard the gasp and hung her head. She knew that her scars would look different in the bright light of the morning than it had the night before, but Alex had already seen them at harbor. She couldn't tell if she was horrified or mortified by the sight, now that she was a little more up close and personal to Olivia.

Again, not wanting to have to deal with too many questions, Liv dug through her bag until she found a three quartered sleeved, thin, dressy t-shirt. She laid it on the table and began searching for a bra. When she found one, she deftly put it on and then the shirt. When she turned back around, she could see the arousal in Alex's eyes. She swallowed hard and shifted slightly uncomfortably in her gaze.

"How do you do that?"

"How do I do what?" Liv asked.

"Look like sex on stick."

"Umm…I have no idea what you are talking about," Liv replied, furrowing her eyebrows at her.

"Sure you don't," Alex retorted coming over to her.

She reached behind Liv and grabbed the holstered gun. Liv gave her a quizzical look, but didn't say anything. She grabbed her around the waist and pulled her flush against her own body. She felt Liv's gasp and then very gently pulled at the waist band of jeans. She felt Liv's hands moving towards her, she thought in an attempt to stop her from going any further, until she clipped the holster to Liv's side. She adjusted it until she was happy with the position of it on Liv's hip. She, then, reached around and gathered her blazer, holding it open for Liv to put on.

"Alex…"

"What?"

"Where did you…"

"You are the only 'G' woman that I've been with, Liv. Calm down. Does having it there make you feel better?" Alex replied.

"Yes."

"Then, let's go," Alex stated heading for the door.

"We will need to talk later."

"Talk about what?"

"You know about what," Liv told her.

"Frankly, Liv, I don't. I've already argued my case. I've already said all that I need to say. The prosecution rests. Now, if the defense has something to add before more cross examination, I am all ears. But, it better have a really good case, because I hate to lose. You should already know that fact, though. It is the reason that I am here in the first place. I don't lose unless I want to, and right now, I am not sure whether or not this case is a win, lose, or draw. Do you?"


	25. Chapter 25

They had eaten at the Cabbage Roll. It was another local favorite, a German deli that had some very good schnitzel. Liv had to admit that she was impressed with the small local establishment. The museum has been interesting and Alex seemed liked she had enjoyed herself.

But, now, they were back in their suite. Liv was at the table on the laptop and true to her word, Alex was sitting on the bed, reading. Every so often, Liv would over the screen of her laptop to gaze at Alex, who would just return a smirk, before Liv went back to her research.

"I want to do short trips and spend the night. It might take us a week or so to get to the coast. Fall is approaching, which means that we will need some warmer gear, soon. We'll need to go shopping," Liv told her, not looking up.

"I thought that Cole was preparing you a shipment. I am sure that he'll have plenty of things for us to look through. All of which, I am sure, will be fine," Alex replied.

"He is shopping for you, you know?"

"Okay, and?"

"He is a man."

"I noticed that while we were on his farm."

"Okay, smart ass, but he is picking out your clothes," Liv stated.

"You act like they are going to be hideous."

"You have no idea."

Liv decided to call Cole to check on the "package." She knew that he would give her grief about calling so much, but she had to be prepared for anything. She was trying to plan their trip and she needed to make sure that everything was ready. She was at a point that she couldn't do much else until she talked to him, and she hated to be inefficient.

She reached around the laptop to grab her bag. Remembering then Alex was lying on the bed, once again, as their eyes met and held for a few seconds. She smiled as she pulled out a burner cell. She went back to her laptop and the cell, ignoring Alex much to her dismay, as she scrolled through the numbers to Cole's.

"Hello, Girlie."

"Sergeant," Liv replied.

"What do you need?"

"I am calling to confirm that the package has arrived safely."

"It has. She is loaded down for you, just the way you like it. I added something for you. Plus, I built in a hide for the M82 into the rear seat. I've broken it down for you and stashed it. She's ready if you need her, but I'd leave her in the truck. She's a little big for urban environments."

"I know that. I wasn't planning on using her if I didn't need to. What about the rest?"

"I've put ammo in the standard locations. I've also added a modified M4 for you. She is tucked in above the wheel well with about six mags, stowed and more ready in the other ammo hides. I don't know what else I could give you. You already carry a small arsenal. These are all, you know, just in case, right? You aren't going to all crazy with this, are you? I know that you aren't. But, Liv, you have to promise me that you aren't going to go out there guns blazing."

"Close quarters?" she asked him, going back to the M4 he added to the mix.

"Of course, with IR sights, laser dot, M203 extension with a box of ammo and add on sight, forward hand grip specialized for close quarters, AN/PVS-l7A night vision, sound suppression kit with flash suppressor, and back up iron sights, if you want to go old school."

"Nice," Liv told him.

"I thought that you would appreciate that. But, seriously, Lewey, why are you calling me? I know that it isn't about the package."

"It is and it isn't."

"Tell me, Girlie. I can't help you if I don't know what you need. What's going on?"

"Napa numbers?" she asked vaguely.

"I ran some."

"And?"

"It doesn't look good for a permanent location."

"What do you suggest?"

"You had another option?" he asked her.

"Washington," Liv answered

"State? Cause I hope you don't mean D.C. Please tell me that you don't mean D.C."

"No, state, I am not that stupid," Liv retorted.

"Good, I'm guess some where nice, maybe populated, but that doesn't matter. She gave you a suggestion of there, didn't she? Then I am guessing she is looking for people and city life and comforts, which would mean Seattle. Am I right?" he questioned.

"Yes."

"Not to talkative, are you today?'

"No."

"Okay, so Seattle, it would work better. More people to hide behind, more of a city to hide within. There isn't much cartel activity there, so you wouldn't have to worry about the Colombians coming for her there. I'll look into some properties for you."

"Thank you."

"Still planning a route to get there?"

"Yes," Liv replied.

"Take her to Tahoe."

"Excuse me?"

"Leave Sioux Falls and head west like you are going to Napa Valley. Still take her there, but stop at Lake Tahoe. You'll be fine. It has enough hustle and bustle for her and plenty of quiet for you. Stay there for a few days. I'll procure you a condo or something in Seattle."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet."

"Why? What happened? What aren't you telling me?"

"I told you to call Gregor. You didn't, so he called me. That was not at pleasant conversation."

"Sorry. I am sure that it wasn't. I know that he can be…well…gruff."

"Don't even start. The man is an ass. I know that. You know that. He knows that. But, he did his homework. He called Sanchez, too. Guess it is a good thing you didn't go to Chicago as planned. He is trying to locate you."

"And, you are telling me because?"

"I am sure that he tagged the truck. Check it before you leave. Go through your gear too. He will have put a tracker on something. I threw in some extra burners for you, too. Just in case."

"Again, thank you. Seriously, thank you for everything. I don't know what I would be doing without your help. I know that there has to be a leak in the agency. There has to be," Liv stated.

"I am sure that there is. I managed to get the reports. Someone is leaking information to the cartels, but they weren't expecting you in the mix. They don't know how to cope without the constant intel coming in on Alex. My guess is that they are pressuring Gregor. He is doing his best, but he knows enough about the unit to look for me and Sanchez. Just be careful."

"There isn't anyone else that he could call. You und Sanchez are the only ones left from the team that is either still alive or not on at mission. If he marked the truck, then it is someone higher than him. That gives me more than enough reasons to leave now and not look back. I'll take her to Canada if I have to. I am not going to let her die, Cole," Liv told him.

"I know that, Olivia. That is why I warned you. Just remember to look over your shoulder. They don't know where you are. Hell, I don't even know if you are still in Saint Joseph right now. I don't care. I just don't want anything to happen to either of you," he explained.

"You do, too, care."

"So, I do. What does that matter? It doesn't."

"I know that, Cole, but thanks."

"Quit thanking me, Liv. Take care of her. I'll use backups from here on out. I can't be sure that they haven't tapped my phone. I'm going to check the lines, but I know they can't trace you."

"Gotcha, I'll use proxy 43 from here on out. Don't forget to get the plans drawn up for the final product. I'll want to start moving on it in six months or sooner, depending on…dates. I'll give you the location as soon as I find one. Is there anything else?" Liv asked him.

"Just remember to keep your head down, Girlie. I'll see you in a few months. I'll have the plans ready for you by then. Let me know when the court day is and I'll meet you in New York."

"Will do, Cole. See you then. I'll keep in touch," Liv said ringing off.

Liv immediately started planning a route to the West Coast. Cole had given her more information that she was prepared for, but it was enough to let her know what was going on with the case. They were looking for her and someone was pushing Gregor to figure out where she was, so much so that he leaned on Cole. It wasn't an ideal situation, but knowing now that they were trying to track her would make her more vigilant in their movements.

The fact that Cole talked her out of quiet and peaceful Napa Valley meant that he had given Gregor that information. He was trying to keep Liv a step ahead. They would still go, but they would wait it out at Lake Tahoe. It was only at three hour drive from the Lake to the Valley.

They could make a day trip of it and still be far enough away from anyone finding them.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked noticing the look on Liv's face.

"Nothing that I can't handle."

"What is it? Did they find us? Tell me, Liv. This concerns me, remember?" Alex probed.

"I do, Alex. Trust me. I do. It is why I am trying to figure all this out," Liv stated as she closed the laptop and looked over at Alex a little harder.

"What is it then?"

"Gregor is pressuring Cole to give us up."

"Your handler is pushing Cole to tell him where we are?" Alex asked.

"He did. Cole warned me. There are new protocols that I am going to have to enforce, now."

"Such as?" Alex asked sitting up on the bed and hanging her legs over the side.

"You can't go anywhere without me. You are going to be my shadow. If I tell you do something, do it. Don't question me, just do it. I'll have to go through everything that Cole sent us with the SUV. There may be tags in it that I will have to neutralize. I can't have them tracking us. If they know where I am, they will find you."

"I understand."

"Do you? Do you really? Things just got really serious. This is no longer just a road trip."

"When do we need to leave?" Alex asked calmly.

"We can wait until the morning. I don't want anyone to think that we are using preventive measures, yet. I want to wait and see what Gregor tries to pull. I want to be prepared for anything."

"Is Cole still going to help us?"

"Yes, he is. He is already looking into the future for us. We have gone back into code. If someone has tapped his phones they won't understand what we are saying. Plus, we are masters of misdirection, so if they think they know where we are going. They really won't. I've already put things in place for that. Another reason I am glad that I am getting compensation for some of my expenses for this little operation," Liv told her.

"Expenses?"

"Gas, vehicles, lodging, clothes, and anything else I deem necessary to keep you alive."

"That must be nice," Alex mused.

"Don't be like that. I don't claim half of it. What's the point because I am going to keep it. It would be like I was going to buy it anyway. Plus, I send in everything weeks after I've been somewhere. Another way to keep them from knowing where I am, but only where I've been."

"Do you really think that someone is after me?"

"Yes, I do."

"Why?"

"Because you took a stand and are willing to fight."

"And, that has put more people in harm's way. Great. I have an army as a martyr. Just great."

"No one is asking you to be a martyr. Besides, you don't have an army. You have me, but I guess that could be just as bad as an army," Liv told her laughing.


	26. Chapter 26

Alex had been sleeping peacefully as the road went by unnoticed. She still wasn't sure that Liv had slept at all. It seemed like they had barely been to bed when Liv was waking her up to leave Saint Joseph. It couldn't have even been seven AM when they left. She felt like she had every right to be tired. She chanced a glance at Liv. Her stoicism was infuriatingly tiring.

The trip up Interstate 29 was uneventful. It was a short trip to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. It was only about four hours or so. She was glad for that. She need that time to prepare for what she was about to face.

She knew that everything was at stake now. The real world had caught up to them and now there were precautions and safeties that she would have to follow and deal with. She had been naïve enough to think that Liv would just them all at bay. She knew that it wasn't a realistic expectation to how things should be, but she felt safe with Liv. There was just something about her simple and quiet stances that gave Alex pause.

"What?" Liv asked.

"Hmm…" Alex stated as she realized that she really was awake.

"Are you okay?"

"I guess."

"I'm sorry."

"For what? You haven't done anything and you certainly didn't get me into this mess. I did that all on my own. So you can quit apologizing for something that you had no part of," Alex told her, as she silently reached over and squeezed Liv's right hand that was resting on her thigh.

"I wasn't."

"You weren't, what?"

"I wasn't apologizing for that," Liv stated, never wavering her eyes from the road ahead.

"Then what were you apologizing for?"

"The fact that I haven't done what I was supposed to do."

"Which would be?"

"I am supposed to be protecting you."

"And you aren't?" Alex asked dumbfounded, but never let Liv's hand go.

"I am not doing a good enough job of it."

"I am still alive. I would say that you are doing very well. I haven't tried to run from you. I would say that you are doing something right. I haven't tried to break cover since I've been with you. That would be another check in the doing something right column. Do you want me to keep going? Because I am sure that I can think of some more," Alex told her.

"No," Liv said with a slight laugh.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to believe that we have been compromised."

"Then, don't."

"It isn't that simple, Alex. It is hard enough for me to trust anyone and to believe that Cole might have been…I can't do that. I just can't."

"Then don't. He did tell you. He was upfront about it. He warned you."

"He did."

"Then, don't worry about it."

"I can't."

"I know that you can't forget about all of it, but don't let it get to you. We'll figure this out. It is what we do. We'll go get the SUV. We'll leave the sedan. We'll keep moving. It will all work out. I promise. Everything will be okay. You'll get to retire to wherever you are going to retire to and I'll be back in New York trying cases. I doubt that we'll be on the road much longer. They told me six months tops," Alex told her.

"That was also three years ago. You know firsthand how quickly the wheels of justice turn. We don't even know when your court date is, Alex. I don't know how long we are going to be out here, on our own. I have to get us off the grid. We have to find a way to survive without them being about to find us. We'll have to change our appearances, the way we think, everything."

"I understand."

"Alex…"

"Liv, don't stress out. You need to remain calm. One of us needs to stay calm. Let me be the one that freaks out. It isn't your life on the line. It's mine. I need you to remain calm so you can protect me. Can you do that? Can you be my white knight?" Alex asked her.

"I will do my best, milady," Liv answered her and kissed her hand.

Liv went back into whatever trance she normally did while they were travelling. Alex watched as signs for the Sioux Falls Regional Airport rushed passed them on the highway. It couldn't be a large airport, but it was big enough for their needs. She watched as Liv maneuvered her way through the long term parking areas.

Alex wasn't sure what they were looking for besides it was a similar SUV to the one they had fled New York in weeks ago. Surely, Cole would have painted it and changed the plates. How would they know which one was the one they were supposed to get?

Liv pulled into a space next to a white Suburban. Alex studied it while Liv started to get out. Liv stopped with one foot on the payment and one still in the sedan.

"Move over into the driver's seat after I get out. If something seems off, just go. I'll find you. I'll get back to you. But, your safety is more important than mine," Liv told her as she pulled down a GPS device.

Alex watched her as she plugged some information into it. She then reached behind her and grabbed the daypack. She pulled out some papers and handed them to Alex.

"These are for you, Emily. Keep them on you. There is money and cards in there. They won't know who to be looking for if you use them, so you'll be safe. They don't know your new name. Cole erased everything that he did for us before we left. You don't exist anymore except on paper. Do you understand me?" Liv asked her.

"Yes."

"If something happens, leave."

"I am not going to…"

"Leave! That isn't a choice. It is an order, Emily. You have to leave. If I tell you to go, go."

Alex stared at her wide-eyed. She took the papers, cards, and the new identity. She watched as Liv handed her a new burner cell phone. As the rest were, it had her numbers and Cole's programmed in it, along with the FBI and the rest if she needed help. She remembered the order she was supposed to call if something happened. She looked into Liv's eyes, frightened, because who was she supposed to call since Liv was already with her.

Liv got out of the sedan fully. She kept her daypack on her. She pulled out two of the cell phones and began hooking up some wires and other things up to it. She gave Alex a look and Alex finally moved to the driver's seat. Once she was happy that Alex was where she was supposed to be and the device she made were how she wanted, she went to the tailgate of the Suburban. She ran the device over the lock and it popped.

Once she was inside the hatch, she found the keys and a new day pack. Inside the new pack there were five new cells, a new GPS, a GPS tracker, and a GPS tag detector. She was glad that Cole had warned her. He had even prepared her for the devices that he was giving her. He really was looking out for her. She knew that. She wondered what other goodies he left for her in the hides that the Alphabets wouldn't have known to look for because they didn't know them as well as their files told them that they did.

She took the GPS tracker and the detector and began to comb through the bags in the vehicle. She found several tags in obvious places. She laughed. They couldn't even think of anywhere original to hide them. She quickly pulled them all out and was about to stomp them, destroy them, but then she realized that they would have figured out that she knew. She needed to dispose of them in a way that would give her enough time to get away without them being able to figure out where they were.

She grabbed the new burners, the GPS device and the tags. She walked back to the sedan. She reached inside the driver's side and snatched the GPS device. She placed the new one in the sedan. She dropped the tags and the new burners into her old day pack. Then, she popped the trunk of the Sedan. She threw the old daypack into the trunk as she got out their bags and the cooler. She then transported their bags and the cooler to the Suburban. When she was done with that, she went back to the driver's side of the sedan and looked down at Alex.

"What?"

"They thought that they were smarter than me."

"You found them all?"

"Not yet, but enough. Idiots. Who do they think they sent out on this case? A rookie?"

"Don't take it personally."

"Oh, I am. I can't believe that they are insulting my intelligence this bad. This stinks of the CIA and NSA. The FBI isn't this bright. Did I ever tell you how much I hate the Alphabets?"

"Occasionally," Alex replied as she giggled.

"Let me sweep the truck and then you can get in. I want to get away from here. They don't know when we were coming."

"What about the tags?" Alex asked.

Liv reached into the daypack. She tore open the back of the largest pocket and pulled out a false lining. She pulled out a fresh plate from the state of Arizona. Alex just smiled.

"He really did think of everything, didn't he?"

"That is why I kept him on my team for so many years. He would think of things that I wouldn't and somehow we also ended up needing them, too. I think that this is for you," Liv said handing her a small bag from within the day pack.

"What is it?" Alex asked taking it

"I don't know."

Alex gave her a quizzical look until her own curiosity got the best of her and she opened it. She pulled out some dark auburn hair dye and sat it down on the seat next to her. She grabbed a comb and scissors, too. She gave Liv a questioning look before she pulled out the last thing inside the bag. It was a new passport for Emily Sullivan. She looked at Liv.

"He is a smart man," Liv stated.

"Why would I need this?"

"I might have said something to him about taking you to Canada."

"Wouldn't that be considered treason?"

"Only if I didn't bring you back, Alex. I am not going to keep you there. That is my last ditch effort. Like a consolation prize, you know? I don't want to use it. What else you got in there? I am sure that he gave you lots of goodies to play with. What else is there? I am sure that if you dig deeper in there you'll find a Canadian set too, along with other papers. He wanted to make sure that you were okay. He doesn't leave anything to chance. He has never had the luxury of it. Why start now?"

"Canadian papers?" Alex questions as she dug in the bag and found them.

"Yup."

"What about you?"

Liv reached into the bag and pulled out the Russian, Ukrainian, Canadian, US and British passports. She just smiled at Alex. Once she put the passports back, she showed Alex the various denominations that she had in foreign currency. She closed the bag and threw it in the back of the Suburban. Then she went back for Alex.

"We're good. Let's go. I don't want to stay here anymore."

"Where are we going?"

"West."

"I got that."

"I don't know yet. I'll figure it out on the way. I am just going to head down I 90 for a while. I was thinking that we could head towards Wyoming. It is starting to get cooler. Summer is almost over and I don't want to be anywhere near snow when it hits."

"Don't do cold well, Lieutenant?" Alex teased.

"It isn't that I don't do cold well. It is more of others don't do it well. I don't have time to be worried about them when I have to worry about you."

"So you are worried about me?"

"Always…"


	27. Chapter 27

Liv didn't really set a destination as she continued west going down I 90. She was being conservative driving this time and was only doing the post speed limit of seventy-five. She knew that the speed limits were newish for the people of South Dakota, but she didn't want to stick out. She figured that there would be more speed traps now that there were posted speed limits.

It was closing in on four o'clock in the afternoon. She wasn't that hungry but she decided to pull off at exit 150. There was a Subway just off the exit so she pulled in there. They were near Buffalo Gap. It was a good place to stop for a while, but it would also give Liv time to think and plan ahead for where they would stop for the night. She hadn't been lying to Alex when she told her that she didn't want to drive long every day. Twelve to thirteen hours max would be her idea, but today she would push it. She wanted to be as far away from Sioux Falls as she could be before they came looking for her.

She found a gas station with a car wash. Alex did ask why they were stopping. She knew better. She just wanted somewhere they could stay for the night. She knew that Liv wanted to plan more. It wasn't just a luxury anymore. It had become necessity. Alex knew that now. She had seen the bugs and tags. She had seen the extent that the Alphabets were willing to go to make sure that they knew where she was. She couldn't understand why all the sudden they were worried about what Liv was doing with her. It just didn't make sense. She was one of them.

"Don't over think it," Liv told her.

"Over think, what?" Alex asked her.

"Today. Don't over think it. Just let it go. I told you that I would protect you. I am doing that. I am going to make sure that you aren't found until your court date. I am not going to let them find you. I am better than that," Liv explained.

"I know that."

"Then stop over thinking it. I am going to get gas and a car wash. Then, we'll go to the Subway there for something to eat. We are about to cross another time zone. We are about to gain an hour. We'll eat here, something small, and then once I figure out where we'll end up tonight, we'll eat near there, too," Liv told her.

"Sounds good."

Liv got out of the vehicle and pumped the tank full. She used one of her fake cards to make the purchase and made sure to save the extra fifteen cents by purchasing the car wash, too. Once she was done, she got back in, started the Suburban and headed to the car wash. She rolled down the window and punched in the code. She rolled the window up as she drove in until the lights of the carwash told her to stop. When the Suburban rocked into place, Liv put it in park and waited for the wash to be over.

She grabbed the GPS and started looking for an area to stop. Alex just watched her. She knew that Liv wasn't going to lose a single second while they were waiting.

"Liv?"

"Yes?"

"Do I need to dye my hair?"

"That is up to you."

"Do you think that I need to?" Alex asked, but Liv didn't stop moving around maps on the GPS.

"It couldn't hurt. I am going to get you to cut my hair once we stop tonight. A little change won't hurt us. It will make it harder for someone to find you. Scared of becoming a brunette?"

"No, I am scared of that."

"Then, what's wrong?"

"Why is the paint coming off the car?" Alex asked noticing that the white paint was sheeting down and breaking up off the Suburban.

"Cole."

"What did he do?"

"He made sure that we would be able to change the color if needed. He knew that I would need to as soon as he found out that the Alphabets got a hold of the vehicle. They don't know about Sanchez's paint process. The paint was only meant to survive until washed. The combination of the soap and water would change its structure enough to slide off and dissolve without being detected. It is quiet ingenious," Liv explained as she put the GPS back in the cradle.

"You are repainting the car by washing it?"

"Yes," Liv answered simply.

"But rain…"

"Wouldn't affect it, hence the need of a carwash."

"So, what color is it now?" Alex asked.

"I don't know. We'll have to wait until the wash is over to see. I can tell you that it isn't white anymore though. Knowing Cole though, it is probably black or red. He would keep it in the normal color schemes that the Suburban is actually found in as well," Liv told her.

"Well, that makes sense."

Liv watched her. Alex was scared. She finally understood what the repercussions of her actions, now. Liv wished that she could help her deal with the pain of losing her life, but Liv didn't even know where to begin. She sighed as the green light reappeared letting her know that carwash was done. She slowly pulled out of the carwash and glanced at the GPS.

"Where we headed now?"

"Wyoming."

"Nice."

"Alex?"

"I am alright, Liv. I'll be fine. We need to go. Let's go."

"Alright," Liv stated as she pulled out of the gas station's lot. "By the way, it looks like the Suburban is a silvery color. He changed it just enough that they wouldn't notice."

"What about the sedan?"

"I am sure that it has been destroyed. Cole wasn't going to let them do any tests on it. He'll make me pay for it later, but that is another matter."

"You're sure?"

"It's fine, Alex. I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. You understand that, right? You are the only thing that I am worried about. I don't care what the Alphabets want. All I care about is your well-being, safety, and getting you to New York for your court date. I attend to do that, no matter the cost to me. I have the money. I can make things happen. Don't worry about that. I will make sure that you are always safe no matter what," Liv pledged.

"Liv…"

"Don't, Alex. Just don't. Let's get something to eat. We can talk later," she told her as they pulled into the parking lot for the Subway.

They ate in relative silence. It wasn't a big meal, but it was just enough to tide them over until later. When they were done, they got back into the Suburban and began to head down the highway. At first, Alex didn't notice that they weren't getting back on the interstate. She didn't notice that they were taking a state highway until the passing farmlands on the two lane road.

"Get some sleep. I'll wake you up when we get to Wyoming. Just rest, Alex. It'll help."

"Okay," Alex replied automatically.

Liv knew that tonight would test Alex's resolve. She could only hope that moving on further from Wyoming to Lake Tahoe as Cole suggested would help her deal with it all. She kept her speed within five miles an hour to that posted. Still not wanting to draw attention to them, Liv wanted to get to Cheyenne as quickly as she could. It seemed that it would take them another four plus hours. She was okay with that.

She purposefully didn't call ahead to get a room. She would get something near the highway or inside the town. She knew that they would be looking for her, so the less that they had to go on, the better. She knew that Alex might fight her on it, but it really was for the best that they stay at a "no questions asked, low rent" place.

The terrain passed them by. Liv deftly made turn by turn, highway by highway, until she reached Cheyenne. She was glad that they were back on the Interstate System. It was only for a few miles on I 25, but it helped Liv relax. Her hypervigilance was pushing her and she knew that she needed to calm down. She needed to think things through and not just react.

She slowed to thirty-five as she pulled into Cheyenne. She was glad that they were back in civilization. At least, there were more comforts and places to stay in Cheyenne than had they stayed on the road. It was nearing nine PM according to her watch, but she knew that it was actually closer to eight o'clock local time.

She found her way across town and to an establishment called Guest Ranch Motel. It seemed nice enough from the outside. It was just off I 80. It would put them in perfect placement for the next leg of the trip, once she figured out where she wanted to stop next. Tonight they would stay there. They would change their appearances and they would rest. Liv told herself that they would stay there until Alex was ready to leave. She didn't know if that meant one night or two, but she would give her the chance to make the decision.

"We'll stay here tonight," Liv stated as they pulled into the parking lot.

Alex eyed the motel, but she didn't say anything. Like nights before, she went in with Liv and looked around the lobby. Tonight however, she stayed closer to Liv, closer than normal. Liv noticed it, but she didn't say anything.

She thanked the clerk, took their keys and took Alex's hand. Alex gave her a look, but didn't say anything. She just smiled at her. Liv gave her a smile back as she intertwined their fingers. They didn't have far to go, so Liv made a quick stop at the Suburban before taking Alex to their room. She unlocked the door and ushered Alex inside.

Alex went in and sat on the edge of one of the queen beds. Liv threw their bags on the table and waited for Alex to have her break down. She knew that it was coming and she wasn't prepared. Suddenly needing something to do, Liv dug through the bags until she found the scissors and some clippers that Cole had given them before heading into the bathroom.

Alex watched her. She stood up and went to the bathroom as Liv knelt down before the tub. She had the clippers set out on top of the closed toilet seat. Alex leaned upon the door frame and watched. Liv selected a guard and took the clippers to her hair. She let it fall into the tub for easier clean up later. Chestnut locks flowed down and the rich auburn that graced the upper layers of Liv's hair was gone. She ran her hands over her scalp to brush more of the hair into the tub. When she was happy with the length, she turned to stand up, still brushing hair off her head.

As she stood, Alex backed up to allow her more room. She gave Liv a smile as she hit the vanity. Liv cocked an eyebrow and then smirked at Alex right before she took off her shirt. Alex's eyes grew in pure lust as Liv walked towards her, shirt in hand.

Alex could feel the heat coming from Liv's body and she took comfort in it. Her eyes raked up and down Liv's lithe but scarred body. Liv wrapped her hands around Alex and pulled her into her own body. She pressed Alex's head into the crook of her neck.

"It's okay, Alex."

"What is?"

"You can break down if you need to. I am not going to judge you for it. You've been through a lot in the last few weeks. I understand. This is a lot to take in," Liv explained.

"I don't want to break down. I don't want to cry. I want to go home. I want to wake up in my own bed and this all be an awful dream. But, each morning that I wake up, I know that it isn't."

"Alex…" was the only think that Liv could say as she wrapped her arms around her tighter.

"It isn't your fault, Liv. I know that. You have been spectacular. You are constantly thinking of things that I would dare to dream of and if you haven't then Cole has. The whole problem with this is that I don't want to be Emily. I don't want to be someone else. I want to be me."

"There is nothing wrong with that, Alex."

"There is when it will get me killed."

"You aren't going to be killed. I won't allow it. You are going to be fine."

"You won't always there for me, Liv."

"You don't know that," Liv offered.

"Yes…yes, I do."


	28. Chapter 28

Alex leaned into her. She felt a safety with Liv that she had never known with another person, save her father. She dug her head further into the crook of Liv's neck. She drew in her scent. It was somewhere between leather and sunshine. It was comforting. When she sighed and took a deep breath trying to calm herself, she accidentally breathed in some of Liv's shorn off hair.

"Hey," Liv laughed realizing what Alex had done. "Let me take a shower. Then, we can talk."

"Okay," Alex said walking back into the main part of the hotel room and sitting on the bed.

Liv watched her for minute. She didn't want to leave her alone, but she needed to get the small, tiny hairs that didn't brush off. She quickly grabbed some clothes and headed back into the bathroom. She took a hot shower, trying to allow her muscles to relax for just a minute.

Alex sat on the bed. She finally realized everything. It had hit her like a ton of bricks in long term parking back in Sioux Falls. Her brain had been trying to process the last few days. It was hard. She hadn't really been forced to be Emily and now the threat was real to her.

It had always been real, but it wasn't in her face until Liv shoved those papers at her and told her run if needed that it all clicked. She had been happy to pretend that this was some misguided vacation than Liv was footing the bill for until then. Everything changed in that moment. Everything.

Suddenly, she needed to move. She needed to do something. She couldn't sit still anymore. She got up and crossed the room. She picked up the day pack that Cole had built her and decided to look through it. She dumped it out onto the table.

She pushed the identifications and Canadian passport to the side. She was amazed at their quality and then wondered if they were actually from Canada. Then she noticed the two packs of currency, one in U.S. and the other in Canadian. It was when she found the pistol.

It was a compact Springfield Armory XD .45. There were two magazines in the bag, both loaded. She held it gingerly in her hands. The weight was interesting. She had never thought to carry a weapon. She didn't like them. Then, she thought back to the day she met Liv and the gun she gave her. She shook her head as she put it back on the table.

It was about that time that Liv came back into the room. She was dressed in a wife beater and a pair of gym shorts. She was still toweling her head when she saw Alex with the pistol.

"Be careful with that," Liv told her as she it back on the table.

"I don't want it."

"It doesn't matter what you want. You might need it. It is small and light weight. You can hide it in your purse or a bag, even in your waist band if need be."

"I don't want it," she said with more conviction.

"I am sure that if you look you have a conceal weapons permit for it as Emily."

"I do," Alex replied, holding it up.

"Told you: he thinks of everything."

"I don't want it.:

"Alex, I understand that," Liv told her coming closer to her.

She pulled Alex over to the bed and sat her down. She sat down next to her, keeping her arm around Alex's shoulders. Alex leaned into her.

"Alex, I'll teach you how to shoot it."

"I don't want to learn."

"I know that, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared."

"That is what I have you for, Liv," Alex reasoned.

"Alex…"

Alex turned into her, again. Liv took her body gracefully and laid them back onto the bed. Once they hit the bed, Alex turned onto her side and cuddled up to Liv.

"Will you help me?"

"With what?"

"With my hair?"

"You want to color it?" Liv asked her.

"It isn't that I want to color, but I need to. Emily isn't blond. I need to become Emily for real now. I can't pretend anymore that I have this alter ego in my head. I have to really become her."

"Not yet, you don't."

"Why not?"

"Because we haven't found somewhere permanent yet."

"Liv, that doesn't matter. I need to be her. I need to focus on something."

"And, becoming someone that you aren't, is going to help that?" Liv asked.

Alex sighed. Liv started to rub her hands up and down Alex's back. The intimacy of what they were doing wasn't lost on either of them, but the moment they didn't care. They didn't want to think about it. Liv was more worried about Alex's state of being than she was about the want in her body for the beautiful blond. Alex was just trying to not completely break down, thankful for the warmth and comfort of Liv's body, and wondering why her desire wasn't slacking.

"I need to do this."

"Alex, you'll be fine for a couple of days. You don't have to rush into anything. We can stay here until you are ready to move on. I doubt that they will even think to look for us here. They think that we are heading to Napa. Cheyenne isn't really on the way. I've looked."

"Do you think that they have found out that we have the Suburban by now?"

"I am sure that they do."

"What are you going to do when you call in to Gregor?"

"I don't know. I am probably going to give him a piece of my mind. But, that doesn't matter right now. You do. I promised everyone that I would keep you safe and I will. Do you trust me?" Liv asked her.

"Yes."

"Then, let me do this my way. I don't know what it going on back in D.C. or in New York as it pertains to your case, but I am going to find out. Don't look at me like that. And, yes, I saw you just roll your eyes at me. I have my ways, but I will figure it out."

"Why?"

"Because, I want to know why you are being targeted besides the fact that you refused to back down. There has to be another reason. It doesn't make sense that they would send me to protect you and give me free reign over the mission only to question me later. What that tells me is that someone above Gregor doesn't like the way things are being handle, and I want to know why."

"Why does this bother you so much?"

"You are honestly asking me that?" Liv asked her.

"Yes, I am," Alex replied.

"You pissed off a cartel and ended up in Witness Protection. You weren't exactly a model person for the program. You are strong willed and head strong. They should have known that you would rebel some. But, the points where did rebel against the system, didn't seem to be that troubling. They just moved you. No questions, no investigations, they just moved you. That isn't normal procedure. Then, after the last time, they called me on what was supposed to be my last assignment. They called me back Stateside and gave me your case," Liv told her.

"Is that not a normal procedure for your unit?" Alex questioned.

"No, it isn't, but then again we don't have a normal SOP to follow. We kinda go our own thing, but we always get the job done. That is why we are the best at what we do. We aren't afraid to do something that the big wigs in the suits are. Sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes it is a bad thing. Right now, I don't know which it is," Liv explained.

"But, you still took my case."

"I did."

"Why?" Alex asked her.

"Because, Gregor owes me. He figured that this would be a simple task and then I could retire. I don't think he realized how deeply involved I would get. I am wondering if I wasn't supposed to take it. I think he figured that I would tell him 'no'."

"But, you didn't."

"I didn't think I really had a choice. I want to retire. I don't want to do this anymore."

Alex sighed deeply. Liv lightened her grip around her. She could feel the worry growing in Alex, but knew it would do no good to continue talking about it. She needed to process it her way and then and only then would she be able to handle the situation.

"Alex?"

"Yes'?"

"Are you sure that you want to do your hair?"

"I should do it, right?"

"I've already answered that question tonight," Liv reminded her.

"Then, yes. I do want to do it. I just don't know how I will look as a brunette. Do you think it will look good?" Alex asked her.

"You'll look fine. I promise. It might take me some getting used to seeing you like that, but you'll look line. Don't stress about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Alex, you are a beautiful woman. It isn't going to matter whether you are blond or brunette. You are still going to be beautiful. If people treat you differently, then that is their problem and not yours. You can be Emily as at brunette. I promise that I will get you bleached back out to be Alex before we go back to New York, if that will help," Liv offered.

"It does. I don't know what they would think of me if I came back different. I won't be Emily anymore and I am sure that most of my friends wouldn't understand, either."

"Then they are fools. Don't worry about it. We'll deal with it as time goes on. Hell, if you don't want to be a brunette, we can go get a different color in the morning. I am sure that I can find a store nearby that sells hair dye. If you don't want to do that, we can find at shop and take you there. I'll let you decide on that one, okay?" Liv suggested.

"You really don't care, do you?"

"I want you to stay as happy as I can keep you considering everything that is going on."

"I appreciate that. Thank you. Do you think that we can wait until tomorrow?" Alex asked her.

"That's fine. I've already told you. We can stay here for a couple of days. I am sure that it will take the Alphabets awhile to figure out that they don't have a tracking device on us. I want to keep moving, but we can wait at least a day or so. That's all I can give you right now."

"I understand."

"Alex, just stay calm. I promise that I am going to take care of you, but I don't know that we are going to make it to Napa. I'll do my best, but right now, I can't promise anything," Liv explained to her, turning her head down to Alex's hair so that her lips were resting on it.

"I know," Alex replied and then snuggled deeper into Liv.

Liv held her and stroked her back. She didn't know what else to say to her. She hurt for her, but she knew that Alex could handle it all once her brain processed the situation fully. She knew that Alex had three years to process it, but she had been sheltered by the Alphabets during that entire time. Being with Liv was a new adventure for her and she had to process the problems that her choices had caused her. She had to face the consequences of her decisions to pursue justice in everything.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?" Liv asked her as Alex pulled her head up to look into Liv's eyes.

"I just…thanks…I mean…oh, hell," Alex stated as she leaned up into Liv and kissed her.


	29. Chapter 29

Liv's arms instinctively tightened around her, but it didn't stop her from moving. Alex had managed to lean up and use her feet to push up against the bed. She aligned herself further with Liv as she continued to kiss her. She could feel the softness of Liv's lips and it gave her a thrill. She wanted to taste her, to know her, to make Liv feel things that they had both only dreamed about with each other.

Her body was addicted to the warmth of the woman slightly below her and holding her. She felt wonderful before Alex's knowing hands, but she didn't know Liv. Her hands graced across Liv's cheek. She could hear the moan building before it escaped.

Liv pushed her back just enough to look into her eyes. Chestnut met cerulean and melted. As their eyes danced over each other's faces, Liv's resolve broke a little more. She knew that she should stop Alex, but she didn't want to.

They had been flirting and fighting their obvious connection for weeks. Alex did have a penchant for pushing Liv's boundaries further and further away. There was just something about her that Liv knew that she could lose herself in if she would let Alex close enough. She had been fighting it since they arrived at Cole's. Alex didn't look at her like something that needed to be fixed but something that should be cherished and loved. As appealing as it seemed to be, Liv knew that she shouldn't be giving in the temptation of Alex. But, when her lips moved across Liv's neck the way they were, all bets were off.

Alex needed to feel something, anything. She needed to ground herself in the reality that they were creating. She didn't care about protocol and principles at the moment. She needed to feel the warmth of another person against her. It helped that Liv was so damn beautiful and warm.

Her mouth was insistent. She wasn't going to lose this fight. Not tonight. She needed this. She needed Liv like she needed air. She needed the connection and she knew that Liv did, too.

Alex moved from her neck to her jaw line. She heard Liv sigh. She continued to brush her lips across Liv's skin. With each new kiss, she waited for Liv to stop her. When she didn't, she continued up her jaw and to her ear lobe. She took it in her mouth and sucked on it, nibbling on it just a little.

Liv moaned. Her mind was telling her stop Alex's advancements, but she didn't. She liked the feeling. She indulged not only herself and her desires, but Alex's as well. She was willing to give in for just a moment, but she knew that nothing would ever come of a relationship together.

Alex was amazed at her self-control and her want for the dangerous woman next to her. She couldn't help but smile around the bitten ear lobe when Liv moaned in pleasure. She couldn't help herself as her hands ghosted over Liv's face and brought their lips back together again. The kiss was a clash of teeth and lips as they fought for dominance and self-control, neither willing to give in or give up. She was not going to be detoured this time. She was going to make Liv understand what she felt, what she saw and what she wanted.

Liv didn't stand a chance against Alex's onslaught, but then again, she would have had to want to stand up against it in the first place. She wasn't sure how Alex did it, but she really didn't care once she felt Alex sit across her hips. Liv looked up at her from her back and saw the raw emotion pouring from her clear and lust filled azure eyes. It was intoxication at its finest and Liv was drinking it up and drowning in the feeling.

Alex kissed her hard and bit her lip. Then, she would soothe the lip with her tongue as she kissed her softly and gently. She kept changing the pace and the pattern so quickly and without any warning that Liv's brain couldn't keep up with thought, but only feeling. When her hands moved down the side on Liv's torso to anchor themselves on her hips, Liv once again found her hands on Alex's back. This time just meeting skin, as her hands had gone under Alex's shirt. The electricity of sensation pulsed through Liv's fingers and straight to her core.

Her desire for the blonde was off the charts and she was losing herself in Alex's touch, body, and kiss. Her brain was trying to throw red flags in front of her face, but her libido was pushing them aside as fast as they could come. Her body was surrendering to the affections of the younger woman and Liv knew that she was lost…so very lost in the ambiance of everything Alexandra.

Just as quickly as Alex started the kiss, she stopped. She rocked back onto her heels and sat there, still across Liv's hips. She stared down into her blown russet eyes and waited for the supplications and the appeals of apology for allowing the instance to occur, again, and with so much more force and hunger this time. She knew that Liv had nothing to apologize for because she was the one that pushed the envelope.

The yearning in her heart for the comfort of another person, someone who didn't care who she was or is, was more than she could handle. She needed an outlet and Liv was there. It wasn't ideal for either of them, but the attraction was mutual. Of that, Alex was sure. She wanted Liv, but she had to wonder if was on just a physical level or if there was some emotional bond as well. She was trying to deal with everything that had been going on.

Three years was a long time trying to be yourself and not being yourself. She hadn't become some new name and persona. She had stayed Alex and it had created the pleasant Hell that she found herself in today. Liv wasn't just a distraction for her and that began to worry her. Could she actually be falling for the raven hair beauty below her?

Liv stared up into her questioning eyes and waited. She wanted more, but her mind was telling her to run away from Alex and just the protector that she was supposed to be. Her heart wouldn't let her move. She knew that it might be wrong to fall for her, but she couldn't deny the growing desire within her own soul. She was drawn to Alex in a way that she hadn't been with any other human being in her existence. That in itself was enough to give Liv pause, but not assuage her thirst and lust for the woman straddling her body.

She reached up with her hands and held firm to Alex's hips, pushing her down her own hips just enough to sit up. She met her face to face, and the questions in her eyes didn't go away. There was a war brewing inside both of their heads and they didn't know which side was going to win.

Liv didn't want to let her go. She slid her hands back up from Alex's hips to her back, allowing them to glide back under her shirt. Alex leaned into the movement and sighed. She leaned forward into Liv's welcoming body and put their foreheads together. She placed her hands on Liv's shoulders and willed herself not to kiss her again.

Liv however didn't. She leaned forward just enough to kiss Alex of guard. She met no resistance as she nibbled slightly on Alex's lower lip. Liv could have sworn that she heard Alex moan, quietly, at the action. When she teased her mouth with her tongue, Alex parted her lips and allowed Liv's complete domination. She relished in it.

But, again, just as quickly as it began, it ended. Alex pulled back and held Liv's upper body back away from her own. Her arms weren't fully extended, but to Liv the gesture felt like she was pushing her away. Their eyes danced, but no questions were asked.

"Help me with my hair?" Alex asked breaking the silence and the tension.

"Sure," Liv told her.

Alex moved off of her and went to the table to gather the box of dye. She opened and started preparing the mixtures. She moved the vanity and watched Liv's movements in the other room as she stalked up behind her.

The longing wasn't gone from her eyes, but the rest of her body took on another posture of readiness. Alex wasn't sure what was going on in Liv's head, but she wondered if she was fighting the same battle she was. She let out a pent up breath when Liv stopped just behind her. The warmth rolling off of her onto Alex caused her own bewilderment at her actions just moments before to seem like it had been the best idea she'd had in decades.

Liv quietly donned the gloves and took the mixture. She found the comb that Cole had supplied and began to squeeze the dye onto Alex's head. She did it in a methodical fashion betraying her military background and her constant vigilance. Liv didn't say a word while she finished her task. Truth be told, she didn't know what to say and she feared what the sound of her voice would be and do to Alex if she had tried for small talk at that moment. No, being quiet and vigilant was what Liv was good at. It didn't matter the task or the problem.

Now, when she looked down into Alex's sapphire eyes, she wondered if she would see her as a problem. Part of her knew that she would and the other hoped that she wouldn't. She didn't know what do or say to make things better between them. She was lost. She was totally lost.

When she was done applying the dye, she set the timer on her watch and went back to the bed to sit down. Alex sat and watched her from the table. They weren't going to talk about it. They weren't because if they did, they would have to admit that it had happened and that they both wanted it. They weren't ready for that. They weren't ready for emotions and connections. They were both just trying to survive. They could have used each other and not think anything of it, but now, they were growing closer. And closeness meant so much more.

Liv's watch alarm went off. Alex silently got up and went into the bathroom. Liv watched her go and felt like a heel the entire time. She went back to the bed and lay down. She began to count the ceiling tiles and try to find patterns in its random fissure texture when she heard the shower start. She couldn't remember Alex taking clothes and for wished for everything holy and for the sake of her mental capability that she had.

She was starting to feel like she was having a hard enough time keeping her hands off the other woman. She didn't need to see her naked. It would only fuel her growing need for Alex's touch and companionship. It was dangerous. It was a complication that she didn't want to have to deal with, but it was becoming more and more real with each second that they were in closer proximity to each other. Liv was losing the fight but she wasn't ready to surrender completely. She didn't know if she ever would be again, especially after Yulia.

Liv slapped herself. She couldn't believe that she had just compared Alex to Yulia. They were nothing alike in mentality or wants. Sure, Alex was blond just Yulia, but that is where the similarities really ended. Alex was warm and supple in ways that Yulia could never be. They were both intelligent, but Alex had a savviness that most people would envy. She could literally talk her way out of most arguments and leave you feeling like the fool. No, Alex wasn't Yulia, but Liv knew that she could hurt her just the same if she allowed her too close.

Alex opened the door to the bathroom slowly and quietly. She hoped that Liv had gone to bed. She was only mildly disappointed when she saw her sit up on the bed as she returned into the room. Alex crossed the room and set on the other bed for a second before she stood back up to undress the bed enough to get in it for the night.

They still said nothing to each other. Finally, her throat dry and her feelings everywhere, Liv stood up and went to their cooler. She pulled out a soda, popped the tab and drank heartily. She tried to slacken her sudden thirst for Alex with her own thirst. It didn't work. She crossed the room and started to pull out her laptop, determined that she was going to do something with the pent up energy flowing through her, now.

Alex just watched her from her perch on the end of the bed, towel in hand as she absently dried her now auburn hair. She, too, couldn't sit on the bed any longer. She went back to the vanity area, dropped the towel on the counter, and leaned over the sink as she stared at her "new" self in the mirror. She was taken aback a little by the visage that greeted her. It was more like a twin staring at their twin, then her own reflection looking back at her.

She stayed there, staring at herself for unknown minutes before she felt Liv behind her. She hadn't seen her move from the table in the other room, but she was so close that she could smell her. Her body wanted to give in to the temptation. Her eyes must have betrayed her, so she closed them and turned around. When she opened them, she met Liv's body, front to front, face to face, eye to eye. She had nowhere to run or hide.

Liv usually not the aggressor in such situations found that she couldn't temper herself or her cravings for Alex's body, naked and beneath her. She let out a strangled moan in a hoarse sigh. Alex heard it and tried to take a step back, but Liv's arms stopped the movement. The next thing either of them knew, Liv had Alex pinned against the wall, her hand around her throat, loosely. Before either could protest, Liv crashed her mouth onto Alex's lips and gave her everything.

Alex moaned. Liv sighed, but they never broke the kiss. The clashed over and over again, but didn't stop. Teeth, tongues and lips met, clashed and fought, but there would be no winner. Liv finally unable to take the teasing that she had created, backed up just enough, her hand still holding Alex by the throat. She looked into her crystal blue eyes and broke a little more under this woman's awesome and contagious spell of emotions. Being with her made Liv realize that she wanted an out. She wanted to retire. She could actually have a life…worth living.

"Come to bed with me," Liv stated and the plea even sounded strange her own ears.

Alex merely nodded in agreement. Liv let her go and they both walked over to the bed that had been, for lack of a better description, making out on earlier. Liv got Alex into the bed and methodically turned all the lights off. She got into the bed and curled up next to Alex. She felt her melt into her as she put an arm across her stomach, pulling her back into her own front, and holding her there as that spooned.

"Alex…"

"Not, now, Liv…"

"But, Alex…"

"In the morning, Liv…we can talk in the morning. Right now, just hold me and let me pretend that everything is going to be normal in the morning. I just need to get some sleep."

"As you wish," Liv answered, giving her a slight kiss in her hair, knowing that it was going to take hours for her body to calm down enough to go to sleep.

When she finally heard the steady breathing of Alex, Liv finally dared to close her eyes. All she could see was Alex in her dreams. And the only thought that crossed her mind, _damn, this is going to be a long six months or more until her court date. I hope I don't combust before then._ Liv didn't know how much more she could take before she gave in fully. She reflexively snuggled further into Alex and finally drifted off into dreamland.


	30. Chapter 30

Alex awoke sometime in the wee morning hours. Daylight still hadn't broken through the curtains of the room. She was more relaxed than she had been in years and then, she realized why. The strong, muscular and tan arm around her stomach gave her pause, but she felt protected, cared for and even dare she say loved. She sighed.

The arm around her middle tightened. She knew that she should get up and face the day, but she was just so damn comfortable. And, she thought, _as long as I am in bed with her, we don't have to talk._ It was more than she wanted to deal with.

It wasn't that Liv wasn't someone that she couldn't love. She knew that she could. But, their circumstances weren't ideal to develop a meaningful relationship. Alex was worried what would happen to them if they tried. She wanted to go back to New York, back to work and Liv wanted to retire to some quiet place in the country near the mountains and the ocean. They wanted two different things. They were different. They wouldn't work.

But, then Liv would look at her, the way she had last night and Alex's heart would melt. She couldn't deny the way Liv made her feel. It was warm and wonderful. Something that she hadn't felt in a long, long time, and that is another reason that it was dangerous. She loved her career. She loved getting the conviction, but her resolve was waning the longer she was her.

She couldn't think about her future when she was with Liv. All she could think about was her past and how she was going to survive. She absently wondered if that was how Liv processed everything.

The more she stared at the window, the more she wondered about her future. Did she even really have one? Or, would she be on the "run" with Liv for the rest of her life? The thought of being with Liv didn't disappoint her as much as she thought that it should. Instead it made her feel…loved, wanted, cherished, happy…guilty that she would never see any of her friends again. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she didn't have many friends and those that she did have were all cops or lawyers. There were no "regular" people in her life.

That is why Liv was so refreshing. She wasn't a cop or lawyer. She didn't think about the legality of everything. She processed information as it came and made a decision based on her life experience. She wasn't worried about how anyone else would think she was crazy or wouldn't worry about the possibility of the ramifications of the law. She simply just did.

She sighed again. She could feel the small, even breaths of Liv on her hair. She could get used to this. There were worse things than waking up with a beautiful woman every morning. Alex was beginning to re-evaluate her entire lot in life. There was just something that Liv could give her that no one else had before and she couldn't name it.

She finally had to get out of the bed. She couldn't lose herself completely to Liv. She had to regain some of herself. She might be Emily Sullivan in name, but she would always be Alexandrea Cabot at heart. She had to find a way to reconcile the two and live with it. She didn't know who Emily really was except she was a brunette with Liv. And she couldn't even define what "with Liv meant" at that moment.

She moved Liv's arm slowly as to not wake her. As she free herself slowly, she got out of the bed. She went to the bathroom to complete her morning ritual and found herself dressed some thirty minutes later sitting at the table with a cold soda staring at Liv's laptop. Her curiosity got the better of her and she booted it up. She knew that she couldn't go on Facebook or any other site that would require her to log in. She needed to find something else. She needed a distraction. She looked over at Liv and thought about how easy it would be to get back in bed.

Instead she found a chat site. She figured that she could talk to someone and they wouldn't have to know who she was. She would be able to hide in anonymity. She decided that she could cultivate her new persona online without anyone ever suspecting who she really was. It was the perfect way for her to learn more about Emily Sullivan.

She logged into the messenger service. She was surprised to find that Liv had an account and that it auto-logged her in. Alex was about to her out when a chat window opened from another user. Their name was **RangerDanger**. Alex gave a quick laugh. She saw the customary greeting and decided that it wouldn't hurt to say "hello" back. She was still trying to figure out what Liv's screen name was.

RD: Hey there.

**BlackMistSapper: Hi.**

BlackMistSapper? Alex wondered if the name meant anything obvious to anyone. She doubted it because then Liv wouldn't be using it. She doubted that any of the Alphabets even knew that she used this chat forum site.

RD: How are things?

BMS: Everything is fine.

RD: You okay?

BMS: Fine.

RD: Did you get my goodies?

BMS: Goodies?

RD: the toys I left for you

BMS: Ah, yes, I did. They were perfect. Thanks.

RD: How she taking it?

BMS: As best as she can.

**MexiCutioner: Hola, amigos.**

RD: Hey, Bucky.

BMS: Hola.

MC: Hey there Louis, how's the van?

BMS: Good as new.

Alex didn't know if they were speaking in riddles or codes. The more she studied the wording and the names the more everything made sense to her. They were Sanchez and Cole. They were using the forum to talk. It would be easy enough to hide there and have a conversation without anyone being able to trace them or really figure out what they were talking about.

MC: Glad that worked out for you. Do you need anything else? I have tickets if you do.

BMS: No, I think that I am good for now.

RD: How is everything on the home front? You and the Misses get along? Good?

BMS: As well as can be expected.

RD: I told you.

BMS: That you did.

MC: Just let yourself go, Louis. Good things come to those who wait. You've waited long enough. I know that this vacation is what you're needing to relax.

BMS: That it is.

RD: Doing any relaxing?

BMS: I've been to the pool a few times.

RD: Did you take her?

BMS: Yes.

RD: Did you hear about the Angel of Paris?

MC: No, but have heard about the Devil of Colombia.

BMS: Stop playing.

MC: Calm down, Louis.

BMS: I am perfectly calm.

RD: I've heard that before. Are you okay? Any more nightmares?

BMS: Her's or mine?

RD: She's been having nightmares? Aren't you two a pair? Talked to her yet.

BMS: I talk to her every day.

RD: You know what I mean. Don't worry about it. Give it time. She'll come around if she hasn't already. Vino doesn't look good. I was thinking more north would be good to visit. Have you made it to the Lake yet?

BMS: No, we haven't. Had to stop. She needed a break and a haircut. Women.

RD: ROFL. Indeed, but she is good for you, Louis. She'll heal the pain on your heart.

BMS: I think that she is trying.

RD: If anyone can erase that Russian Mail Order Bride, she will, right? She's beautiful. I know that you see it. Come on. Tell your old man that you've kissed already and I'll drop it.

MC: Dad, leave Louis alone. You know that he doesn't like women like that. He doesn't know what to do with them. That is why he always runs.

BMS: I do NOT run!

Alex didn't know why she was taking up for Liv with them. She had figured out that Liv was constantly being teased for being with her. She didn't know how she dealt with being a woman in a usually all male profession, but for some reason Liv made it work. She had to respect her for that. She couldn't believe how alike they really were.

RD: Sorry son.

BMS: You said that Vino was out. Why? I figured it would be nice this year.

RD: Would have been if the Princess hadn't pissed off Jumbo and the rest.

MC: Speaking of Jumbo, wanna tell me why he is still camped outside?

BMS: He misses me?

RD: LOL, that is an understatement. Cal is expecting you. But, I figured that the Sea would be a better place for you and the misses to settle for a while. I got your plans. I got the architect working on them. I have to say that it is an ambitious house. You've got your work cut out for you. I don't think that it will be ready by your deadline, but you could always hope, right.

BMS: I can. Anything else? The princess will be waking soon, I'm sure.

RD: You tell her about the Russian bitch.

BMS: I did.

RD: How'd she take it?

BMS: As well as could be expected. She wasn't happy to know that she wasn't the first, but she understood why I've been so "gun" shy. I will have to give her one thing though.

MC: What's that, big bro?

BMS: She is persistent. She likes to push me. And, she is like a dog with a bone.

MC: Sounds perfect for you. Don't screw this one up, Louis. She sounds like a keeper. Especially since you are half way across the world with her, alone…I heard that Paris was nice. How did she like our little slice of the world?

BMS: Well enough.

RD: You don't like talking about her.

BMS: No, I don't.

MC: What's wrong, bro? The filly break you already? I'm sure that you enjoyed it.

BMS: I am going back to bed.

RD: Louis!

BMS: Yes, dad?

RD: Have you told her yet?

BMS: Have I told her what?

RD: That you genuinely care for her.

BMS: I don't see how that is your business.

RD: I just want you to be happy.

BMS: I am happy.

RD: With her?

BMS: Yes, with her…

RD: Then, tell her that. She might be a Parisian Princess, but she is a good woman. She would make you a mighty fine misses if you would let her.

BMS: I doubt that she feels the same way.

RD: You won't know until you tell her.

BMS: I can't. Not now. It would ruin things.

RD: You've done something, haven't you, Louis?

BMS: Define something.

RD: You haven't slept with her. If you had, you've called going on and on about the craziness in your head. You've always been a little stunted when it comes to emotional things. But, you've crossed a line with her, haven't you?

BMS: Yes.

MC: Way to go, BRO!

RD: Bucky, why don't you go work on the new lines. I think that Louis and I need to discuss this in private. Btw, I remembered that the car needs a thorough cleaning and a wash. I don't know what happened to it, but it has a weird smell.

MC: That's what happens every time you take it to Thunderbird Alley. It comes back ashy. I swear, I don't know why you let Louis drive it there.

RD: He needed a car. It was available. Besides, he treats my cars better than you.

MC: It was one time and I really didn't mean to go over the bridge.

RD: That was my favorite car. Now, go start working on the new lines. I have shipment to make and I want it to be on time. Besides we are on a schedule. Places to go, people to see, things to do, you know the drill.

MC: Unfortunately, I do…all too well. Talk at you later, big bro. Btw, just kiss the girl.

Alex just stared at the screen as the username MexiCutioner signed off. She assumed that it was Sanchez. She knew that it was wrong for her to be talking to them, but she didn't have any other way of getting to know Liv. She wasn't exactly forthcoming with it came to detail. It had taking weeks and nightmares for her to find out about Yulia and even that took some dealing to get.

RD: Still there, Louis?

BMS: I am here, dad.

RD: Good, so I talked to the travel agent and he said that the Lake was a go. He has it all arranged for you. But, I know that you want to get to the coast. I am working on getting that house built for you. I found the perfect spot. It overlooks the bay and the mountains, just like you wanted. I am heading that way soon. I want to make sure that they get ground breaking started sooner rather than later.

BMS: Thanks.

RD: She say anything to you yet?

BMS: About?

RD: You know the wedding?

BMS: No, we don't have a date yet. I guess I need to call her father to make sure that he is still okay with it. He didn't seem too happy with me last time I called.

RD: I can imagine. You took her on a cross-country trip with no itinerary or specific destination in mind. No one knows where you are until you contact us. He hasn't been back to the house, but I can tell that he's been waiting for me to leave.

BMS: He hasn't threatened you, has he?

RD: Just looks, no words. Plus, I think he knows better than to tangle with the likes of me. He is just worried about his little girl. You did just whisk her off her feet and leave. I think that he is afraid that you are going to elope.

BMS: And, miss the wedding?

RD: That is what I told him. You couldn't deny her the big picturesque wedding. I know that you can't tell her 'no.' I am just wondering how she convinced you to get that RV and go gallivanting across the country. What is this, her last hoorah?

BMS: Maybe it is. I don't know. We haven't really been talking.

RD: Why not?

BMS: It's a long story.

RD: Well, your old man has nothing else to do today. So go ahead and tell me. I'm waiting.

BMS: I kissed her.

Alex sat there and waited for a response. She didn't get one. He logged off. She shut down the computer. As soon as she closed the laptop, she looked over the table to see Liv's eyes watching her. Damn it, she'd been busted.


End file.
